SS involvement in Pregnancy

[HappyHappyHappy1]

Hello, so I am pretty anxious to know what's going on, sorry if this isn't the place however I know il get replies quite quick on here.

I was referred to SS 3 weeks ago simply because my ex was abusive (mentally), however I've heard NOTHING from SS at all. No calls and no letters.
I am currently 23 weeks pregnant, I did check with the mental health nurse I saw yesterday and asked if it was because they don't get involved until 24 weeks however she said no, that they take referrals from 16 weeks and if concerned will contact straight away, the nurse thinks it's a great thing SS haven't been in contact.

Still bloody worried though, does anyone know why I haven't been contacted yet??

Don't bother with the cms.

They are useless at dealing with fathers who want to avoid payments.

Save yourself the hassle and forget about him altogether.

Oh, I've heard good success stories in regards to CMS, also I thought I'd have a better chance because my ex has a very good job which he is currently studying at college to further his career so I've no worries about him leaving it so he doesn't have to pay.
He also pays practically nothing out each month so I thought I'd have a very good case.

It can be avoided by the truly determined who will become self employed and then hide their income, or give up work altogether and live off the next poor sucker, but most dont to be honest. You only hear of the horror stories but not the thousands for whom it does work.

Are you actually married to your ex?

My ex threatened to leave his job if I claimed however, I told him it wouldn't deter me. I'd feel it quite hilarious if he put himself onto benefits simply to get out of paying £2500 a year to his child, seeing as he earns 10x more than that!

He'd had to take his car off the road
Couldn't afford takeaways
Would be sanctioned for 8 weeks before he received any money
Couldn't pay his dogs insurance
Buy food or his expensive clothes.

If he knows what's good for him, he'll just cough up without a fight

Luckily for me, nope we aren't married...nor financially tied.

If you are referred to ss work alongside them. If the referral is due to dvd, you will find they close the case very quickly once they are assured that you are not getting back together with the abusive party.

Don't worry about it. Whoever referred you is being a little bit over zealous. Unless there is anything else not mentioned in this thread then don't worry. Was there a Marac? If so the referral is standard however the SOcial care won't touch it until you are 28 weeks (if I remember rightly and rules are still the same). Don't worry about it. You're 'in a system' but unlikely to stay in it.

Just document everything so if ex comes back and you need to make contact arrangements then you can evidence abuse and support you've had (for what it's worth 🙄 Bloody system)

Take care and enjoy your pregnancy

Re read thread. DV service referred you. Unless you have other children she is concerned about them referring you at this stage of a pregnancy is a waste of everyone's time.

You've not heard anything because Social Care would've refused the referral 🙄.

(Speaking as a former professional in DV and Chldrens Services)

Oh, I was told that people get referred from 16 weeks.

The referral hasn't actually been made yet, she said she would but when I called, they had nothing on their system.

I'm waiting to speak to her so she can clarify just what is going on.

I don't expect to hear my my ex now, depending how I feel I may not claim money from him.

Time will tell.

In my job I make SS referrals. A social worker advised me that they often don't get in touch with the families referred - in 2/3 cases the info is just put on file so they can add to it if further referrals / information is received later. I'm in London, the ratio may vary around the country, but I was advised it's quite normal to hear nothing

All is well!

I contacted the woman who referred me, she did send it however as me & the ex are not together anymore.... they've no concerns & shut the case!

Great news, OP. I'm not surprised, but I know that that is not the kind of threat I would want hanging over me, either.

Thanks all, I'm so bloody relieved!

I was so worried she'd forgot to send the referral and I'd be ringing her to basically remind her!

Glad it's all sorted and I don't have to worry over xmas about it, can start the new year afresh and look forward not back!