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AIBU?

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Original poster

MIL & Money

27 replies

Shesthebeat · 15/12/2016 12:53

I spoke to MIL a few weekends ago on the phone and she mentioned that I needed to look out for some money being deposited into my account for DS for Christmas towards the early part of that week.

As of yet, nothing has gone into mine or DH account. I'm slightly concerned that MIL may have transferred this money to someone else in error, and thinks DH & I are being rude by not saying thank you (which of course we would!) The last few weeks have flown by so I haven't had chance to speak to MIL, she also lives around 3hrs from us so I can't just pop in and see her.

Apparently she is coming to visit next week so do I wait til then and see if she mentions it or do I just forget about it?

DH doesn't want to text or call her about it in fear of looking grabby (which of course I'm conscious of too!) i of course understand if MIL has changed her mind about giving DS money or is no longer in a position to do so but do you think she would have said if this was the case?

DS will receive more than enough from Santa Claus (me & DH) so will def not miss out.

OP posts:
Gottagetmoving · 15/12/2016 12:58

Your MIL told you to look out for it - and it has not appeared so of course you should contact her and say it has not gone into your account.

Even if she has changed her mind - How are you supposed to know that?
You should go with the last thing she said.
Your DH should be able to talk about this with his own mother, surely? How is it grabby to show concern that the money she said she was transferring is not there?

xStefx · 15/12/2016 13:00

she told you to look out for it, I would call her and just say it hasn't arrived yet and you wanted to check she had sent it to the wrong acct cos you don't want to be rude by not saying thanks, basically exactly what you have told us xx

Ilovewillow · 15/12/2016 13:01

I would definitely contact her and simply say you are worried there was a banking error which she may not be aware of. She has probably just forgotten and is eagerly awaiting a thank you!!

Original poster
Shesthebeat · 15/12/2016 13:02

I was concerned she may financially no longer be In a position to give DS money so therefore would look like I was badgering her for it!

OP posts:
PeachBellini123 · 15/12/2016 13:03

Yep contact her. Just in case of a mistake

Gottagetmoving · 15/12/2016 13:08

Why try and guess the reason? Just ask her. She is not a stranger - she is family so don't walk on eggshells.

Original poster
Shesthebeat · 15/12/2016 13:09

Suppose cos she's not my mum & the situ involves money I do feel awkward, I'm not the pushy/badgering type least of all when it comes to a situ like this!

OP posts:
Gottagetmoving · 15/12/2016 13:26

You are over thinking.
Stick to facts: MIL said look out for money in a few days. Money doesn't arrive.
I think it is really odd you would not let her know.
You are making stuff up in your mind about what she will think and how she will interpret it.
If I were her and the money had gone missing I would think you were daft not to have mentioned it after I had asked you to look ok out for it.
She may well have transferred it incorrectly and it will be a lot more difficult to sort out the longer you leave it.

Original poster
Shesthebeat · 15/12/2016 13:34

Perhaps you're right.

How do you suggest I word it to her?

OP posts:
idontlikealdi · 15/12/2016 13:39

I'd just say I was looking out for the money but it hadn't arrived. Not grabby, she told you to look out for it.

Original poster
Shesthebeat · 15/12/2016 13:43

Does this sound ok?

Hi MIL,

Are you still coming to visit next week? Just wondering what your plans are. DS is looking forward to seeing you.

I know you mentioned a few weeks ago to look out for some money being transferred into my account, as of yet nothing has come through. No problem if you've not done it, just wanted to make sure it hadn't gone to someone else in error.

????

OP posts:
Original poster
Shesthebeat · 15/12/2016 13:45

God I feel so awkward about it - pathetic I know!

OP posts:
sonjadog · 15/12/2016 13:53

Yes, send that. This is really not a big deal.

PopcornBits · 15/12/2016 14:00

Don't worry about asking I'm sure she would want to know whether you'd received it or not.
It's not your fault if she had changed her mind, she didn't let you know, how are to you know if she has.
It's always best to check these things.

Gottagetmoving · 15/12/2016 14:08

Thats sounds just right Shesthebeat

Original poster
Shesthebeat · 15/12/2016 14:08

Message sent!

OP posts:
Gottagetmoving · 15/12/2016 14:11

Let us know what happened?

Gottagetmoving · 15/12/2016 14:11

To the money...

Original poster
Shesthebeat · 15/12/2016 14:14

Will do! I know MIL is in work so prob won't get a response til later on this eve x

OP posts:
toomuchtooold · 15/12/2016 14:24

If it's any comfort, if she did get your bank details wrong it's probably just bounced back to her account.

Original poster
Shesthebeat · 15/12/2016 16:09

Well, I've had a response!

She's not transferred anything to me, as apparently she has too many outgoings and not enough incomings - but that's a whole other thread Shock

I feel like a grabby cow now Blush

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 15/12/2016 16:13

Well that's good then.
I'd just text back saying 'No problem at all. As you can imagine he'll have all sorts anyway. Looking forward to seeing you soon for a catch up.'

Gottagetmoving · 15/12/2016 19:22

I feel like a grabby cow now

You are not a grabby cow just because she changed her mind! She should have told you before now...She is the one who should feel bad for not telling you!

harderandharder2breathe · 15/12/2016 19:41

Just say back "don't worry about it then, DS will have more than enough anyway, looking forward to seeing you"

stiffstink · 15/12/2016 19:46

I'd say "no problem at all, I totally understand and had just been worried it might have gone astray. Looking forward to seeing you xxx"