Christmas Dinner

[laurzj82]

AIBU to ask for help with hosting my family's 1st Christmas day at mine?? Starting to panic!

We usually have Christmas day at parents house but my mum died 3 weeks ago. Mum loved christmas so would want us to celebrate and also I have a nearly 3 yr old DD so have to carry on... Dad quite understandably doesn't want to decorate the family home and have it there so I have offered to host for family (10 in all).

My problem is that I've never cooked for that many before and I know I'm going to get really stressed (I'm a real worrier). I've never cooked a Christmas dinner although I've cooked roasts before which is pretty much the same thing.

Basically I'm after tips to help, things I can make up beforehand, things I could possibly buy pre made that will taste as good as making myself etc etc. Apart from swigging from the wine while cooking anything that might help me less stressed about it all?

Thanks in advance

Sorry for your loss.
But welldone on your idea of hosting, I must say I'm really lazy on xmas day as I have 2 under 4 plus always manic. I buy a turkey crown already prepped, pigs in blankets prepped. I peel potatoes and veg night before. I'm sure they'll be someone there to help you along. Good luck x

You can buy yummy stuffing from M&S or make in advance and freeze then just chuck it in the oven on the day. I love this recipe.

I'm a worrier too so I make onion gravy the day before (or longer and freeze it) just in case the last minute gravy doesn't turn out well. Or just reheat the onion gravy then chuck in the meat juices and ignore it while it bubbles away as you're serving everything up. If you want to add extra flavour chuck in some veg in big chunks with the meat add to the gravy then whizz with a food processor and sieve - so yummy!

Delia's red cabbage recipes is brilliant, can't go wrong, can be made days in advances or frozen or just left in the bottom of the oven = very christmassy!

This butternut squash recipe is amazing too and can be made in advance - just chuck on some cheese and breadcrumbs at the end and heat up.

Wrap up the pigs in blankets in the morning and just chuck in the oven last thing.

You could always exchange roast potatoes for mash which you can make in advance.

I also make a cauliflower cheese in advance (steam the cauliflower so it doesn't go watery) then heat it up.

Sorry to hear about your mum

Do you really need to host all 10 people?! Under the circs i can see why you having your dad over, but who are all these other people expecting to be hosted so soon after you've lost your mum?

I dont think a single person is going to be expecting le manoir cooking standards from you op.

are you able to ask them to bring a dish if they can?

My tip is to buy much stuff ready made from m and s then concentrate on potatoes and the meat. again.

Sorry to hear about your mum.
Prepare and par cook all the veg the day before.

Assign yourself a capable KP to help on the day.
Make a list of timings for when the meat needs to be in the oven etc.
Make someone in charge of laying the table.
Make sure everyone helps with the tidying up.

I would start off by making a list of the food you need.
Then work out the timings and oven space. Eg turkey comes out and then can put potatoes in.
Then start to sort it into things like sauces that can be pre-done. Veggies and meat that can be prepared the day before, like par boil potatoes. Or stuff you are happy with frozen or brought in.

Is there any equipment someone can bring around, like a double layered veg steamer, or halogen oven?
Is there any food you can outsource? Like ask someone to bring mince pies or canapés, cranberry and bread sauce, brandy butter. Give them the choice to buy or make themselves.

Sorry about your Mum xxxx

I'm so sorry what a horrible time to lose your mum. I agree with whoever said hosting 10 people for the first time,so close after losing your mum, is probably a bit much. If you really had to I would go for pre-made EVERYTHING, that can just be bunged in the oven. And get everyone visiting to chip in, provide something or help with washing up etc.

The most important thing is that you all enjoy being together and there is some food, beyond that I would try to relax. Don't get hung up on the big Christmas dinner thing, just keep thinking it's a roast and you've said you can do that!

I've enjoyed looking at the December issue of Good Housekeeping, there's recipes and timings but also tips on what to buy.

Aldi s roast potatoes are super. Buy stuffing. Have one guest bring dessert and another the starters. All you want to be doing is cooking the turkey and heating anything else up. Someone else could bring a cooked ham, it can be served cold and really, don't be shy about asking your guests to help.

As you can tell from my name I've got this down to a fine art. Ive ordered turkey crown, pigs in blankets, stuffing balls, prepared veg, potatoes, gravy, pudding etc from M&S. Also ordered a starter and some bits! Need to pick it up on the 23rd.
Awful time to lose your mum - although any time to lose your mum is awful.

Write down a schedule of timings to put everything in the oven and you're away. Most comes in disposable foil containers so less washing up. People are usually so grateful that you are doing this and not them that the fact it is pre prepared is unimportant.

However, it is a pricier way of doing things.

Good luck.

Sorry for your loss OP. The first Christmas after I lost my Mum I did a buffet as I wanted to do something different, basically just shoved all the party food in the oven and bingo!

Have as much peeled and prepared as you can the day before. I do this on Christmas Eve and actually quite enjoy it as I have wine to keep me going!

Write a roiugh time plan for the day to, this always helps me.

Sorry for your loss

My in laws cook the turkey and bring it with them, then I do the rest, this year I have a 5 month old so I'm buying in more than usual.

Pigs in blankets already rolled and bought stuffing

Roasties I'll do in goose fat because there will be lots of disappointed faces if I don't

There are loads of yummy looking desserts in the supermarkets and I'm just doing nibbles instead of a starter, those I'll. it in from the freezer bit in the super market too.

I would def do a plan of timings for the oven, start at the time you want dinner to be ready and work backwards.

Finally just relax and enjoy being together xxx

Im so sorry your facing your 1st xmas without your mum. For the things your not sure of just buy frozen rather than stress yourself. Prep the veg the night before. im sue it will all go fine. xx

So sorry to hear about your Mum.

I would keep it really simple - cook the turkey and ham the day before and do parcels so you are ready the next day to put it in the oven. Carve it and then when you need to heat it, layer the ham, then stuffing (buy in M&S) , then turkey and then heat in the oven and cover with gravy. Its not the most moist way to serve the meat but its easy.

Roasties just parboil the day before (mary berry has a good recipe here) Likewise carrots and parsnips and then brush with honey and mustard for roasting.

Get other people to bring dessert and just do M&S bites on platters for starters

Here is a thread that may be useful in relation to the mechanics and tips for actually hosting Christmas etc.

to you and your family on having to deal with this at this time of year. I can totally understand why your DF doesn't want to decorate the family home.

The most important things are probably to have food - whatever that is - and a place for the family to gather together, have some good times and make a few moments as well to remember your DM on the day.

It might be useful to have something to distract people - like a big jigsaw or a good board game to all play together after the meal. So you are all busy "doing" something and allowing chat to happen, rather than sitting around watching something on the tv in silence.

I hope that Christmas is a peaceful one for you.

Cook & carve the turkey on Xmas Eve, buy everything else (including the gravy). Either frozen roasties or shop ready prepared ones. That way all you have to do is chuck things in the oven at the time it says on the packet. And go with Biddy's idea of having something to 'do' - the first Christmas, especially so soon, is tough. You may definitely not feel full of joy and celebration. If it just seems like a case of getting through it then that's fine. Been there, went through the motions, worst Christmas, but survived.

Oh lovey, I am so sorry. I completely agree with the others, cheat as much as possible, take as much pressure of yourself as you can with shortcuts and let others pitch in and help.

It'll be tough

I'm so sorry for your loss I apologise nearly school run so haven't read whole thread so if I duplicate please ignore. I get turkey boned and stuffed, put it in oven at 130 at bedtime (foil wrapped) and cook low and slow overnight, can be turned up if needed when you get up, make sure juices are clear and allow to rest before serving. Lovely and moist. I make my mash, carrot and parsnip and cheesy leeks the day before and reheat and if the turkey is an ostrich (last year we had 20 people) I cook my gammon the day before and serve it cold. I do a few cocktail sausages for the kids and cheat using bisto best gravy. Just the sprouts and roast veg on the day. I make my cranberry sauce now and put it in jars with a wax disc like jam keeps fine, failing that Sainsbury's one with added port is yum . I do puddings like panna cotta that can be made ahead, a no bake cheesecake or red velvet Yule log all look complicated but aren't and can be made on Friday or Saturday but keep any fresh cream until the day and make your Christmas cake and pudding now or if you want to buy I recommend a farmers market for lovely homemade taste and not too dear. Most important don't stress just enjoy being together and remembering your mum x

sorry for your loss my first christmas without my mother was quite a shock to

i would make a christmas gammon earlier in the day that can be served cold and a leg of lamb in a slow cooker

That way more room in the oven for other things ,I trim a bit of the bone off with a hand saw and rinse off any fragments under the tap.That way i can get a whole leg of lamb in a slow cooker.250ml beef stock,some crushed garlic a chopped onion/carrot the leg with lea perins high 6hrs done.

boil a smoked ham then oven 200 degrees make the glaze with 1 cup of light brown sugar,1/4 cup of honey,2 teaspoons dry mustard mix.Get ham remove skin leave a layer of fat.score a diamond pattern then at each point stick clove in(not garlic the spice clove).Rub glaze all over then place in tray with foil over top cook 30mins.Take foil off make more glaze 1 cup brown sugar,1 teaspoon dry mustard now add a tiny drop of OJ just enough to make it pourable but thick .Pour all over gammon then 25mins in oven then done

Think any left overs can be incorporated into a boxing day buffet so try not worry.Aldi is doing some nice ready made stuffing balls in the fridge,get some pre made pigs in blankets/Yorkshires and just steam veg.Brussel sprouts are great in the steamer just chuck in with a load of chopped carrots and veg is sorted.

Whatever you choose to do the most important thing is to make a list!

List everything you need to do and approx time to do it.

Rope in others who are there to help on the day- setting table, preparing food etc.

Also could you ask people to bring puddings so you don't have to worry about that?

I'm sorry about your mum and I'm sure you don't need to worry, just all being together is the important thing

laurzj82,

Nothing to add to the previous great tips from other posters, but just to wish you well. The very fact you're concerned about making Christmas special for everyone, after so recent a loss, stands as a lovely tribute to your Mum.

I'm sure your DD will provide much distraction and welcome light relief, too

Sorry I've not replied; I've been out all day. Thank you so much everyone for your messages and tips! I think I will cheat as much a possible and good tip re getting guests to bring something each. All 10 are immediate family and would've originally have been with us at dad's had mum not passed away so I can't uninvite anyone.

I've bought a few games like pie face and scattegories to play and we'll try and make as much of it as possible as mum loved Christmas.

Thanks again so much everyone

Make stuffing, roast potato's in advance and freeze.
Cook turkey day before (use giblets for gravy)
Set table night before if possible
Prep veg date before and put in pans in water.
Good luck

There's nothing I can add to the excellent tips. But sorry for your loss and have a wonderful Christmas day with your dad and family. Your mum would be proud of you