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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect DH to stay awake all day?

27 replies

isaidno · 17/02/2007 17:42

This morning DH got up with the DC at 7:30 am and I had a lie in til 9:10 am. This was very much appreciated, but now at 5:30 pm he has been asleep on the sofa for an hour.

I am a bit pissed off - I don't get an hour's kip at teatime / bathtime when I get up the other 99% of the time!

OP posts:
kittywaitsfornumber6 · 17/02/2007 18:15

I'd let it go.
If you want another sleep during the day then ask for one, that's what I do.
No point point scoring, it never comes to any good.

nearlyfourbob · 17/02/2007 18:17

Yes you are being unreasonable.

fireflyfairy2 · 17/02/2007 18:20

Yes. Let the man sleep You had a lie in this morning.

mamalocco · 17/02/2007 18:46

Not unreasonable to be annoyed, but yes unreasonable to expect him to stay awake. DH probably gets up with dcs once a year on average, and has to have a lie down at some point during the day!!

Original poster
isaidno · 18/02/2007 19:52

I suppose I should be grateful! I wasn't that annoyed, just a bit narked!

OP posts:
NotQuiteCockney · 18/02/2007 19:53

It depends - will he keep you up until midnight now? I tend to disapprove of DH having naps because he then doesn't want to go to bed at a decent hour and gets all out of synch.

He did get a 'nap' today, though, as DS2 got up at five (getting over a bug), came in our bed for an hour, then DH got up with him until 8, when I let him go back to bed until ten. Not quite the same thing, though.

Hulababy · 18/02/2007 19:54

I always find it strange when I read of people (non pregnant/ill people anyway) going for naps during the day. I can't think of any time DH has ever needed a nap mid day, nor myslef, and we rarely have a lie in either.

Original poster
isaidno · 18/02/2007 19:59

NQC - that does p me off - he wants to sleep in / have a nap / pref both - then stay up til 1 am.

Then complain about being knackered when getting up in the morning

OP posts:
DumbledoresGirl · 18/02/2007 19:59

Dh wanted a nap this afternoon but it was quite late on and I knew that if he went up to bed, he would not be able to sleep later tonight. So I suggested he had a cuddle with me on the sofa instead - seemed to work quite well!

NotQuiteCockney · 18/02/2007 20:01

Yeah, I've had to put my foot down about that. Fact is, he tries to normally get up at 6 or 6:30 in the week, so sleeping in past 7 on the weekend is just silly, it means he spends most of his life jetlagged.

He has come around and agrees that keeping the same (ish) schedule all week is better for him.

HEIFER · 18/02/2007 20:02

Well I do Hulababy,, infact had a 1.5 hr sleep this afteroon....

DH and I seem to be permately tired... so we take it it turns at the weekend to have a lie in or nap in the afternoon...

No idea why we are still tired as DD now 3 actually sleeps through the night - but I guess as she didn't until she was 2.7 we have a lot of sleep to catch up on...

So Isaidno - yes I think you are being unreasonable, BUT you should ask for a nap if you need it too.... that way you are both happy.

DumbledoresGirl · 18/02/2007 20:04

Hulababy, my dh had to get up at 3am last Monday to fly to Sweden and did not get home until about 11 that night. The next day (and for the rest of the week) he had to carry on with his usual 7 to 7 work schedule, then on Saturday, he usually has quite a few jobs to get done around the house. It is not uncommon for him to flake out at some point during the weekend.

Walnutshell · 18/02/2007 20:04

Lol at NQC "I tend to disapprove of DH having naps because he then doesn't want to go to bed at a decent hour and gets all out of synch." - It sounds like you are referring to one of your dc's! (Mind you dh's can be rather similar in that respect...)

NotQuiteCockney · 18/02/2007 20:05

Um, well I did Ferberize DH before any of my DSes, so I guess it all is the same.

Walnutshell · 18/02/2007 20:05

This morning my dh got up at 6.30ish with ds, I got up about 8.15 and ALL of us had an afternoon nap - lazy b*ggars eh?

CountessDracula · 18/02/2007 20:05

Yes you are
Naps are fab and good for one

CountessDracula · 18/02/2007 20:06

I send my dh to bed in teh day if he looks tired and he does the same for me

Hulababy · 18/02/2007 20:06

I guess that is a bit out of the norm though, so can understand that. I was menaing more normal day to day type routines. Just know a couple of people who often have naps day to day (not because of unusual waking hours, etc.) and, as we never have done, I find it a bit strange - not wrong or badm just not what I am used to.

colditz · 18/02/2007 20:12

I love to have a kip in the day, and dp will have an early evening kip.

DumbledoresGirl · 18/02/2007 20:13

I don't think it is seen as normal in our society but you only have to think about other Europeans taking siestas to see that it could be considered very normal. I do think there is an art to napping though - too long and you feel so shitty afterwards that it would have been better not to have one.

Original poster
isaidno · 18/02/2007 20:16

I suppose it is part envy - I would love to have a siesta but i would want one every day, not occasionally!

OP posts:
HEIFER · 18/02/2007 20:20

My mum always used to have an afternoon nap..

After lunch (main meal of the day which we all came home for) she would turn the radio on and lie on the settee...

She would listen to the Archers then Woman Hour - but always feel asleep for a short while..

I have no idea what she did with us children (I am guessing put us to bed).. but when the grandchildren were staying with her, she used to get them to lie down with her and they often drifted off to sleep to...

I can't listen to the Archers without thinking about her....

I have to admit to resting my eyes whilst DD is watching Cbeebies etc...

lou33 · 18/02/2007 20:20

my oh always has a cat nap at some point during the day

he justs drags me to bed to nap with him, which solves the problem lol

Bozza · 18/02/2007 20:23

It is an art I haven't got. Even if I go to bed in the day (very rarely and usually caused by a late night and hangover) I am usless at actually going to sleep and then if I do I feel rubbish on waking.

jasper · 18/02/2007 20:47

yes you are being unreasonable.
You had a lie in