To think I will never find true love again

[SuperLoveFuzz]

I met my soulmate online when I was 19. I was in the UK and he was in Canada. We met twice and it was immediately perfect. Being so young and the distance, it didn't last. The love felt pure and I truly believe the circumstances were just insurmountable. I've since had a child with an abusive partner (now ex) Now coming out the other side and I fear I'll never find this strength of love again. The thought of having to mix a relationship with my daughter also scares me. Please share your experiences

I'm worried that I squandered my chance at love

In the most gentle of ways ..... hogwash

The love you felt when you only saw someone twice was lovely but likely Romanticized - my view (I know others with disagree) is that until you know someone for a while, Including all the boring things and bad bits through chores and bills and disappointments as well as the good stuff, you are really just skimming the surface

I also believe that there is not just one right person for you - there are many people who could be mr/ms right

In other words don't give up hope

Thank you for replying to something that probably sounds really teenage to you. I was ready to do the move to CA at least as a one year 'working holiday' and see how it went. I wanted to do the bills and 'real life' side of things but it never happened. I'm still vaguely in touch with him and I still have feelings. The relationship with my DD's dad was controlling and abusive almost from the start. We did do the bills and stuff but it was just me panicking and him begging for weed money, it wasn't healthy. I feel like my view of love, life and relationships is really fucked up because of these polar opposite experiences. Now I'm a (fat) young, single mum and I just don't know how or if I can find the right person.

Hang in there - most of us have these wonderful and horrid relationships to start - I believe it's natures way of letting us know what we need and dont need - you are young and you are intelligent and you control your own life (yeah) .... so much more to come ... the pendulum always swings both ways before it hangs in the middle .... you can take these two polar opposite experiences and work out what is important to you in a relationship ....

Thank you. Your reply really touched me. You exude natural genuineness!

Hey super - I've been around - if there was a mistake to be made, I made it - one thing I've learnt is that tomorrow is always a new day and you decide your own path - you may be subjected to things you can't change or control or things that are unfair but you can absolutely decide how you choose to react to things - and what you do tomorrow

I wrote a list after a disasterous relationship (well a string of them) about what I honestly needed in a relationship - and I vowed not to settle for anything less - life is not perfect but it did help me steer clear of the fish that would drag me back under

Find good friends to share things socially, a job you can find satisfaction in, care for yourself and your health, and focus on being the best mum you can .... and anything else is a bonus