Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To Feel Let Down by my Friends?

2 replies

Remm89 · 14/12/2016 00:40

Been feeling really blue today and it's to do with my closest group of girl mates…..and I need to know AIBU?

We all met at University over 10 years ago as freshers. Time as ticked on….graduations, engagements and marriage for 4 of them and loads of boy, work and life drama etc …. but up until about a year ago I would have said they were the best mates anybody could wish for.

About 3 years ago I moved to a town about 100 miles away from where we all met at Uni for work (sent or you're fired situation) and my boyfriend moved with me. Two of the mates made the journey and stayed for a weekend but the others couldn't make it for one reason or another.

I made the effort to travel back multiple times over the following 2 years….birthdays, engagement parties, hen dos, weddings…… and the girls suggested we do another weekend at mine. I was delighted! Everybody confirmed a date about 3 months away and I started planning…..food, drinks, decorations…. and saved a bit of money towards it as I wanted to make a fuss of them.

About 10 days before the event one of the girls messaged me saying she wasn't able to come and didn't really give a reason. I was upset but thought that as the other 6 were coming it didn't matter too much….but slowly but surely over the next week 4 more dropped out. I was so upset and tried to put on a happy face when the 2 who came rocked up but as the drinks flowed I told them how upset I was. They told me that the first girl booked gig tickets a few weeks ago only a few weeks before but didn't think it was a big deal. I tried to shrug it off in front of them but as soon as they left to go home I broke down into tears. I was so upset that I was so excited and she clearly didn't care.

Anyway….I have tried to continue to make an effort with the same circle of mates over the last year. Couple more weddings and parties but all with me travelling the 100 miles (roughly £80 a pop on the train) which I don't mind but now I've messaged them again about coming to stay at mine…. several of them just haven't even replied!

I am going back to the university town for Christmas and had arranged to meet one of them for lunch on the 23rd Dec. Really looking forward to this :) We planned it about a month ago but today she has messaged me saying I have to meet her near her house at 9am as she wants to drive home early. I tried explaining I won't be able to make it before 11am as I have several hours of travel to do myself but she just expects me to do it.

AIBU?!?? I feel like I'm going mad! Up until last year I would have done anything for these girls but now I feel like I am being taken for a ride. Any thoughts warmly welcome :)

OP posts:
ohlalalalalalalala · 14/12/2016 01:03

i dont think YABU, however what i have found as i grow older is we change, we grow up and grow out of eachother. It is so sad, but a fact of life. I work full time, as does DH. we have 2 kids in full time child care - often the last thing i want to do at the weekend is go out with friends. i want to lock my door, turn my back on the world and be with my family. if i have a weekend out, then essentially i dont spend time with my kids for 12 days!
its not unreasonable to expect that once in a while you plan in advance so you can be together, but i get why people have dropped out. they may have financial issues, problems with kids / marraige, whatever.

Its so hard, and like i say very sad, but reality is life moves on xx

MadHattersWineParty · 14/12/2016 09:19

It's hard OP but I think some of them have just moved on- it's a big group and although it was lovely to imagine you'd all get together on special weekends and dinners for years and years to come the reality is you might now only all get together at weddings. Sad I know, but the friends I spend the most time with now are not the friends I had at uni.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page