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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

1st world Ms Judgy Pants-I know IABU (lighthearted)

24 replies

Qwertie · 10/12/2016 08:53

There's are some new mums (& the occasional dad) at school; their dcs are in reception. My DD is at the heady heights of year 1. I noticed a mum, her DS & baby walking back to the car; a new Qashqai, pushing an iCandy pram, but her DS was wearing really cheap shoes that were slipping off his feet.
I judged the hell out of her (before smiling and saying "hello") AIBU?

OP posts:

Sparklingbrook · 10/12/2016 08:54

user1477282676 · 10/12/2016 08:55

Of course you are. I don't even notice shit like brands or car makes...you should try ignoring them more too. Perhaps those shoes are the only ones her son would wear. Kids are weird.

user1477282676 · 10/12/2016 08:56

Also I find it rather unsettling to think some women have beady eyes on labels all the bloody time. Judging others constantly must be exhausting and it only shows your own insecurities.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 10/12/2016 08:58

Oh for goodness sake. Why even post this?

DonaldStott · 10/12/2016 08:59

You sound delightful. Aside frome the bracketed lighthearted, it's obviously been on your mind since at least yesterday. So much so, that you started a post about it. So not lighthearted at all really.

SaltySalt · 10/12/2016 09:00

You sound very materialistic

Mishegoss · 10/12/2016 09:00

This isn't lighthearted, it's gross. You sound like one of "those" nasty playground mums. Well done...

WhatInTheWorldIsGoingOn · 10/12/2016 09:05

Who gives a shit?

RJnomore1 · 10/12/2016 09:07

I'd judge someone whose child was inadequately shod in poor fitting shoes while they trotted round with status symbol items too op.

Carneddai · 10/12/2016 09:08

As much as it bugs me seeing children in crappy shoes....
Such as those sparkly slip on party type ones. I don't judge as I know how stubborn dc can be!

We were given a bag of clothes. In there were some sparkly bad for feet shoes. Dd(3) insisted on wearing them so I let her wear them on the school run. She struggled in them and I ended up carrying her most of the way.
When we got home and she'd forgotten all about them they went in the charity bag and were never asked for again.

VivienneWestwoodsKnickers · 10/12/2016 09:08

Yep, me too RJnomore1.

Scooby20 · 10/12/2016 09:09

I agree with pp that this isnt lighthearted it's shitty.

When getting ready on a morning I pretty much let toddler ds wear what he wanted. If it was his cheap shoes that he played in the garden so be it.

What does it matter. I have never noticed a brand of pushchair and couldn't care less what other people have.

Original poster

Qwertie · 10/12/2016 09:10

Sorry! Seriously misjudged this. I've reported it. Having a dig at my inner monologue & prejudices rather than the other mum.

OP posts:

SheldonCRules · 10/12/2016 09:11

I judge ill fitting or inappropriate shoes on children too. Likewise clothes. It's a basic of parenting and if it happens whilst the mum/dad is dressed in designer gear or carrying/pushing the latest designer fad it shows where the children lie in priorities.

Scooby20 · 10/12/2016 09:12

No its doesn't sheldon. It's 15 minutes of the day. You have no idea what's really happening.

SaltySalt · 10/12/2016 09:30

No its doesn't sheldon. It's 15 minutes of the day. You have no idea what's really happening

Yes exactly, there could be a hundred reasons why he was wearing " cheap shoes"

NavyandWhite · 10/12/2016 09:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gowgirl · 10/12/2016 09:40

I judge shoes that don't fit properly

StringyPotatoes · 10/12/2016 09:42

I did the school run dressed in designer labels (could justify this. Won't.) on a bloody freezing day last week. I picked up a 3yr old who had a thin coat on, was wearing crocs and didn't have a hat.

You could judge me for that except that:
A) He wasn't my child.
B) His shoes, hat, and warm winter coat were in the back of the car that his dad had driven to work in the early hours of that morning before his mum had got up to retrieve them.

No-one who didn't know us could have guessed that backstory. So don't assume you are above that mum (if she is indeed the child's mum!)

Astro55 · 10/12/2016 09:44

Maybe she put the toddler in the car and then realized he didn't have shoes on and grabbed a pair in the car? DS was often in his older sisters Welles for this reason - he didn't care!!! I loved that he didn't care and wasn't fazed by crap like this

Original poster

Qwertie · 10/12/2016 09:50

Stringy - I know it was a mean sentiment.

She is the mum & they are his normal shoes; He is very well groomed btw much more so than my own DS who looks like Yahoo Serious in the mornings (if you're old enough to remember him :D).

You're right; it is jealously that I don't have a 4x4 or a posh pushchair and I'd relief that I am finally in a place where we can all eat, pay the bills etc. When I was really struggling (even to eat) I always made sure my DS had properly fitted shoes & a warm coat.
Maybe not everyone has such mean thoughts

OP posts:

Camomila · 10/12/2016 09:52

It could be any of a million things, e.g. New car because 2 car seats wouldn't fit in the old one, Icandy present from grandparents, cheap shoes because the child has hurt his foot and those are the most comfy....

Camomila · 10/12/2016 09:53

X-post qwertie

longdiling · 10/12/2016 09:58

At that age my ds had major sensory issues with his clothes - particularly socks and shoes. For him this meant socks had to be pulled up straight at all times and with the toe seams in the perfect place. Shoes had to be Velcro'd on so tightly I used to worry about cutting off the circulation to his feet! We would have to stop continuously on the school run to tighten them while he got more and more upset. I can quite imagine there are other children with sensory issues that manifest in other ways. Perhaps he will only wear these shoes and only loosely. If the child is otherwise well groomed then I highly doubt the mother can't give a shit about shoes specifically.

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