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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Slightly seething

7 replies

Msqueen33 · 14/12/2016 20:51

Dh frequently works late. He prefers working at the office as it's easier he says and he can get more done. We've got three kids aged 8-4 and the younger two have autism. Youngest is especially hard to settle to sleep and frequently wakes up. I'm a sahm due to the kids disabilities.

Today I'm mainly hacked off as I've been up since half four. I took the youngest to bed and came down about half seven and my dh was home. Great I thought. But no he announced he was off out to do his hobby but he'd get the kids into bed. But no he dumps them upstairs, tells them if they come down they'll get a smack (apparently we need to take a harder line with them que eye roll from me) and saunters out the door. Middle one has already been down twice and really desperately needs to sleep. I'm not surprised at his selfishness (he goes out about half seven - for work manages to sort himself, messes about on his phone etc so I'm left doing). But AIBU to be annoyed? He literally told me tonight he'd be out. I don't have an issue with him going out but I'd prefer not to have the kids just shoved into bed and left.

OP posts:
SleightOfMind · 14/12/2016 21:02

That's terrible!
DH works from the office while I work from home most of the week. We have 4 'easy' children and take turns - one doing bath and bed, while the other clears up downstairs & preps for the morning.
If I swanned back in from my day at the office, bathed the kids and told them to Stay, then fucked off, DH would be rightly furious.

That was for context but every partnership is different in how we divvy up the woakload. The key thing is that it's fair and we treat each other with kindness.
Does your DH's behaviour feel at all fair and kind to you OP?

Msqueen33 · 14/12/2016 21:18

Honestly I feel a lot of the time it's selfish. But the problem is getting him to see it. In his mind he's all good, hard working family man.

OP posts:
NavyandWhite · 14/12/2016 21:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pumpkintopf · 14/12/2016 21:43

Sounds like he's taking the piss. When do you get time out to do your hobby??

Allthewaves · 14/12/2016 21:49

Has he been to asd parenting classes. They were a real eye opener for my dh.

Msqueen33 · 14/12/2016 21:51

Trouble is he's never home to do anything.

No he's not really involved in the asd or education side to be honest.

OP posts:
NavyandWhite · 14/12/2016 22:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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