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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

about this person phoning me/ calling at my house?

76 replies

mangoparfait · 12/12/2016 18:45

Brief background - recently I put in an insurance claim for some damage to my home. The insurers instructed loss adjusters who said they'd send someone out. Apparently they did, although I wasn't aware (the damage is externally visible so they could see it without coming in to the house. The Loss Adjusters then said the works were all agreed, and asked me to send payment of my excess.

Because the details were a bit vague (I asked them for more info, they said I should contact my insurers) I emailed insurers to ask for confirmation of what was going on, and about the excess - as they'd previously told me to pay when the work was done, or to them. Just wanted to get a clear picture!) Anyway, this was a couple of weeks ago, the insurers have changed handler so they've not come back to me. The damage isn't getting worse, nor likely to, and is not causing any issue to me, so with Xmas and everything I've been really busy and not chased it.

Last week I had several missed calls from an unknown no/ mobile no I didn't recognise. These continued over the weekend, plus another couple today. No voicemail. Over the weekend I was out both mornings; my younger DC advised someone had rung the doorbell / knocked both mornings (DC hadn't answered). Elder DC happened to be at home this morning when there was a knock again. Turns out this and all the phone calls were from the contractor who the Loss Adjusters had apparently instructed, as he wanted to start the work...

I have raised this with the Adjusters, who just said as they hadn't heard from me, they told him to contact me direct.

But they'd not told me he would be contacting me or even who he was. And even then I rather think turning up at someone's house 3 days on the trot is a bit much? Is it just me? I'm a single parent and feel really uncomfortable with this, and with this man who thinks he can just come round anytime now being the one who does the work. However the adjusters clearly think I'm making a fuss about nothing - AIBU?

OP posts:

RedHelenB · 12/12/2016 18:49

A bit yes. Phone him up and agree a date to get the work done. Or ask the insurance company what pay out they would give you to find your own person to do the job.

SnatchedPencil · 12/12/2016 18:52

No, you are not being unreasonable. It doesn't take much for them to write a letter to tell you what is happening. Lots of people don't answer withheld numbers.

But... I don't think there is any bad intention behind it. The loss adjusters just think that they've agreed everything and so believe they are being helpful by getting things sorted out as soon as they can.

Like I say, you are perfectly within your rights to feel as you do - it's your home and anything that makes you feel slightly vulnerable is not very nice. But I don't think they are being deliberately malicious; they're just not going about the process of getting your place sorted in a way that you (and many others) wouldn't particularly like.

Original poster

mangoparfait · 12/12/2016 18:53

I'll be honest that I don't want to speak to him. I feel quote intimidated by him coming to my house.

I have flagged it to my insurers, and asked them as well as the details of exactly what is to be done (which I'm still waiting for), whether this is something they would normally instruct a contractor to do, and where I'd stand appointing someone else (bit difficult to do at present as I have no details of what they're actually doing, or the cost!)

OP posts:

SnatchedPencil · 12/12/2016 18:56

Sorry about the double-negative, they're just not going about the process of getting your place sorted in a way that you (and many others) wouldn't particularly like. Fixed!

They are treating you as a job rather than thinking of you as an individual. A lot of companies are like that. They don't mean it to be personal, to them it's just another task of many that they have to get through in their working day. But that doesn't mean it's wrong for you to feel as you do.

treaclesoda · 12/12/2016 19:12

Obviously this has annoyed you but if I'm honest I do think you're being unreasonable. The reason he came three days in a row was to try to speak to you. You hadn't answered calls, so how else could he contact you but to call in person? There is unlikely to be any ill intent here. Most people want their repairs done immediately, and there is a lot of criticism of insurance companies who delay. It's just how these things tend to work.

greenfolder · 12/12/2016 19:22

The loss adjusters should have told you who was going to do the work. But i wouldnt cut your nose off to spite your face. Its hard to find people to do work and presumably your insurers will guarantee the work. If its external presumably they can get on with it whilst you are not there.

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 12/12/2016 19:25

I really don't get people on MN sometimes. Not answering the phone and not answering the door.

I think YABU the guy is doing a job and knocked on your door. Why is that intimidating?

Pollyanna9 · 12/12/2016 19:30

I am a single parent with two children in my home and I HATE people coming to the door, I do not answer the door at night when it's dark. I have to be security for my home and I take that seriously.

No one should have arranged for a contractor to call round to do work if they hadn't been able to get in touch with OP they should have delayed the start of any work. Presumably they are able to write and post a letter or send a flippin' email?!

How can they send him round without OP knowing what they intend to do - I wouldn't be having it OP. I'd tell them to stop everything and let you know the flaming details for starters before they send random men to the house.

Do try and understand some of you, some of don't like unexpected visitors - is it too much of a stretch of the imagination that some women (and I'm not saying you OP and it doesn't apply to me either) but that some women might have reasons for not liking that, can you possibly think what that might be?

Many many people don't answer unknown numbers.

ijustwannadance · 12/12/2016 19:31

Sorry but you are being ridiculous.
The man is just trying to do his bloody job.

DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease · 12/12/2016 19:34

I think yabu. He called and knocked for you three days on the trot in order to contact you to move the job on. How else could he have behaved?

I don't like answering my phone or door to strangers but reserve feeling sniffy or like my space is being invaded to people making unsolicited sales calls, rather than someone trying to work on something that I have requested be fixed.

Quartz2208 · 12/12/2016 19:36

He has been booked in for a job by your insurers and is now trying to complete said job to get paid - why on earth

Is it under buildings insurance - if so it is common for them to send out contractors to do the work and fix it rather than telling you the cost surely its better that they send someone to do the work rather than giving you an amount and then you have to find someone yourself.

Why on earth dont you just ring him and sort it out between you - he is a contractor

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 12/12/2016 19:38

Put a chain on and use it instead of not answering the door. Seriously do you live in a war zone? It's dark now between 4pm and 8am!

I'm not a single parent but there are times when I'm alone. I still open the door. I don't even use the chain all the time which I guess means I don't care about our safety.

Cherrysoup · 12/12/2016 19:38

Yabu. How is this bloke supposed to contact you if you won't pick up the phone? How is he intimidating you by coming round to do the work? Can't get my head round this! Just pick up the phone/answer the door, blimey!

Atenco · 13/12/2016 00:15

I really don't get people on MN sometimes. Not answering the phone and not answering the door

Another one who can't understand this, what a way to live.

Atenco · 13/12/2016 00:17

And I say having been a single mother living in a very rough part of town, it never crossed my mind not to answer my door, unless it was at some ridiculous time of night.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 13/12/2016 00:22

The problem would have been solved a lot quicker if the bloke had just left a message, stating the situation, and leaving a number for OP to get back to him. Better than the repeated attempts to contact.

BewtySkoolDropowt · 13/12/2016 00:27

Yep, you may have been aware that they would need to get in touch, if you didn't answer the phone then clearly coming along the house is another option. Writing to you would take two or three days to get to you, and with your lack of response to phone calls they would have no way of knowing that you would respond.

Are they supposed to just hope that you psychically know to get in touch with them? What on earth do you want them to do? How many times is it accruals to phone with no response before coming to your door?

SpidersFromMars · 13/12/2016 00:33

Do you have a voicemail facility? That he chose not to use? If so YWNBU

leapyearbaby · 13/12/2016 00:50

Not being unreasonable at all. I don't answer unknown numbers and though I answer the door it's via a phone and I would never dream of letting someone unexpected in to do something as yet unclarified. Those of you who would I think are taking pointless risks.
He could've and should've left a voicemail. And a number. OP could then check with the insurers and then make a plan with him. Insurers should've let her know they'd handed her number out and to be prepared for the call.

Letters msg take days but emails don't. Serious lack of communication here and NOT on OP's part.

happymumof4crazykids · 13/12/2016 01:20

Ott much? The man is trying to do his job. Why not just let him?

Original poster

mangoparfait · 13/12/2016 01:30

He could have left a voicemail. I don't answer withheld numbers, or indeed numbers I don't know. I have done in the past and they are always unsolicited sales calls. If I get a call from a withheld no, I let it go to voicemail. If (rarely) it is actually someone calling for a genuine reason, they leave a voicemail. He didn't.

Also it doesn't matter what the adjusters want. They can't do anything until I pay the excess, and I've been waiting for clarification from my insurers before I do that. So getting or allowing some random to come round and bang on my door at a weekend isn't appropriate. As I've not authorised my details to be passed to him, and certainly not for this purpose, I'm told it's potentially a breach of DPA.

Answering the door: I do answer my door. But I wasn't here to do so!!

This guy pitched up at 9am Sat and 10am Sun, and at 10am today. The first 2 occasions the only one here was my younger DC, who doesn't answer the door when home alone. I was out. Today I was at work, my older DC happened to be at home. But for my DC being here, as I work every day and am often out at weekends, he could have been banging on my door for weeks. Nonsense. All the adjusters had to do was send an email, or contact my insurers. Not instruct some bloke to call unannounced repeatedly at my house.

OP posts:

Sneery · 13/12/2016 01:36

Sorry but I also think you are being unreasonable and difficult. He tried calling you and he has tried to knock in your door. I don't think that's intimidating, perhaps if you spoke to him he could explain what was happening.

Original poster

mangoparfait · 13/12/2016 01:53

I didn't know he was calling me, most of the missed calls were withheld (I assume from what he said to my DC that was him, but I don't know) plus I don't sit on my phone. Any calls during the day I'm rarely able to answer anyway as I'm at work and busy. Hence why people have voicemail.

And of course I wasn't expecting anyone to be trying to contact me, as the loss adjusters hadn't told me they'd passed on my details...

OP posts:

UnconventionalWarfare · 13/12/2016 02:23

Poor bloke is trying to arrange getting YOUR property fixed and all you can seem to do is make life as difficult as possible and no it isnt a breach of the DPA you gave them permission to do this when you agreed to their terms and conditions.

trolleyoffthelolly · 13/12/2016 02:35

I think you do need to give a bit. I don't answer unknown numbers because I can't be arsed to deal with people trying to sell me stuff. Big but though, I absolutely do if I know someone is likely to be trying to contact me about something I know about or have requested. You know that this guy needs to speak to you, there's nothing to be gained by making it difficult for him.

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