To feel that people are draining me?

[Mincepiesareshit]

Lately it seems that all my friends do is talk constantly about themselves and their problems.

Friend 1- problems in her marriage. Messages me with constant updates about what her DH has done now. Doesn't want to hear any advice, just wants to vent

Friend 2- I think she is bordering on depression, she has recently quit her job to become a SAHM and is struggling

Friend 3- work stress, offloads on me

I know I sound like an awful friend, and I love these women dearly, but it's just feeling like a one way street at the minute. They never ask how I am or what is happening in my life. I had quite a significant medical appointment a few weeks ago,I was really worried and would have liked to talk it over, but all i got was "I'm sure you'll be fine" before the conversation was moved back to my friend's issues

It seems to happen in other places too. I work full time and have young DC, I also volunteer for a group. I recently managed to acquire something quite significant for the group, it took a lot of time and effort and I used contacts I had at work. I didn't do it for the glory, but imagine my surprise when the leader of the group took all the credit to herself, and didn't acknowledge my contribution at all.

DH says it's because I come across as very capable and to always "have it together". I don't feel like this at all, but it does seem that people always want to tell me things /expect me to be the one to do extra work and organising because "mince will know what to do"

Quite frankly I'm exhausted. I came home from work on Friday and finally flopped down with a glass of wine, looked at my phone, and there was another epic message of drama from friend 1. I just couldn't face getting involved so I ignored it, only to have her ring up and ask if I had got it.

I feel like an awful friend, but I'm just so tired and disillusioned, and I feel that everyone just piles stuff on me with no thought to what may be going on in my own life. I want to lock the door and see nobody except my own family between now and February

Can you say something?
Say that you appreciate they are going through xyz but actually You tried to reach out to them and were fobbed off?
I actually stopped a friendship for this kind of behaviour.. it's draining!

Exactly what all my 'friends' are like. I've cut most of them out of my life. Life is too short for that shit

I'm not sure what I could say that wouldn't sound awful. Their problems are genuine, to be fair. It's just that I want to feel happy and content with my own family and I honestly feel that in a way this is stopping me doing that

Now I'm really thinking about it- it extends to other things as well. DHs siblings are all either single or in marriages where someone is a SAHM or works from home. We all live in the same town. DH and I both work full time and have long commutes yet when one of the siblings or PIL needs something, DH and I are the first port of call. DH is currently up on PILs roof fixing some tiles that came loose the other night, he has two brothers who could just as easily do this and who weren't home at 9pm last night after a busy shift

We are mugs, aren't we?

I have friends like this - turn it all back to themselves and not at all interested in our problems or anything. I've known them long enough to know that it is just them and their ways, but it is frustrating so I do get what you mean. No advice really apart from slowly disengage, or just text back ' busy just now , will get back to you' or something. I;ve not dropped my friends as, unlike you, I do have time on my hands to help out, show sympathy, but you sound like you have loads on your plate so you need to be as selfish as they are sometimes and take a step back or just nod and smile and not get too bogged down in their woes. all this is easier said than done - people are very shallow and just worried about themselves ultimately and this does seem to be getting worse I think. its a shame the place where you volunteer were the same too. that really sucks.