AIBU to not invite my neighbour in?

[DaniMackerel]

My neighbour moved in to the flat next door about 2 years ago and she's alway knocking on my door and asking for stuff. She asks to borrow loo roll, ibuprofen, money, my wifi! I always oblige.

Also I often look after her dd and she has never even invited my kids round once. Admittedly her flat is quite small so I can sort of understand this.

Anyway, the other day we were having a small family gathering for dd1s birthday. Neighbour and her dd knocked on the door, said she wanted to give dd1 a birthday treat.....ta-da - a bag of Haribos! I think they wanted to be invited in but I took the sweets, got dd to say thank you then said my polite goodbyes. AIBU to want this woman to go away and leave me alone!

vdbfamily - thanks I totally agree about community support. It's an interesting one as we have a load of really nice neighbours here. There's a retired lady who helps me out with the kids occasionally and I did the shopping for her when she had an operation. There's another mum whose kid I look after and she looks after mine. Neither of these people want much to do with my immediate neighbour. They think she takes the p*ss

Don't lend money, don;t give wifi password. Other bits & bobs are less of a problem - up to you.

She sounds very cheeky with poor boundaries, especially wanting you as (presumably) free childcare. Trying to crash a child's party was a bit much!

What does she do for you in exchange? I help my friends & lend them things - this is reciprocated though.

Please take on board the advice about changing your Wi-Fi password. If she is looking at inappropriate sites it will implicate you. It also makes any financial transaction you carry out insecure.

Do it today

changed my wifi password! Thanks everyone. There was a bunch of stuff that I hadn't even considered!

I agree with others, change wifi..The bits and bobs she borrows as she returns them then I myself would continue to do so... I wouldn't lend money it gets complicated.

As for childcare...If you don't want to do it don't... make and excuse or simply say you don't get the rest. or as is said on here no is a complete sentence.

loads of good advice already given. I think we each have to act according to our instincts- being kind and generous is never wrong, but being pushed and manipulated to give more than you are comfortable with is not ok- as women we are trained to be kind and giving, but its ok to say enough is enough.

She has never ever reciprocated in any way. I don't think she gets it really. She once told me about a friend of hers who had looked after her dd loads of times on my neighbour's request. She said 'and she never asks me for anything in return'. I told her she really ought to offer and not wait to be asked but this seemed to go over her head.

You're being kind because you think she's lonely....but she asks you to have her DD for sleepovers so that she can go out with her friends...?

She's not lonely she a user

Your last post shows that loud and clear - be careful

Exactly, Marci.
There seems to be a lot of threads about people clearly taking advantage of an OP.
She can buy those things, you don't need to offer free childcare and you definitely don't need to look after her child overnight.
You could perhaps have a measured talk with her about this? Happy to be good neighbours but cannot be continually asked for stuff. Not quite sure why you are paying for internet for her ?!? We pay a fortune here.

YANBU. STOP enabling her. Lonely, my arse.

And chance you could introduce to her the annoying neighbour 'Peter' from the other thread?! They sound they'd be really good for each other