AIBU to be annoyed by crap presents from kids Dad and his family?

[OopsDearyMe]

Every year without fail my exh and the children's dad or his family, buy the most awful things, my youngest also gets wings for much older kids and can't play with them, the girls get stuff clearly re gifted or tat from a charity shop bargain bin. DD1 once got a used donut maker with oil and old food scraps on it for her birthday.
There Dad also only ever buys one cheap present, compared to the pile I am expected to buy to fill their sacks.
Just once I would like it to be equal.

That's really sad. Poor kids.

All you can do is be the better person. Donate all the junk a few days after Christmas, the stuff they won't want or miss. Cheer them up. They'll love for taking the higher ground and not compounding how bad they might feel with any more negativity.

who is expecting you to buy a pile to fill the sacks?

I've been doing wrapping this week. Fluffy pyjamas and onesies are absolutely enormous wrapped - the volume of £50-worth of toys, easily. Ditto the enormous hoodies my 8yo is obsessed with. If you're determined to fill the sacks then shop clever.

I agree with pp that you ought to examine this expectation - where it is coming from?

Why not separate their dad's shit presents from your well-chosen ones? Why let him take the credit?

You don't need to be buying a pile.

Why not ask ex to go halves with you on a main present if his aren't up to scratch?

Do you get much maintenance? Maybe he feels that he has contributed to the "pile" via maintenance. (Disclaimer- I am not saying this is either the case or acceptable - but maybe it is what he feels).

My ex didn't get our DDs anything last year. The girls didn't even mention it because they know what he is like already at 10&8 and they both know how they don't need him. He is a waste of space. At the moment it is 6 weeks since he made any contact with them. He will regret it when they are older because they are fantastic kids and a pleasure to know.

I have never talked negatively about him in front of them and I encourage and arrange for them to send him a gift/card. It's no surprise that they call my DH Papa, he's more of a dad than their biological father ever has been.

In short, the kids have a great mum and they will know that. Their dad will regret his decision to neglect their relationship as they grow into adults.

Xx

There are some totally crap fathers around. It is so hurtful for you and your children - in many ways buying crap is worse than saying "Sorry - I'm skint, with an IOU for a day at the park when the weather improves. It just shows a total lack of love or even respect.

They're lucky they have you.

I never got a birthday card or christmas card from my dad growing up.

shrugs

Are you doing xmas together?

Make sure the children are aware that the tat is from daddy.

Don't fill up sacks buy what you can afford for your DC and make it nice and a really lovely time for being together.

I don't go overboard myself and when I say fill the sacks, I don't by any means mean with over expensive crap. What I don't he is that the tradition both our families is a sack of presents, when we were together he helped buy this. But now its like an after thought. He at least has an excuse as he has mild learning difficulties, but his parents have none as they are carers and all the other grandchildren are spoilt rotten.
I guess I aka stickler for equal parenting and fed up of taking the lions share, as for maintainance I get £5 per child a month.