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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wish he was more interested.

15 replies

Catlady1976 · 09/12/2016 15:12

So we have 3DC. I work very flexibly part time so I suppose I almost take on a Sah role as I only work maybe 8 hours per week.
Dh works 40 hours per week. So I end up doingoing the many club runs which take place weekly with 3 children. Fair play. It's only maybe 20 minutes out of the evening.
Now this time of the year particularly there are extra events such as nativity plays Carol services etc. Now obviously I wfh so can easily do those that occur during the day. I don't think dh even really knows when they are.
Now the point of the Op is that over the years there have been plenty of events evenings and weekends that he could have attended but rarely does. Things like cubs and scout parades and Carol services etc etc. I always go along and feel bad as I am there on my own but it feels like everyone else has the whole family there.
Aibu to wish he would make a bit more effort for these events.
On the plus side he will take eldest to his football matches on a Saturday if it doesn't clash with his matches of course.
Ainu to hope for more interest.

OP posts:
Wineandrosesagain · 09/12/2016 15:34

Have you asked him?

Catlady1976 · 09/12/2016 15:36

When I ask he just says no.

OP posts:
Trifleorbust · 09/12/2016 15:37

Have you asked him why?

Tomselleckhaskindeyes · 09/12/2016 15:39

Why should she ask him? He's a parent he should want to go so your not being unreasonable.

TheNaze73 · 09/12/2016 15:39

Those type of events would bore a lot of people but, he should show some interest

Trifleorbust · 09/12/2016 15:40

Tomselleckhaskindeyes: Is that to me?

Catlady1976 · 09/12/2016 15:42

It is because he funds them boring.He went to a secondary sketch show once and his attitude was that's two hours of my life I won't get back. He actually said this in front of Dd1.

OP posts:
Trifleorbust · 09/12/2016 15:44

Well, it is sad that he feels that way and it would annoy me. YANBU. I wouldn't be okay with him leaving it all to me.

girlelephant · 09/12/2016 15:44

I think he shouldn't have to be asked! He should be proud as a parent & want to attend.

As he doesn't I think you need to demand he goes to the big things

Xocaraic · 09/12/2016 15:46

If the children ask him why he doesn't go and all the other Dads do, he will quickly (IME) change his ways

WhereYouLeftIt · 09/12/2016 15:50

Well, he will reap what he has sown. No help to you right now, but the lack of interest he shows in his children will translate into their lack of interest in him. And they'll be the ones picking his care home.

SpookyPotato · 09/12/2016 15:51

Attending boring things is part of being a parent, I'm sure most of us would rather be sat on the couch reading mumsnet Grin But it's a few hours of his life, which translates to a lifetime of a child remembering their dad was there. Of course if it's not possible to attend then fair enough but it sounds like it is in his case.

Catlady1976 · 09/12/2016 15:54

That's just it though they never ask. Maybe they used to ask but have given up or perhaps it bothers them less than me.

OP posts:
WhereYouLeftIt · 09/12/2016 16:01

"That's just it though [his children] never ask."
Looks like the reaping has begun already Sad.

Katy07 · 09/12/2016 16:11

Just because they don't ask doesn't mean they don't notice! I remember a primary school play when I had no-one in the audience... (I only had a walk-on walk-off part but even so) Sad

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