To feel stupidly anxious when someone I know has a baby?

[NapQueen]

Like literally has just had a baby.

Until I get the "mother and baby doing wel" or similar style message I always feel tense and on edge.

The new parents have got way more shit to deal with getting to grips with a new baby and I get it - I've had two of my own.

I just can't help this nervous "I hope all is well" feeling until it's actually confirmed.

I don't message beyond the congratulatory type thing but (eg) a friend sent a pic of her newborn 2 days ago bloody gorgeous. No message just a pic. I reploed with my congrats and hope all is well. And I know IABU but there has still been no update on sex/weight/mother doing well etc.

I don't even know why I started this thread tbh as I know IABU. It's the only area I ever get any anxiety in.

I've heard of too many stillborns recently so when I hear a friend who lives away (I lived abroad a long time so a lot of my friends are around the globe) is pregnant and then hear nothing for ages I'm always terrified of asking has the baby arrived or even how is the pregnancy going until they mention it.

It's such a tense time.

Another friend is also a little on pins about this particular newborn and when she said how nerve wracking it can be waiting for news I reminded her of the time she went in to deliver her son and nobody heard a peep out of her for 3 days.

She was in a blissful love bubble of snuggles while the rest of her friends we were all just wanting to know she was safe and well. Didn't even need to know if the baby had arrived. Just that she was well.

Yes I can relate. It can very nerve-wracking. Luckily my freind daughter has had her baby safety. Which I delighted over.

Yes, when dh told me his brothers partner was in labour I couldn't sleep that night. I was on edge thinking I hope they are both ok. Got a photo the next day congratulated them but didn't get a reply. Then the next evening had about 20 pictures sent about 11.30 at night . I'm pregnant with my 3rd so that may have been why I was on edge more.

Your nbur. Yes I can relate

I think that's rather sweet and caring actually.

This is why Ive always been vague about my due date and don't tell anyone apart from family when I go into labour. Also when I got my c section date for baby number 2, I refused to tell anyone the date as I didn't want them all discussing or knowing it was happening

I worry mildly since I had DS1 in a long labour, EMCS then some (fortunately short lived) complications.

Due to the length of early labour overlapping with family making routine weekend phone calls word got out. (I was nearing the admission stage and finding it hard to keep quiet). Everyone then stewed when it was well into the next afternoon before there was an announcement. There wasn't any good news to share prior to that even if it was on our minds! It was definitely better second time when only the person looking after DS1 knew. Fortunately it was much quicker, and a night time delivery was off people's radars.

Personally wouldn't share news of the pregnancy beyond the people I absolutely have to (work, immediate family). Too many things can go wrong.

My neighbour was due with first babies, twins. She made it early to 37 weeks and then her house was basically shut up for about three weeks. I was terrified for her and kept imagining all the awful reasons why they might not be there.

Turned out they'd gone straight to her mum's after the babies were born, for a couple of weeks of help.

I was waaaaaaay overinvested. They seemed mildly surprised when I said, 'Oh I was a bit worried!' but the grandparents understood me, I think.

Yanbu to worry, but if the new mother is sending pics think it's OK to assume she and the baby are alright!