AIBU to be fed up of being a mum

[ChampagneSupernovaX]

I know I am.
Just said it in anger and now feel guilty.
I'm not fed up of being a mum at all, I'm just fed up of all the responsibility and the fact everyone expects everything of you and never the man in your life... why? Why is it always me that has to deal with everything. I've spent the best part of my day trying to get baby to sleep when he's shattered and just refusing to go. Fed up

We all say stuff. Don't beat yourself up, babies can be stressful no matter how much you love them.

I've had a day like that. 3yo pushing my buttons and answering back and generally being disobedient. I wish I could de-mum for today. Or at least fast forward to 7.30 when it's bed time.

Don't get me start e on the double standard with dads. My DH gets a round of applause for taking his child to the park. If I do the same then someone has a criticism somewhere about how I've done it. Pisses me off no end. And no I'm not lucky that he does half the housework and chores and putting to bed. It's how it should be, a penis does not hinder one from doing basic tasks

I agree with you. People constantly asking me stuff and expecting me to know stuff, do stuff. It's relentless. Mine are 5 and 8 now and I work full time. The demands on my time, goodwill etc never stop. J feel like I'm imploding most of the time.

For you OP

We've all been there. It wouldn't be so bad if the men in our lives had brains (speaking for myself at least!)

Being a mum is hard work...

Yanbu. Mum-ing is not in my personality at all. I fucking hate it. Being constantly touched, demanded of, screamed at for things you are doing to actually help them, cleaning, cooking, providing everything everyone else needs at your own expense, being a mum is shit. I'm clumsy and untidy yet expected to take care of a small fragile person intent on self destruction while keeping a house clean?!

But it gets easier.
Make your partner pitch in. MAKE HIM.
And your baby will grow up and be less frustrating over time. Mine is now a wonderful 18 month old and though she is still maddening at times she can now engage more, helps clean her own high chair because she likes using the wipes (!!) And will soon be going to school, at which point I can be more than just mum again.

Being a mum is hard, tiring, and often thankless. But you're more than just a mum. You're a whole person and before long will get to use all those other wonderful characteristics of yours along side a child who adores you.

Uanbu it's bloody hard work but I'm sure your Dc appreciate you in their own little way. Honestly they are grateful for all your love and hard work!

Going through this as well at the moment

Had a moment earlier: stuck in traffic, DD screaming in the back and trying to speak to OH and realised I will never be free of this child again.

YANBU to be fed up. It is hard and thankless work a lot of the time. But you're not alone!

DH asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I said "a week where nobody asks me anuthng or expects me to do anything". He suggested that he'd get me a new cycling club jersey because mine is 10 years old and a different design. I pointed out that a new one would be 10 years old before I got much use out of it.

YADNBU - being a Mum is stressful and this is made worse when the people around you have low expectations of your DH. He needs to take some responsibility if he isn't and you need to make more demands.

Give yourself a break, there are some days when I feel like this and they were far more frequent when my DCs were babies. It's hard!

Don't get me start e on the double standard with dads.

Absolutely. Apparently I'm really lucky because DP 'babysits' while I go to work. TO WORK!!!!!

When it's your kid, it's not babysitting--it's being a parent! And when you have a kid, you parent, not babysit!!

YANBU. DS 9 months has his second round of gastroenteritis following a tummy bug 2 weeks ago (last time it lasted 6 weeks, 3 sets of clothes a day, plus bedding...), and a stinking cold, and teething with fever. He's also just starting to cruise and get really mobile, and refusing at every nap until he ko's from sheer exhaustion, and waking 2+ hours in a night where he used to sleep through.

DH has norovirus and been bedridden off work, I have a stomach bug but not quite so bad. We are going away for a fortnight from next weekend, the house is a state, literally everything needs washed. Washed AGAIN I mean, it's been 2-3 loads of disgusting soiled stuff a day for the last 2 weeks.

I do love DS obviously, but dear god it's hard to feel it first when life is this hard. Call me naive, but I didn't realise I was signing myself up for this amount of shit being a mum. (I mean drudgery, but shit is currently appropriate ...) I've spent the last few days dreaming about former normal, where I could curl up under a duvet until I felt better, instead of having to give what I haven't got left to keep everything else running.

It's fucking relentless and thankless.

I just realised I need to get my mum a super big present for Christmas.

I'm with rixera except my youngest is 3 and I've hated it since she was 18 months. Baby years fine. Toddler dd fucking hard and relentless. I can't wait until she turns 5

Mine are 7 and 5 so getting some independence. But I so often wonder why they ask me to e.g. get them a drink/open a bottle/find socks, when DH is right there too, in the room. And often closer than me to whatever they want.

And it's not because I enable this type of behaviour. In fact, my favourite parenting phrase is 'ask your dad'! So why do they keep asking ME?

Yanbu. I love my kids but I am getting fed up of everything being down to me. I was ill with d and v and still the kids were coming to me for help. Yet when dh is I'll he can take himself off to bed.

Yanbu. Currently hating having my 18mo.

Sorry everyone was on a long journey out and forgot my phone. I also wasn't expecting so many responses so thank you all. You have all made me feel so much better, and it's nice to know I'm not the only one!
I get exactly the same badhotfanny except people asking me what to do for little one when their father is in the same room even if I'm busy doing something!
Thanks everyone for the I needed it!

toffeeforeveryone blimey I feel for you! Feel like you need some !

I've just read all your responses again, each of you have really helped me either by agreeing or sharing your stories which have made me realise actually I'm being a bit pathetic as you guys have worse stuff to deal with ATM! I just lost my shit today. Will live to fight another seemingly relentless day though for all!

Know what you mean. I realised only recently that I'm running the house from my armchair! I'm ill and disabled and for some time now dh has been doing most of the domestics. But only the basics, the rest is continuously requested by me! I'm fed up! I don't want to be responsible for everything from my armchair.

YANBU - I've felt this way at times. I feel very tired and exhausted. It feels relentless. I also have to be responsible for everything. Ex-DH is great as hands on dad, but I take care of every single detail. It's on me and no one else. It doesn't stop till my DCs are asleep. When I have more energy it won't feel so relentless. Sometimes I'd love someone else to come and take care of me!

Sorry, forgot to say YANBU.

If reading between the lines, your Dp is being spectacularly clueless, then it's time to enrol him on being a responsible parent 101, btw.