Charitable Giving

[GravyAndShite]

I've posted on ethical dilemmas and then noticed that there are posts from two months ago that haven't been answered ... I would really like some advice before bedtime!

as this is aibu - no I don't want a biscuit and no it isn't a stealth boast

I'm so proud of DD6, who with my and DH support has been splitting her pocket money this year 10% charity, 40%saving and 50% free spending.

Today I talked to her about buying some Christmas toys with it for other children who aren't as fortunate as we have been (which isn't hugely fortunate, but I see our standard of living is better than some ATM).

She was beautifully honest with me, but what she said left me almost speechless. She said she was having a hard time wanting to spend it on other people because she wanted it for herself. She wasn't grabby or unkind, she just explained her feelings.

I gave her a hug, and thanked her for being honest about her feelings. I told her I didn't quite know what to say to that and that we could talk about it again later.

Help! Technically it's her money, but we chose an allowance amount that would give her an appropriate amount of weekly spending money and still have enough left over for the savings and charity.

We wanted to help create a habit, not force her to donate or be charitable. How can I encourage her to think of others without forcing it?

I think your DD is great. When she said she 'wanted it for herself' did she say whether she wanted to spend it on something right now or just keep it at the moment.

Could you talk to her about giving money to a charity - maybe it feels a bit odd physically giving things. now I think about it I find it easier to give a money donation than things. For example with the food bank I wonder if I'm picking the correct thing (brand name biscuits that might be more a treat/supermarket and can afford more?)

If she still feels the same (wants it for herself) maybe ask her whether she would like to keep the money in her account and decide after Christmas what she would like to do is it. If she still feels she wants to spend it then maybe you need to let her, as you said it is her money and she has changed her mind.

Singasong that's an interesting point. I suppose I too feel like I prefer to give financial donations so they can be used as appropriately as possible.

I guess I thought it would make more sense to her to give a thing but as she has quite a good grasp on the value of money maybe that would be fine too, maybe even better.

I do think I was trying to move things forward faster than they needed to because it was Christmas time and I find it nice to give a little extra at Christmas.