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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Fostering a relative's child

28 replies

OnMountains · 14/12/2016 19:59

I've done a username change for this to protect identities. I will not be posting any information about the child other than to say they have a child in need plan

A direct relative (sibling) of mine has a non-biological child that is their partners. The situation is dire. I am considering contact the child's social worker and offering to look after the child until such a time that the home becomes stable, if that times comes.

Because the child is already known to social services I cannot be a family and friends carer without involving social services. I have no fear of social services, however, I have a mental health condition that my family are unaware of (PTSD). I found this information on a website (below):

"The social worker might want to make some checks on you before the child moves. This would be so that the social worker could feel sure that it would be safe for the child to live with you."

Please could someone tell me what checks these are?

Please could someone tell me if PTSD is going to automatically stop them from looking at me as a potential for looking after the child? Or whether it would be something that was viewed as "workable with (maybe with me satisfying some points)"? Would type of thing would they look for?

Please could someone also tell me, if this went to a child at need meeting (I think this is the term) and was discussed, would my PTSD be made public to the family (this is not a deciding factor, I just want to know whether my medical information will be kept confidential from my family members)?

The AIBU comes in because I am just trying to see if this would be viewed as totally unreasonable by social workers, or, after giving it some more thought, I should put my name forwards.

OP posts:
OnMountains · 23/12/2016 17:16

pklme Thanks - yes I have a support network, although I haven't really discussed this with many people (best friend knows).

Would social services tell me about diagnosis' child may have? I wasn't sure if they share information with me regarding the child or not.

Forgot to mention as well they are going to do a home assessment to make sure it's suitable for the child. I am guessing this is standard procedure though and not due to the PTSD. Not overly worried about it but will do some research to find out what it actually entails.

OP posts:
OnMountains · 23/12/2016 17:56

slkk Sorry - missed your comment. Yes, thank you. I do fully understand that it is not likely to be temporary. I am not sure I am fully appreciating the emotional and physical aspects of it as I have never ever experienced anything like this before - trying to get to grasp with them though.

OP posts:
pklme · 23/12/2016 18:30

Home assessment is totally standard. They will also ask some pretty searching questions about relationships- it's to help you understand the child better, and also to make sure that you are able to sustain stable relationships yourself. The children need you to be able to do that.

They won't tell you about diagnoses necessarily, but would tell you whether the child's behaviour is challenging or not. You need to know, for example, if they do not sleep much or need constant physical activity. It may become challenging in future, even if not now. It depends how chaotic home life has been. I had one with big food issues for example.

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