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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WWYD?

17 replies

yorkshapudding · 10/12/2016 06:19

DD (3yo) has been awake since 3.30am screaming her head off, getting out of bed and refusing to get back in, throwing toys around... basically making me lose the will to live. As I type this she is still sitting up in bed shouting "mummy,mummy,mummy,mumeeeee!" occasionally pausing to yawn and rub her eyes before she starts again. I've had to walk away from her before I completely lose my shit. This has happened out of the blue after several months of her sleeping really well so I'm feeling very disheartened right now. Not to mention exhausted. I work full time (as does DH) and it's been a long and very busy week. I felt like I was running on fumes even before this Sad

We have a lovely day out planned for today. It has been booked for months and the tickets to the attraction we're going to are non refundable. I don't know what to do now. DH thinks we should still go. I'm not so sure because the idea of dragging an emotional and exhausted toddler around a crowded attraction when we've all been up half the night seems like a recipe for disaster. I am also worried about rewarding her with a special day out after the way she has behaved, it seems to send the wrong message- although she has only just turned three so not even sure whether she would get the message either way!

We have to leave the house at 8am at the latest to catch our train. I'm too tired to make a decision. WWYD?

OP posts:
MsJamieFraser · 10/12/2016 06:24

Go, if her tiredness or moon takes over the enjoyment of the day, you can always come home.

TBH,!id be wondering why her behaviour has suddeny changed, can you not bring her in beside yous to try and get a few hours sleep?

hesterton · 10/12/2016 06:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hollyandtheiveee · 10/12/2016 06:24

Oh it's so hard, isn't it? I wouldn't cancel as a consequence of her behaviour as I think she's too little to really see the link. My three year old can be an awful sleeper - he came into bed with us this week and wouldn't even settle there, tossing and turning. Maybe she was ill or is oricesssjng something new? I'm not sure she was being naughty. Will she not sleep on the way to the event, making her less likely to be grumpy?

Sirzy · 10/12/2016 06:27

I would go

AmeliaJack · 10/12/2016 06:31

I would have thought it might be her teeth bothering her at that age.

It's not naughtiness (though difficult, exhausting and frustrating for you). No child wakes at 3am out of naughtiness.

Go in the day out anyway. Some fresh air and fun might do you all good.

FlowersBrewCake

Original poster
yorkshapudding · 10/12/2016 06:32

She only started sleeping though the night about six months ago. Before that she would take up to an hour and a half to fall asleep each night (had to have one of us with her or she wouldn't settle) and was waking up anywhere from 1- 4 times a night. We would end up taking her into our bed because we were both exhausted and struggling to function at work. Then we kept getting told that we were making a rod for our own back, she needed to learn to self settle etc etc. We finally got her sleeping though the night in her own bed about six months ago. So for the past six months we have stuck to a good bedtime routine and she has been happily going to sleep on her own (after a story and a cuddle) and sleeping through. Then over the last week or so she's been having some separation anxiety, asking me to stay with her until she falls asleep, even getting a bit upset when I go to work which has never happened before. Not sure if it's all part of the same thing?

Its just been such a relief to be able to sleep and not be permanently exhausted for the first time in over two years. Cant believe we're back to square one Sad

OP posts:
PlugUgly · 10/12/2016 06:41

It's all very well people saying you are making a rod for your own back but who are theses people to judge when the only important thing here is that you all get a good nights sleep, it's just a phase, could you not let her sleep with you for the time being? If she is feeling separation anxiety it will help massively. My four all needed to do this at various points and trust me they all decide they want there own space eventually when they have rebuilt their confidence. Hope you have a good day even though you will all be tired, make it a shorter trip perhaps ? Good luck

AmeliaJack · 10/12/2016 06:46

You aren't necessarily back to square one.

These things go in phases.

It will all be fine. Get to bed early tonight if you can to catch up a bit.

Wolverbamptonwanderer · 10/12/2016 06:54

Go. It's not bad behaviour it's just ones of those things. A nice day will do you all good

MrsMozart · 10/12/2016 06:54

Sounds like a clingy phase has started. Both of mine did it. Absolutely knackering but it does pass. You have my sympathy. Maybe you can rest a bit on the train.

Original poster
yorkshapudding · 10/12/2016 07:00

it's just a phase, could you not let her sleep with you for the time being?

We thought it was a phase last time so we started bringing her in with us. It lasted two years. She slept ok in our bed but we got no sleep as she's a very fidgety sleeper. DH and I would get snappy with each other due to the lack of sleep, it started to impact on our relationship. I don't want to go back to that but of the alternative is what we had to deal with last night I don't know what else to do.
Sorry for being negative, I'm just tired. Will get a grip shortly.

Well, we're going. Wish me luck!

OP posts:
AmeliaJack · 10/12/2016 07:19

It's hard to see a way through when you are tired!

It may be teeth, it could be growth spurt, she might have a cold etc coming.

it will get better honest.

coursedarlin · 10/12/2016 07:21

I wish I had the answers. We're on 4.30 wake ups for the past 4 weeks. We've tried warmer pyjamas, a different routine, a grow clock and it's killing me. I work full time as well and it's so draining. I'll be watching everyone's ideas with interest as I can't take much more of the early wake ups. Good luck!

Inthenick · 10/12/2016 08:52

Could you get some advice from a sleep specialist? Sometimes an objective view and fresh head can come up with some better tactics. There's no shame in calling in professional help if things are affecting the whole family negatively.

abbsisspartacus · 10/12/2016 08:57

I would have Calpol and audio booked it tbh sat on the bed and messed with my phone giving presence but not attention iyswim

Original poster
yorkshapudding · 10/12/2016 17:48

Thank you all so much for your lovely posts. I was anticipating just being handed lots of grips to be honest Grin

Remarkably, we ended up having a very pleasant, tantrum free day! DD is absolutely shattered and has looked exhausted (she has bags under her eyes to rival mine!) all day but has been in a good mood and I think it did me and DH good to get out and have fun after such a crap night.

Slightly dreading what tonight will bring..hoping DD sleeps out of sheer exhaustion but who knows Confused

OP posts:
CondensedMilkSarnies · 10/12/2016 17:53

I'm glad you had a nice day Op. Nice bath , story and early to bed hopefully .

Kids are unpredictable , just when you think you've got it sussed ......

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