AIBU to not want a massage from DP's friend?

[PsychedelicSheep]

DP has kindly paid for his friend to give me a massage, he is properly trained but doesn't practice professionally, it would be at my home. The thing is I don't think I want it from him and would prefer someone I didn't know and wouldn't have to see again. I'm not sure that I'm gonna feel very relaxed and it might be something I endure rather than enjoy which kind of defeats the point of a massage? At the same time I don't want to appear rude to him or ungrateful to DP 😕

Ive met the guy and he seems like a nice enough bloke (if slightly odd in a harmless way) but I'm just not sure I want him massaging me! Because he's DP's friend I feel like I'd be so focused on what I looked/sounded/felt like that it would just be an ordeal!

Am I being weird do you think? Or a rude ungrateful bitch? It's not like me to have hang ups about stuff like this but I'm definitely really feeling like I don't want this massage from him. Would you feel uncomfortable in this situation do you think??

Not at all!

I'd be very uncomfortable, especially as he isn't practicing day to day and so wouldn't be a common occurrence. Was it a gift for any reason?

Fuck no! YADNBU. I couldn't relax either. Admittedly though I am picturing DH's best mate in this scenario and he isn't my favourite person...

I'd feel uncomfortable. I'd only want a complete stranger giving me a (proper, paid for) massage.

That would be so very awkward! Your DP arranging his colleague to massage you sounds a bit like a plot from a dodgy romance. It's not like finding someone to install windows or do your tax returns.

YANBU, that would be cringey to endure.

YANBU. I did the same thing for my DP years ago, had my friend give him a massage paid for by me. He accepted it, turns out just so he didn't offend anyone, but he did not enjoy it and said he just felt weird throughout.

Does this guy do anything like Indian head massage, or perhaps just a head, shoulders and neck massage so it doesn't feel quite so personal?

on your side about this, OP.

Ha, it does sound like a dodgy porno set up the way I've described it!

For context, DP suffers with his back/neck/shoulders/everything and a sense such has regular massages, usually from a professional. He and this friend have done a bit of bartering of some sort and the massages are payment in kind, (not sure for what). DP had one from him the other night but he doesn't find it awkward. He obviously has a different attitude to this sort of thing!

I haven't actually expressed an interest or a need for a massage at all, think DP just thought it might be nice for me. Nope!

I'd not be comfortable at all either.

Head neck and shoulders would be fine. Anything involving taking clothes off, no!

It's not Brian the Yoni massager from Hull?

Hahaha! No thank god!

Dear Lord, no! What was your dp thinking? Swerve this one OP.

Thanks so much for the validation! I felt like I was the weirdo for finding it weird!

Anyone else now imagining a random sample of their DP's mates giving them a full body massage? Arrrrgggghhh! Glad you feel confident with a polite refusal OP.

Not unreasonable at all, my friend used to give massages and no way would I have let her massage me. Same with leg waxing, I go to someone I don't know and not friends.

No NUbat all. Just get your dp to have the massage himself and he can buy you another one with a proper more suitable therapist if you still need one.

Noting more I relaxing than a dodgy massage even if they know what they are doing. Like getting your kit off with anyone you know in another setting,mits just weird.

A very close friend is a a trained masseuse, and by all accounts very good, she has often offered to give me massages, but I have always declined. Just one of those things, I want the people touching me to either be total strangers or people with whom I am already on skin sharing terms if you see what I mean. Halfway doesn't do it for me.

Nope, yanbu- I'd rather have a stranger or someone I was very close to, than an acquaintance.

If you manage to swerve, can you please help with the kind offers we receive from DP's stepfather when he is a guest in our house?

He tends to ask "why not?" if you say no thank you....

OMG eyelevel. That is creepy as hell. He has offered on numerous occasions? What does stepmother make of his generous offers to touch your naked body while you lie vulnerable and passive?

Your partner is only being polite in letting his friends all have a rub.

MIL is all for it. Naked is an exagerration!

They are foreign.... he sees it as being therapeutic. That means everyone else has to as well.....

Oh god eyelevelgrill that sounds horrendous 😣 it's not as if I'm some sort of prude or anything, it's just fucking odd!