I'm probably bu but found this a bit hurtful

[Wellaibu]

The in-laws are actually dh father and his second wife. Both have children from their 1st marriages but no children together. All children have families of their own.

Our DC have always known her as their grandmother, we don't say "step" and neither has she.. until now.

A message she send one of her friends popped up on my news feed, there was an exchange between them and she mentioned how she has x amount of grandchildren and x step grandchildren.

I just felt really hurt by the comments. We don't refer to her as step grandmother, just like we don't call her children "step sibling" or even their children "step cousins"

I am being unreasonable I know, but I'm feeling very hurt for my children. Like they are lesser in her eyes as they aren't her blood GC.

I wouldn't say anything to her or fil about it, or even dh, but just wanted to sound off about it.

You are reading FAR too much into this. She hasn't said that her step grandchildren mean any less to her; she was explaining her family set up.

I think she's just explaining to her friend, it doesn't mean that she doesn't see the children as her grandchildren in her mind or in the way that she treats them.

I don't think she meant to be hurtful at all, she's just stating the facts. It doesn't imply she favours her real grandchildren over her step-grandchildren.

If she claimed her step-grandchildren as her own real children it would be a lie. She's just telling the truth, nothing more, nothing less.

YABU. Sorry but, the truth can hurt

Agree you are overthinking this. My DM died when I was in my teens. My DH remarried 15 years ago. She is Nana to mine and my siblings' DCs, part of the family not step anything. Her son also has DCs. But if she was describing them to a 3rd party it would be perfectly normal to describe my Dcs as step grandchildren and her son'a DCs as grandchildren. The same way that I call her step mum (to people who don't know her) when talking about her, but her first name when talking to her. It's just factual.

Surely she's just explaining her exact relationship to the kids? Do you never explain to people that she's your husband's step mum? I have a niece who is strictly speaking a step niece but she has been brought up by my brother from a young age so none of us think of her as 'step' at all. I do sometimes find myself clarifying her exact relationship though I.e. If people comment on my brother's age when having her or whatever

YAbVU I am afraid, she was being truthful to her friend, yiur DC are not her biological grandchildren. But that does not mean she sees them as less.

I think she's being modest. She's explaining to her friend that she's blessed with all these dgc but that she had no role in producing some of them

She was being truthful.

I have a step-grandmother, and I call her by her first name not "grandma" or anything. She's still my favourite grandmother though. I also love my stepdaughter like my own, but that doesn't mean she's biologically mine.

I actually don't blame you for being hurt, OP. You're right that you can't say anything, but I can understand why it stings a bit. But I do agree with other posters that you shouldn't read anything into it about how she feels about you or your DCs.