Mum has been to us 18/21 Christmas Days. This year she suggested we have a different Christmas and she would stay at home (even though she'll be on her own all day), so we're going to BIL's who keeps inviting us.
So when to see her? I've suggested she could come up here Christmas Eve (after we've been to my Dad's grave which we'll do whatever), go to nativity at Church with us, then stay overnight and we'll drop her back home about noon on way to BILs. This doesn't work for her as she says she'll have to cook her lunch (which she has every day around 3pm so I don't see she hasn't got time) .The other option was all day Boxing Day, possibly staying over night.
She wants to come up early Christmas Eve and go back straight after Church. The problem with this is that I need to do a large shop first thing, last minute housework, DH will be busy wrapping/dropping things off whatever, someone normally pops in uninvited - all before lunch when I go to cemetery with Mum. We have two separate lots of friends who want to get together with us straight after Church if we don't have my Mum, but if I've got to take Mum back it doesn't really work out seeing either.
I pointed out I'd suggested Boxing Day again the other day, and she wouldn't answer me even though we know she's not doing anything else.
Do I just let her come when she wants even though she'll be sat on the settee while we catch up on everything, and I certainly won't have time to cook/do anything special which I'd do as it'll be our time with her.