So lonely

8 replies

onceacuntalwaysacunt · 15/12/2016 15:26

Hi - I left my husband of 26 years earlier this year. I have 2 DC's - one lives with him & one lives with me. It was completely my choice to leave after a long, long catalogue of DV, EA & VA.

I struggle financially - the other day I managed to scrape together £3 in 1p's & 2p;s to change at the bank - it is that bad. I managed to sell a watch this week so that will go along way to paying for Christmas.

I Love my new house & my freedom but I am just so lonely.

I have a new partner but he lives 1.5 hours away so we only see each once a week. My DC is 17 so is never at home except when she wants feeding.

My exh , who until 2 weeks ago still harboured illusions of us getting back together again, has found a new GF & is busy playing happy families in the space of a week - taking DC out for dinner with her DC's & her. I wanted him to move on but feels weird.

All my friends are off round for drinks etc but no-one seems to invite a newly separated woman.

Just feeling sorry for myself.

OP posts:

CockacidalManiac · 15/12/2016 15:27

for you.
It can be a rough old time of year.

Laiste · 15/12/2016 15:38

Horrible and extra difficult when money's tight.

Are there any singles/meet up club type things in your area which you could join? Google 'meet friends in your area' and see what there is maybe? It's not necessarily about romance. A lot of them seem to be about just meeting up for a coffee or a drink and a laugh.

Meemolly · 15/12/2016 15:46

Sorry you feel like this. You have clearly made a massive change that was entirely for the best and I guess at times the reality of your new life is hard. Never forget what you walked away from and why. Don't fall into the trap of thinking he has everything wrapped up in a new relationship, there hasn't been time for any of that to fall into place and she doesn't know him yet. Work on how to make yourself feel content with what you have now and why you are where you are.

SoleBizzz · 15/12/2016 15:47

Have you tried meet up app? Have a look and see what's going on in your area. Keep having a look at tge updates and people who join the groups. Most people are just like you and looking fur company. I hope you feel better soon x

SoleBizzz · 15/12/2016 15:53

Spice is another social meet up site .

Gottagetmoving · 15/12/2016 15:54

It is all still new and strange for you.
If you can, join something local that doesn't cost anything to join just to get you out meeting new people.
If your friends don't invite you just because you are now single they are not very good friends.

isseywithcats · 15/12/2016 15:57

have you thought about volunteering, i have done so at a drop in centre for vunerable people (ie drug addicts and homeless people) and i work as a volunteer at a cat rescue centre and work one day a fortnight at their charity shop and i can honestly say i have made some really good friends from these, see if theres a local volunteer orginisation near you

ShowMePotatoSalad · 15/12/2016 16:03

I'm so sorry. The time of year doesn't help.

How you feel is normal and understandable. Can you speak to your friends and ask them to invite you out more? Tell them you need it. Go out and have fun.

You will feel better about your ex - it just takes time. It's never easy to see someone move on, despite the fact you've broken up. But it will get better.

Have you had financial struggles before your divorce ie as a couple? Or is this because of the divorce? Do you have spousal support?

Flip