Dc had been with stbx since Sunday and I was due to get them back after school/work yesterday - a long stretch because I had swapped a night at the weekend to accommodate him.
He text me at lunchtime (I'm a teacher) yesterday saying he would be taking ds1 to the football last night. It would mean ds1 staying at his an extra night. I was not happy about this and said I assumed ds1 had already been told (he has form for telling dc things are happening and then 'asking' me, giving me no real choice) and he said yes. I sent a cross, but not ranty or insulting, text asking him not to do this in future. He sent back no apology, thanks or offer of another night in the holidays, just confirmed what time he would pick him up. I didn't reply but was intending at that point for ds to go - felt I had no choice.
When I got the dc from after school club, ds1 was talking about the cubs party he had that evening and said nothing at all about football. Maybe I WBU, but I didn't mention it to him, assumed ex had lied about him knowing and took the dc out to tea to avoid being in when ex got there. Ds1 went straight to cubs from the café. I first sent a text to ex explaining ds knew nothing about it and wanted to go to cubs.
He then rang me screaming abuse (yes, it was screaming) and sent a couple of texts telling me how spiteful I am, how he'd wasted money on a ticket and how the children will hate me. This really is a new low for us and I am now worried I have made things worse for myself, though I genuinely thought ds1 hadn't been told about it and ex had been lying to force my hand. It later turned out that ds1 had been told, but had forgotten. He wasn't bothered though when he did remember as he had enjoyed cubs.
I am scared ex will get back at me by withholding the dc at some point over the holidays and I am terrified that Christmas is now ruined. He is supposed to pick them up from school on Monday and then I get them from his on Thursday, and I am so scared he will take them to his mum's (2 hours away) and turn his phone off. There is now no way we can spend Christmas day together as planned, and I feel all my plans are up in the air, despite spending so much time negotiating with him so we could all enjoy the festive season. Part of me feels he has engineered all this to ruin Christmas as he knows how much it means to me and he has always claimed to find it all ridiculous, but that is probably silly.
AIBU to hate him, or is this my own fault?
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AIBU?
WIBU not to make ds1 available for football - stbx screaming at me
84 replies
woundedplacerias · 15/12/2016 06:07
OP posts:
Fidelia ·
15/12/2016 06:31
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Fidelia ·
15/12/2016 07:03
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