Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

To expect DPs to get taxi rather than us making huge long out of way journey

42 replies

rookiemere · 12/12/2016 17:54

I suspect AIBU, but its safer to vent here than elsewhere.

Lots of backstory which I won't bore you with, but effectively elderly DPs have asked us to drive them somewhere which is 2hrs out of our way whilst we are on holiday.

I phoned up a local cab firm and got a great fare offered of £40(its not a 2 hr drive, it's just because of where we are and where we want to be) . They ummed and ahhed and said what a great expense £40 was. I would happily pay it myself as we have limited time, but it seems a bit silly to offer as they seriously have loads of money, but just can't seem to get their head around the cost of things.

I know that I should just be the bigger person and suck it up as they are extremely generous to us, and in the end after speaking to them, we've come up with a solution that means we'll only be 1.5 hrs out of our way . But I guess I'm just annoyed about the generational thing - they don't seem to appreciate that we have very limited time off and we're already going to be spending about 7 hrs travelling with them the day before, so it's not that we won't be spending time with us.

OP posts:

PNGirl · 12/12/2016 19:04

It's the unknown fare thing. My grandparents didn't like taxis as you can't know the exact fare in advance and some people don't want to get into a car with a stranger who they think may rip them off.

Original poster

rookiemere · 12/12/2016 19:04

Shitonyoursofa - I do wonder what's wrong with taxis - there is definitely some issue about them. The one occasion I got one with my DPs my DF was doing all these Eliza Doolittle impressions "Oooooh a Taaaaxxxiii" which got really wearing after a few minutes.

Now that I think about it we always used to get neighbours to drive us to the airport and vice versa. It's not like it was close - it was a good hour's drive, but I never remember getting a cab or leaving the car there, so we must have got lifts. Weird eh, as we're about 10 miles from the airport and know our neighbours very well, but hell would freeze over before I'd ask any of them to drive us to the airport.

OP posts:

PNGirl · 12/12/2016 19:04

Obviously in this case it was going to be 40 pounds but I'm talking about general taxi dislike!

Original poster

rookiemere · 12/12/2016 19:06

PNGirl - the guy I spoke to was offering a flat very reasonable rate, so it's not the unknown fare thing, but I do think they have a huge fear of getting ripped off. They get various quotes for pieces of work and seem to expect the workmen to survive on £40 per day for labour.

OP posts:

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 12/12/2016 19:18

This is silly. You don't want to drive them. You have limited holiday time.

Surely the reason they don't understand that your time is precious is because you aren't telling them clearly enough.

Tell them how important your time is, explain that you aren't going to drive them just because they don't particularly fancy taking a cab! And don't book and pay for it either. They are perfectly capable of doing it themsleves. You don't have to infantilise old people.

Otherwise your DH will be on MN and we'll be telling him he's got a DW problem not a PIL problem.

cloudchasing · 12/12/2016 19:18

Taxi companies will fix your fare at the price quoted for the journey if it's long distance.

Original poster

rookiemere · 12/12/2016 19:28

I'll let DH make the judgement call - he's just back now so I shall speak to him.

OP posts:

P1nkP0ppy · 12/12/2016 19:35

Sounds just like my DPs 😳
I used to do a 100 mile round trip, leaving home at 7am, to take them to a specific shop, no stopping for coffee or for me to buy anything I needed and back home by 1pm.
This was alternate Saturday's for years. I didn't dare suggest any deviation from this.
I don't understand why some older people are so intransigent, not realising how much it impacts on you. I'm the only one of three siblings who worked (full time and more), yet never were the others asked to ferry them around.

My dos have plenty of mohey, yet like yours OP they are suspicious of paying anyone to do anything!

QuackDuckQuack · 12/12/2016 19:42

I think taxis have become more affordable, but many people are still in the mindset that they are really expensive. As a child I remember getting a London taxi about twice as a massive treat. Whilst I wouldn't describe them as actually cheap now, we can afford to get them more often than twice in my DCs' childhood.

It's similar to the shock you get when buying sweets/chocolate as you have the prices of your childhood set in your mind.

BdumBdummer · 12/12/2016 19:47

My DM (sadly passed away very recently) was a huge taxi avoider until she realised how massively useful they were and how they cut down on drama and stress. And she was very old school.

Trills · 12/12/2016 19:49

Apparently time and effort is free, so you should be happy to give infinite amounts of it.

This is very well put.

TheCraicDealer · 12/12/2016 19:56

My parents (61 and 58) will happily get a taxi into town on a Friday night, but will they get a taxi from the airport? Will they fuck! They go away four or five times a year. I've put my foot down recently and refused to do the red eye first thing in the morning (they always get the earliest flight possible to "make the most of their time away"), but I've still been guilted into collecting them at 9 or 10 at night. It's a £10 and £20 fair to or from each of our local airports, but they refuse to get cabs home, nor will they book parking because they couldn't bear to stop drinking for an afternoon to drive home I'm waiting with baited breath to see what they do when I move in the NY and no longer so handy.

I think the comment made about them not wanting to part with money but seeing us part with our time/effort/own-money-for-petrol being perfectly acceptable is right. Mine try to pull the "but we would do it for you!", which might be right, but we never ask them because we know they'll use it to emotionally blackmail us!

Original poster

rookiemere · 12/12/2016 20:04

I don't know if I'm glad or despondent that so many of us are in the same boat !

I spoke to DH and he grudgingly agreed that we should do the 1.5hr compromise thing ( mind you this is likely each way so 3hrs in total). Like me he doesn't want to upset them, but is a bit annoyed about the lost time.

OP posts:

camelfinger · 12/12/2016 20:18

My parents have loads of time as they are retired. They expect me to have loads of knowledge on technology related matters which I don't. They try to get me to spend my limited spare time Googling why they might have been overcharged 25p on a mobile phone bill. Also, they and other relatives insist on getting other relatives to do handyman jobs which usually involves waiting several months for the job to be finished and they all bitch about each other. They'd much rather do that than pay someone to do a professional job in a day or two. I think it's similar to getting people to drive, they think that because you have a vehicle anyway, and it's no physical effort to drive that you might as well spend your whole life ferrying people around.

Original poster

rookiemere · 12/12/2016 22:25

Argh theyve now left a message saying they arent going to bother with the thing they wanted a lift for which I now feel really guilty about.
This all started because I wanted to donsomething nice for them now I wish I hadnt bothered.

OP posts:

teaandakitkat · 12/12/2016 23:13

Oh I get annoyed about this too. My in-laws are about 1.5hrs round trip away from us and dh always collects them then drops them off, so 3 hours in the car. Often longer than the time they actually spend in our house.
Last time they were here dh forgot he was needing to drive later and had too much wine, so they had to get a taxi. £40, but they can afford it. And guess what- they managed fine, and now sometimes take a taxi to town to go shopping.

melj1213 · 13/12/2016 00:01

The thing that gets me is that taxi fare not only covers the drivers wage but also pays for petrol/car maintenance etc. You are being expected to do the same job for nothing but gratitude ... but gratitude won't pay for petrol!

I am all for helping out family/friends but when they are costing you time/money, when there is a cost-effective alternative, purely because they want you to drive them as opposed to there being a need for you to do I start to get a little bit annoyed.

Flip

1 2