To date whilst 20 weeks pregnant

[WynterBlossom]

Hey all, so!

Have name changed for this.

I'm single but pregnant, would it be wrong to date whilst pregnant &! Also how would I go about telling the guy in a way which wouldn't scare him off?

I'm not looking for a relationship nor am I looking for sex, I'm just looking for a bit of company and to obviously get out the house aside from going to work!

I dated while pregnant (poly).
Had a temporary girlfriend who cleared off after the birth. It was a good arrangement but she started being really weird after the baby was born. Things like passive aggressive posts on Facebook about why cats are better than children. She still does it every now and then and I haven't spoken to her for over 18 months...

Just think how it might affect you and baby post birth. Especially when hormonal! I was first wrapped up in feeds/sleep/nappies madness then after a month got really upset (unexpectedly!) That I wouldn't be seeing her any more. Bloody hormones...

My friend met his GF (now wife) while she was pg. They saw each other regularly throughout the pg, he wasnt really involved during the birth etc and I think they didnt see so much of each other in the newborn phase, but they picked up again when the baby was a bit older and have now been together 20 odd years :)

Go for it.

I think you need to be really up front. More so about not wanting a relationship or sex, than about the baby tbh. Personally I think it sounds like the doorway to a whole lot of unnecessary stress and complications but maybe it'll work out.

I think you're looking at this all wonky...

If you meet a nice guy and get along, like each other, etc, surely a date will come from that. Until you do, it won't happen.

And i would steer well clear of OLD.

Well fine from your perspective

But think of the other persons perspective - I do think it's kind of bizarre from the other persons perspective

Not only that, but if it was on your profile or something then you may attract weirdos who specifically fantasise about someone pregnant

To clarify my post refers to dating a stranger via Old or simimlar
Rather than naturally meeting someone or dating someone you already know who knows you are pg

Rather than dating per se, could you join some sort of club where you could meet like-minded people if you largely just want company, and if you are lucky you might meet some men you like that way, but without the pressure. Dating per se just sounds like it would be quite stressful right now. If you do date I just think you need to be really honest about the situation and what you are looking for. As PP have said though I would have thought it would be getting pretty obvious soon anyway if you are already 20 weeks.

Obviously, if you want to, there's no law against it or anything but I think it's:

a) a bit unkind - if you're not interested in a relationship, I think it's pretty misleading to go out on dates, it's wasting other people's time (and likely their money as well) on someone who isn't interested and

b) a bit unwise, I think most men (sorry) are not going to be interested in a pregnant woman, and those that are are likely to be not necessarily that great, they may be attracted to you because you're more vulnerable (abuse often starts during pregnancy) or (less sinister but still not great) attracted by the idea of a ready made family and rush things.

I suppose I also think it's probably not a great idea for you either - I would focus on things you won't be able to do as easily post baby and on building a strong support network for being a single parent and that network is likely to come from your friends/family, not dates.

YANBU, I dated whilst pregnant. Didn't meet anyone worth keeping around romantically, but I did make a really good friend (DDs godfather, actually).

If you make it clear you're looking for something casual, not a dad for your child - then it's fine. You do need to be upfront about it though. E.g. Say exactly what you said before "I'm pregnant but not looking for a dad or a serious relationship, looking for someone that might turn into something more eventually" but much more eloquently.

You might miss an opportunity to meet someone really great, and you won't have much time to date once baby is here - especially as a single Mum (presuming dad isn't around - if he is, then I suppose you will have some time, but you'll probably spend it sleeping...).

I've just got back in contact with a guy who I've known around 7 years now, I know all his family & was a part of his network of friends for quite a while, we reconnected via OLD, I've been honest about my situation and he seems absolutely fine with it.

I guess I'm simply just missing what I HAD & stupidly & desperately trying to recreate it with someone new so the hurt of my last relationship will go a lot faster than it is.....sad aye!

I imagine any man who would even consider dating a woman who was pregnant by someone else to be warped in the extreme. Why don't you just concentrate on the poor little baby??!!

I guess I'm simply just missing what I HAD & stupidly & desperately trying to recreate it with someone new so the hurt of my last relationship will go a lot faster than it is.....sad aye!

Pregnant or not this isn't a good basis to start a relationship on. It sounds like you are not over your last relationship yet, and having a rebound thing will just cause more hurt all round. Sorry.

I guess I'm simply just missing what I HAD & stupidly & desperately trying to recreate it with someone new so the hurt of my last relationship will go a lot faster than it is.....sad aye!

Agree with PP - this is a terrible reason to start a new relationship, made worse by pregnancy hormones causing havoc with your emotions. Focus on the baby and meeting new friends. A relationship will come when it's right.

I completely agree with you kitkat, I'm trying to stay away from men so I can heal from my relationship & also learn to enjoy my own company without feeling down & depressed!

The last thing I want to do is get hurt again, I don't think I could take it right now....I'm only just becoming positive again

I agree - really awful way to start a new relationship.