was i wrong for my dad not seeing my daughter on her birthday

[user1473872482]

my daughters birthday was yesterday and i took her past my mums so she could give her a present. my dad wasn't there even though he knew i would be going round. i told my mum straight after school but she told my dad i would be there later. i asked my mum where my dad was and she said he has gone out and i said when is he coming back and she said a lot later but i don't know when. my daughter got the present and then we left. my dad phoned later to say he was rushing home to see her and i explained what my mum said and he then started shouting at me cos he never saw her but i did offer to take her back or for him to come round and he said no. he said happy birthday to my daughter on the phone and got upset cos we were going to my in laws so they could give her the present too. he shouted about that too and put the phone down on me. so was i really wrong for not staying at my mums when she said she didn't know how long or when my dad would be home.

i want to thank you so much bobbynoggle for your good advice

Xx

I loathe this attitude. Your DD is not a show pony who has to paraded in front of the required number of people.

should i say something to them when we do contact each other? was thinking of saying that we never went round to celebrate at my in laws without them and that what happened was that you mum got your timings wrong. or should i just do small talk?

Your father went on about 'it's not fair' your DD's other grandparents saw her? She's not a toy, and presumably he's not a five year old.
I would ignore this completely unless they bring it up, then shut them down with that point.
He sounds like a petulant child and doesn't deserve you engaging on this.

I don't think you're being totally unreasonable, but think of it from their point of view. You only stayed 40 minutes?? Did u literally just go to get a present for your dd? Was your mum not even allowed to see her for a bit longer on her birthday? I know that everyone's relationships with their parents are different but I think even my mum would be miffed at a 40 min chance to spend with my kids on their birthdays, let alone my dad not being able to see them at all. And all for the sake of a friend coming over to hand in a present.
Just playing devils advocate, but I can see why they might be a bit pissed off. Obviously you offered for your dad to come over, which he didn't do, so he's cut his nose off to spite his face there.
Bite the bullet, give them a call. Life's too short to fall out over something so trivial.
Hope your daughter had a lovely day despite what happened. Xxxx

His behaviour is selfish and immature. It wasn't his birthday.
My psycho grandparents did a similar thing and hosted their own birthday for DD 3 months after her birthday to make a point about not having been there on the day... It's absurd. You don't have to pander to your dad's every whim, especially given your daughter should be the one getting all the attention on her day!