Just can't decide which of these two women is most stupid.

[MatildaTheCat]

Actually I do have a view but wonder if others agree.

Will start by saying this is none of my business so IABU in discussing but anyway...

My friend is 59 and has never had children. She has a partner who is generally pretty hopeless with anything at all practical. She used to work with a woman who is younger and has one child aged just two. The younger friend was invited, verbally to a mutual friend's wedding many months ago and the child was included. Then almost immediately, the bride realised the venue wasn't suitable and said sorry, no children. This was more than six months before the wedding.

Friend with child went mad and went on and on about how awful this was so my friend offered to babysit the child for the whole day and evening. A little girl whom she has never even met. The friend has a childminder who she could have used for the whole day and overnight ( does this for work all the time) but accepted this offer to save money. She even requested they stay at the wedding overnight and went sad when friend said sorry but no.

I'm just aghast that my friend even offered. She doesn't want to do it and has literally no idea what a child of this age can or can't do ( we've tried to explain). Her friend is surely both selfish to ask and cruel to such a young child to leave her for 12 hours with a stranger, in a strange house and a stranger who has no idea at all? The wedding is about an hour's drive away.

It's today. I'm keeping my fingers crossed but am expecting a stressed call any time now.

Please don't say mind your own business, I know that.

By the age of 59, I'd be willing to bet that Friend has been around small children enough to know at least a little what she's getting into. Just because she's childless doesn't mean she doesn't have nieces/nephews and other friends who've had children. Or that she never babysat as a young girl. And the Mum isn't just going to toss the child out the car door and vanish. She'll probably overload Friend with instructions and lists!

My only concern would be if Friend's house was reasonably 'child safe'. We haven't had small children in our house for ages and oddly enough I was looking around the other day and thought 'OMG, this place would be a death trap for a toddler!!'.

Other than childproofing, the child will be fine. She'll probably eat crap food and watch TV the whole time. And from this, little children do not die.

I'm also not sure why you think a two year old is not much more than a baby? I think a two year old is very different to a baby. They can walk and talk usually for one thing, never mind feed themselves and yes she may be toilettrained or not. Have you been trying to scare the woman ?

My child went to a childminder and nursery at this age. I think you're thinking as your own children had issues that's normal, but it's not, it depends what they are used to and this child already goes to a child minder

Neither of the women are stupid and I think you're being very mean about both of them.

I looked after a girl this age as a 16 year old, during one school holidays. I had never looked after a child before, and was too young to have had much life experience. It was easy. I probably wasn't the best child carer, but I kept her safe, fed her and played with her.

While I'm sure it will all be fine, I think it's not reasonable to suddenly leave a young child with someone they've never met before for 12 hours. This isn't an emergency situation, it's a wedding that the parent has chosen to attend. If a child is at nursery or a childminder, they don't just go there for the first time for 12 hours, they phase it in gently. If they were staying with Granny or another adult they knew, that would be OK, too. Is the child staying in their own home or are they going to stay with her?