To think childcare duties in a morning shouldn't always be mine?

[buckyou]

Normally we are quite a happy family unit but we seem to have developed a bit of a problem with weekend mornings.

We have an 18mo daughter. I'm 32 weeks pregnant. He works FT, I work 3 days a week. He also has a business venture on the side so it quite busy with work.

On a weekends I always get up at 6.45 with our daughter. He won't get up until I make him and then sits there complaining how tired he is, which does my head in quite a lot. Yesterday we went out for Christmas lunch and we're all in bed for 8pm, so he wasnt tired this morning and got up with us. Whoop I thought. I'll get some help for a change! Maybe not, at 8am he decided he needed to go outside and start trimming the bloody hedge!

Am I being that unreasonable to just want one morning where I can just relax for a bit, put my feet up and not have responsibility for our busy toddler?

I completely flipped out this morning, I'm not quite myself at the moment with this pregnancy, but I expect it will all be the same next weekend.

He's generally a nice chap and good husband / dad, but How can I get him to understand I want a break on a weekend morning? If he helped me one day then he could lie in the other but we just end up arguing over who's the most tired.

Tell him you are having a lie on and he is getting up with your toddler. Then decide who will have a lie on on Saturdays and who will on Sundays.

We take it in turns to have a lie in here!
Hubby also takes the lead in looking after our toddler on his days off so I can get other things done :)
I basically told him I needed help and I needed some time where I don't have to put the little one first so I can get on with other things that need doing!

I can't really get back to sleep once I'm awake which I think is part of the problem. He thinks if I'm up, I might as well look after the baby!

My hubby has Saturday lie in and I have Sunday 😁 Fair to everyone then !

I hope you can find a way to get through to him how unfair he is being. I never managed it. Talking calmly with sensible reasons, yelling and crying all had zero result in me getting a lie in.
Our child is 12 now and my husband (her father) gets all bent out of shape when she doesn't get up in the morning at the weekends. All I can say is - "She takes after you".

Ok. Maybe I'll tell him that up until 10am on a Sunday he has to look after the baby and I can do what I want. Vise versa on a Saturday. So then he gets a lie in and I get chill time.

See how it goes next weekend. X

Have you asked him to take turns? We take turns here & I am a SAHM.

Yeah I've asked him but because I get up anyway he either doesn't get up or if he does he's just useless!

I didn't sleep well last night and was listening to him snore half the night.. Which has added to my rage!!!

I think if I set out clear expectations then he will do as he's told. Hopefully.

Do I understand this correctly? Kid wakes up at 6.45am, you get up with them. DH finds it difficult to get up and doesn't till you make him.
If that's the situation making him get up to take care of your DC might cause more aggro than it solves. So how about you take the mornings, but get your break in the afternoon?
Speak to him. This is the situation, I don't think it's fair. What can we do so I get an equal amount of down time?
This is, of course, only if you would be up anyway. If you actually want a lie in he needs to take turns.

Yes that's about the long and short of it.

I alternate lie ins with DH. Sometimes I go back to sleep, sometimes I just chill. 9am is our cut-off.

I work most weekends but if I am off we take it in turns. Two days off we take one night and morning each.

Even if you don't lie in, on your.mornings make yourself a brew and take it back to bed and MN. Or put yourself in a nice bath. Or go out for a walk alone.

You need to claim some time.

Agree with hairy and nap. You alternate and that time is yours. We usually cut off at about 8.30/9.00 too. We have done this when I was SAHM and working part time. He's shirking his responsibility.

Dh and I have until 11.30am ish each. However my lie in is usually after a late shift at work so I don't get to sleep til at least 1am. An 8am start would be awful after that!!

That's fair enough nap

It's got to work for everyone

When we had just one we used to take turns, it's only right! Now I've got 9m old twins no one gets lie in ever

Thanks everyone. When we've got another one in a couple of months I'm thinking no one will be getting lie ins so we need to make the most of it while we've only got 1!