to think I was an arse re xmas present?

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In short, a group of us met up for festive drinks. All people I knew except one. I'm not seeing them together before xmas so I'd brought little presents along, all the same, just little somethings. I had to leave before the end and handed round the presents, but didn't give one to the person I don't really know.

Now I feel like a total jerk as I did have a couple spare in my bag. I didn't know if she would feel weirded out by getting a prez from the friend-of-a-friend, or if I would come over as being over-generous and she would feel obliged to give me something back. But I feel like I excluded her from the group, and might have hurt her feelings...

I can't turn back the clock, but what would you have done?

Was a bit shit if she was the only one who didn't get one, especially as you had spares.

I'd probably not have given her one-I imagine she felt a bit awkward but not because she expected a gift.

I don't think yabu, why would you give something to someone you don't know? If you gave me a present and I'd never met you before I'd be a bit

Don't let it worry you.

I wouldn't have given the presents out at that time if I knew there was one person going to be there who I wasn't buying for tbh. Just because it would be awkward. But I think it would have been weirder to give a practical stranger a gift. Why did you have spares if you don't mind me asking? If I was the friend of a.friend I'd have found it a little awkward but not expected anything. Forget about it I say.

It would have been odd to give the gift. If I were her I'd have found it awkward, and then worried about getting you a gift in return!

I had spares because I thought another couple of friends were going to be there, but they couldn't make it. It was a spur of the moment decision, mostly based on the fact that I had brought the presents with me. The spares stayed in my bag.

If it had been kids, I would definitely have been 'fair' and handed a present out to everyone, even a child I didn't know. Think I've spent too much time among 7-yr-olds and my social instincts are way out of whack

I think you're right and the friend-of-friend would have been a bit weirded out by you handing them a gift. I certainly would have been. I think you made the right call.

I wouldn't have given her one but I also wouldn't have given them out in front of her face.

Some tact goes a long way.

They probably felt a bit awkward - but you didn't do anything wrong. I imagine they would've felt weird receiving a gift from you. I'd just make an extra effort to be friendly and inclusive with them next time you see them.

It was weird to give them out in front of her... Why did you do that?

I'd have given her one too. I don't think it matters greatly either way though.

You weren't an arse, OP, you did what you needed to do and didn't know that she was going to be there. What else could you have done?

Not given out any and staggered home with them all in your bag still?
or
Done a stealthy kiss and drop in their lap thing?
or
Blustered "Oh I don't know you but I can't not give you anything and the friends that these were intended for haven't shown up so... here you are

I expect she did the only thing she could which was smile blankly at nothing in particular and continue to look vague whilst you did your Santa bit...

Whether you gave her a present or not, it was fine. She wouldn't have thought anything of it. Stop that brain now...

I think it's fine. It wouldn't have been fine if she was your actual friend.

I think it was absolutely fine. It be different if you were all 6. It was just a little token gift that you were giving to your friends. I wouldn't have felt awkward if I was the person not getting the gift. In fact I would have felt more awkward to receive a gift.

I'm sure she wouldn't have felt you excluded her especially as I bet you were polite and friendly to her during the get together.

I don't think you did anything wrong. These are adults, not 5 year olds.

I had to leave before the end, and I just hadn't thought it through - it was only just as I was going. I feel guilty because I could have spared her feelings and tracked everyone else down separately in the next couple of weeks, but didn't think that fast and possibly also couldn't be arsed Will stop overthinking right now. What's done is done. Thank you for all your advice

I would not have been in the slightest bit offended in this situation.

I wouldn't have been offended, probably relieved!
in fact, token gifts even from friends I do know stress me out at Christmas as I can't really afford to reciprocate!!

Nothing wrong with that. Better than receiving an awkward present.

I have a relative by marriage, and we clearly dislike each other. I gave her a few nice bits from Lush, and she gave me and DH as a joint present, a pair of fishnet hold up stockings!

Sadly DH is no longer alive, but we did used to find it hilarious - were the stockings meant for me? DH? Or one each?!

I possibly would have offered to buy a drink in lieu of a gift but I think what you did was fine too. I wouldn't think anything of it in her situation.

This happened last night to me. I went out with my mum's group of friends and someone gave out presents to all her friends. I was quite happy that they all got presents and I didn't and wouldn't have thought you unreasonable. As it happened, one of the ladies didn't make it and she gave me the absentee's present. I didn't expect that at all though.

i've been that person. didn't bother me at all as i wouldn't expect a gift form someone i don't know. "tact" is not necessary in this situation, as a normal adult would neither be bothered nor upset at not receiving a gift from an acquaintance and knows xmas is hectic and u may not have seen them again before xmas.