lazy hubby

[awsome]

is it just mine? my hubby has become so lazy, he goes to work but thats it,he doesnt help around the house or with the kids unless i make him feel guilty,i am sick of picking up after him,i dont know what to do

So thenyou say yes you will take over hedges and you actually do it.

Yes, checking the family helps. My ex husband showed me his domestic systems, how he dealt with his shirt washing, his house which he cleaned himself etc. I could see he was managing domestically alone (not that we ended up happily married; probably nicer to be marreid to a slob and be happy than be unhappy and divorce etc)

My Dh's father never ever lifts a hand. Ever. My Husband on the other hand has never been anything but helpful from day one. He comes home from work, and we have dinner which I have cooked. He baths DD and puts here to bed while I clean the kitchen. He then comes down and helps me finish up. On the weekends if does just as much as I do. What I'm saying is that the family is not a good indicator. Thats like saying you are just like your mother. I think the idea of abandoning him for a few days with the kids and the housework is a good one. His mom doesn't live near by does she? If so take her with you or she'll just sabatoge the whole thing.

But when you're checking someone out before deciding if you might be interested in them as well as looking over their body etc you might be with them and the FIL and see what he says - the man might say - isnt' my father awful he is waited on hand and foot if you make some comment about it or he might sit there aruging the rightness of female service rendered unto man. So checking before you buy as it were is worth doing.

But ... Xenia ... how to put this delicately ... ? you are divorced, right? And the OP is still married. How can she put her situation right, without having to get divorced? I was 31 when I got married and thought I knew a lot about my DH. I didn't know how he was going to behave when we had children to care for, because we didn't have children to care for! Its not particularly helpful to say "don't marry these types in the first place", especially when you clearly aren't a shining example of domestic-bliss-coupledom yourself. I am not a default Xenia-basher-type, btw. Just interested.

I suscribe to the go away for the weekend plan. I use it now and then. It restores my sanity. Speaking of which, I think I'm due for another sometime soon.... Where shall I go????

trouble is you go away for the weekend and you just know the house will be a reck when you get back. time for a house meeting i think, awsome.

We had all those femininst discussions about childcare and housework before we got engaged but I may not have been a typical 21 year old. And yes we got divorced after 19 years so I obviously didn't get it quite right.

If you're already married then communicate clearly what you want done or accept he won't and hire someone to do it or do it yourself. I just think 20 years of nagging which some people get into doesn't make home life much fun for anyone.

I don't think Xenia got divorced over housework though.

2007!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!