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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU unreasonable/ungrateful?

5 replies

CinnamonVanilla · 10/12/2016 12:00

DP owns some gym equipment - lets say weights. It cost A LOT, but nobody used it when it was in the garage. DP bought me taster sessions at a gym to see if I liked it, I did, so we moved it into my house. It's taken over a bit, but I'm using it every other day. I spent £700 on new weights because his are too heavy for me.

I work out every other day; in the morning - I have to shower/dress/put make up on afterwards so like to get it all done in the morning. DP does twice a week or so, his brother and dad usually once a week. DP will shower here afterwards, I don't think his brother and dad do shower afterwards.

This week his brother came on Wednesday too, and forgot to change the weights back. I was due to work out yesterday but couldn't change them, DP was away with work and tired when he got back. We agreed to postpone to today - I figured he'd come early, change the weights, I'd work out and be showered and dressed and ready for when his family come. DP said his Dad wanted to take part in a digital event thing at midday.

At 9:30, DP text that his dad and brother actually wanted to come in the morning. I was annoyed, but showered, dressed, went to the shop for lunch. Disappointing, but it's not mine, so fair enough... Except they still aren't here, so I called and DP has said they aren't bothered anymore, they will probably work out tomorrow instead.

AIBU to think they should take into account when I want to work out too? I don't mind sharing it - it's not mine, after all - but they've royally messed up my schedule and now nobody is using it.

Grr.

OP posts:
19lottie82 · 10/12/2016 12:02

Why not text his brother and tell him when the home gym will be free (i.e. The times when you're not using it)?

CinnamonVanilla · 10/12/2016 12:38

Apparently they are now coming and will be here in 10 Angry

I would text; but they rarely contact me - they ask DP. Which I understand because it's his equipment; but DP doesn't live here, and although he spends a fair amount of time here, he works away Monday to Friday.

I will suggest a schedule though. They haven't even asked if they can come; just said they've decided now they will and are just picking brother up.

I have no patience for this today. I feel like going out.

(To be fair to them they are usually lovely and include me a lot; so they are possibly treating mine as an extension of theirs, but I wanted to work out today! I'm already a day late. Hmph.)

OP posts:
ShowMePotatoSalad · 10/12/2016 12:41

If DP doesn't live with you, but he leaves his equipment in your home, there is some expectation that you have a right to decide how and when it gets used.

If it's not convenient for you to have them round, you need to tell DP that. I think there is a little bit of advantage-taking going on here.

Birdsgottafly · 10/12/2016 13:50

I think you should have a conversation with them about it, so the resentment doesn't build.

I used to lift daily and had to often vary the time that I worked out.

I think that you should work on being more flexible with your workout times, tbh.

I do understand how bad it feels when you miss a day (I could never do a Sunday), though.

DollyPlastic · 10/12/2016 15:36

Sounds like too much fucking about for my liking.

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