To need to be alone?

[HardLightHologram]

I've just sent dh to bed. He was hoping for a shag but I've said no, and I don't want to go to bed yet even though I'm ridiculously tired.

The only reason is that I've had almost no time alone this weekend. We've had a packed weekend of parties and lunches and shopping. The kids were quite hyper this evening after putting the tree up and we had music on and the big lights.

Then after the kids had gone up and I was sitting down, dh put the big lights on again so he could do a puzzle. He turned them off a second ago and said, come on, lets go to bed.

I've said no, I'm staying down here (with the lamp on!) to decompress and watch some tv.

I just feel like I've had a complete sensory overload this weekend and I need to be alone for a bit.

Is it just me? I'm not particularly an introvert but I need time away.

My dh is like this. Works well as he decompresses via TV and I read instead, so we give each other a couple of hours every evening.

Yes me too, sometimes after a busy day I just need to sit for 10 minutes in complete silence and gather myself together. This is made 100 times easier by me being a single parent :)

I think it's the combination ignore having the overhead lights (we rarely do) and all the busying.

I actually felt sick and like I wanted to claw my own face off. I've had literally fifteen minutes in the semi dark watching tv in peace and I feel a million times better.

ignore of

Yanbu. I love having the living room to myself for an hour. But I please need to know. How bright are these lights you speak of? I am imagining Wembley stadium

Yes, completely, DD is going to bed late at the moment, and DH always wants my attention as soon as she's gone down, gah! He's feeling a bit under the weather today so I encouraged him to have an early night and am having a lovely alone time with mumsnet, Netflix and cake, with one dim lamp on.

I'll sometimes actively encourage DH to put his Xbox on and I'll take myself to bed - candles on, lights round the bed on, music I want to listen to and read my kindle. Bliss. I need to be alone sometimes. When I was a child I used to shut myself into dark cupboards for hours at a time.

I'm like you op .

I call the ceiling lights the "big" light and I can't stand having them on.

I prefer the lamp and a few warm white fairy lights !

They're really bright! 2x chandelier style fittings with six bulbs each. They came with the house. They are seriously headache inducing.

I'm shattered after a day in the car with my belligerent chimp toddler and husband. They are now both sleeping and I'm sitting in the dark, fighting to stay awake to enjoy the quiet time and the fact that nobody is touching me.

Sensory overload here too OP it's normal for many people. I'm in a quiet living room with candles and the xmas tree. I don't need much else in life except candles & quiet & my ipad

I need to do this too which makes me feel so much calmer...until one of my DDs realises I'm alone and comes to keep me company.

I need to have regular alone time, it's not a want, it's a definite need. It helps me recharge more than sleep does TBH.

YANBU

YY I hate having the bright overhead main lights on, I don't find it relaxing. When I'm on my own I just have fairy lights (with or without Christmas tree!).

And also agree that alone time refreshes me more than sleep. I have to wind down properly before I can go to bed, no matter what time I get home!

YANBU and are not alone in this.

Well I got a solid seven hours last night after my wind down and feel refreshed and calm this morning. I've got a blissful two hours alone this morning after the school run to rearrange the tree before I have to do stuff.

I'm glad it's not just me. Dh didn't really get it, but was happy to leave me to it.

YANBU glad you're feeling better.

I am exactly the same. DP doesn't really get it and thinks I'm being 'funny', but if I don't get some alone time I can get really down.

You sound like an introvert.

Not the common perception of what an introvert is, which is someone who is socially awkward, but the true definition which is someone that gets their energy (recharges their batteries) by spending time alone - unlike an extrovert who gets theirs from being with people.

This realisation for me was really important - understanding why I felt how I did have me permission to take the time I needed.

Yanbu op.

YANBU I'm the same.
I get quite sulky if someone is at home on my day off I need my own space sometimes and love being on the house alone.
I deal with members of the public for 13 hour shifts at work so need some alone time to wind down.
My favourite thing is an empty house when everyone has gone to work, sitting in bed with a cuppa in silence.
(God I sound awful!)