AIBU not to invite a girl to my wedding if I invited her to hen night?

[Candlestickchick]

I'm getting married in May, my friend in August. We know each other from work but we were friends as well as colleagues, and moved in together for a couple of years until she moved down South to a new job a couple of years ago.

Since then she's been a bit crap at staying in touch and replying to messages which I have found annoying but I thought fair enough she's probably busy, and when I've seen her at parties and weddings it has been lovely to see her.

Today our mutual friend at work was talking to me about the save the date to this girl's wedding. Thing is, I haven't had it! I would have said I was at least as close to her as this girl she is inviting and we hung out a lot out of work as a three. Although I'm inviting quite a few people whose wedding I've not been invited to as I know everyone has different numbers/budgets, with this girl in the context of her general crapness since she's moved away, has made me take it as a bit of a snub.

So I don't want to invite her to mine anymore and our invites haven't gone out yet... but the problem is she was invited to my hen (not that she bothered to respond one way or the other to the email). I know that it is horrible etiquette to invite someone to a hen, and not then invite them to to wedding, so WIBU in this case not to send an invitation to her and her fiancé?

I wouldn't invite her! No chance.

It's your wedding, don't invite her if you don't want to.

Usually invite to hen = invite to wedding but in this case I wouldn't bother. She hasn't invited you or even bothered to reply to the hen invite so you can probably take that as an indication she isn't that bothered.

I wouldn't invite her she cba to respond about a hen night ,ñ its a shame friendship seems to have fizzled out

If she didn't bother to reply to your email/come to your hen party/invite you to her wedding then you already have your answer.

YANBU not to invite her to your wedding.

I wouldn't invite her to your wedding since she didn't bother to respond to the hen party invitation. If she had actually made the effort to attend the hen party I'd feel differently. If she asks why she didn't receive an invite just say you had to re-evaluate the numbers at the last minute due to venue restrictions, budget or whatever. But let's face it she won't ask because she seems to be letting the friendship slide.

don't bother to invite, she's not that bothered with you it seems

Has then hen happened yet?

Thank you everyone for your responses!

crunchymum hen hasn't happened yet, it's next spring but my maid of honour sent invitation email in September. I don't mind her not coming - I get that hens are a pain in the arse to go to - but don't think it would have killed her to take 30 seconds to reply to say she couldn't make it.

It would be in the back of my mind that her invite might have got lost. Can you get your mutual friend to check with her if you are going somehow?

Was there a deadline for replying to the email about the hen? If it's not until spring she might still think she's got plenty of time to reply?

Has she passed they rsvp time for the hen?

Are you sure everyone invited got a save the date card? It wasn't just the day guess? Or that yours went awol? That you're not invited to her evening do?

Because youre not inviting her to the wedding for the simple fact you think she may not have invited you. And you could be wrong. So yes, I'd be the bigger person and invite her.

Oh for goodness sake are you five? Invite people you want to celebrate with, it's not an exercise involving spreadsheets and reciprocal invitations.

I was invited to a hen do and not to the wedding. I was surprised but I got over it.

I was going to say YABU, until I got to the part about her not replying. You can do without the bother of her not replying to the wedding invitation. If she had accepted, that would be different.