AIBU - The Dr should do something?? Mum, dementia, crisis!

[birdybirdbird]

Have lurked a lot in AIBU but first time posting - really need the traffic and the advice! This is probably very outing if anyone I know in RL sees it but oh well...

My Mum has dementia and also other mental health issues (bi polar), epilepsy and a long list of other issues. Her memory has really deteriorated recently and currently desperately trying to get social services to step up - she still lives by herself, hundreds of miles away from me, not even a daily carer, run up huge debts, not really caring for herself etc etc.

Anyway, over past couple of weeks she's been increasingly aggressive to neighbour - going round, shouting and swearing at them. Today she did the same and actually grabbed their very young child - hurting and scaring them. Nighbour rang me - I got onto 111. They basically told me that I couldn't report my concern about her as I wasn't actually there to witness it (neighbour couldn't report as Mum was was round there again, although this time was calm!). Told me to ring GP. Which I did and they said they would send on call Dr out to her and I should call back for an update. Except, when I called back actually "No - he isn't going round. He will phone her first as she's been aggressive and then determine whether or not he needs to go round. Oh and our phone lines close now so..." And that was the end of the conversation.

Now I totally get he needs to make sure he will be safe from harm BUT, AIBU that I expect them to do something?? That she really needs some medical investigation (sectioning??) to investigate the cause of her sudden personality change and aggression? And for me to able to speak to someone and find out what is happening? Or do I have rely on the word of my Mum who can't even remember going round to neighbours in the first place?!

Any advice gladly received!

Wow, thank you for all the advice and support that appeared over night!

To answer a few questions:
Yes - I am only family she has. without dredging up my entire childhood, our relationship is far from a good/happy one. I think that's part of the reason I'm finding this so hard. I don't want to list all the reasons why (would put me even more!) but I'm not in a position where I could drop everything to go and stay with her, nor her coming to stay with me.

Yes she a formal bipolar diagnosis and dementia (it's a form called korsakoffs - caused by historic alcohol abuse)
A mental health nurse visited this week. His report will reflect that it's her memory, rather than her bipolar, that is the most significant issue and that she needs a level of care.

She doesn't have any assets - in fact has racked up a ton of debt in the last 2 months. I had sorted the last ton of debt for her, organised an extra bank account etc. I thought she understood but clearly didn't. We jointly own the house - my grandparents owned her house and when they died it was put 50:50. I have no qualms about selling it and using this to fund care. But a sale will take forever where she lives! I can't afford to fund private care in the meantime.

I think my best hope is that something else happens and the police are called. What an awful to thing to say about your own mother but I can't really see another way through this.

Thanks for your update.

Call SS and ask for an URGENT community care assessment.
They can liaise with her CPN/mental health team.

Korsakoff's is infamous for people sometimes quite suddenly 'going off'.
I am so sorry that you find yourself in this very difficult situation.

If a community mental health nurse visited last week, I would contact them and discuss/ask for advice. They might be able to guide you and should get more involved. They need to be visiting regularly. Your mum is a vulnerable adult. When you speak to professionals use the trigger words like vulnerable and safeguarding. Be persistent.
Korsakoffs is a difficult condition and rapid changes are common so I would hope her GP would be getting involved now but unfortunately if she doesn't have a good one they might be somewhat lacking.

agree with Rosie I'm suprised the cpn hasn't stepped things up a gear following this incident - get on to them maybe they haven't got time to wait do the ss assessment now given the circumstances and they need to speak to the consultant re a visit for mental health act assessment. Or at least should be upping their visits to monitor - does your mum engage well with them? Have they noticed a deterioration? (apart from the neighbour incident)