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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is it me or is mil just a beep?

26 replies

ChBa · 09/12/2016 13:26

AIBU to think that MIL is trying to wind me up and doesnt like me.... (read total b*h)
...she treats my children differently to her other grandchildren. When ds was a baby her dog tried to bite him...it was DS's fault!! She made fun of a picture ds did at school about how he had painted his ears sticking out (this caused an argument) She has forgotten a few birthdays of my children. And the grand sum of dd's xmas pressie last year was a plastic crown which was broken and missing the plastic jewels. Niece and nephew get random presents bought through the year and MIL is always gushing on fb about what they've done. I put a lovely photo on fb of my daughter in her nativity and blurred out all the other children....all she commented on was the blurred out faces and PC gone mad etc....no mention of how lovely she looked.
...she was a nightmare before my wedding. She decided a week before that she was vegetarian and needed a veggie meal. She said she would come in her football top cos it was going to be a casual affair. a few days before the wedding she told us they wouldn't be staying in the hotel room we booked for them as they had someone viewing their house the day after and needed to be home. (yet came to wedding, gushed over niece and nephew, didn't say 2 words to mine, ate the veggie meal I had to beg the hotel to change over, cleared the hotel room of teas, biscuits, toiletries and left) yet day after the wedding she had invited oh's siblings to a meal not far from our house (but not us).
...I asked a while back when they were moving house if we could come pick up the box of toys we'd left at her house so i could swap for more up to date toys.....yet they had looked all over and couldn't find them...now the same toys have started showing up in photos of other grandchildren.
...They never come to visit us...its always us has to visit them. Even when they have visited an eldery relative in a nursing home 15 mins from us, or they will come to watch football 10 mins from us!!!
...she constantly tries to cause arguments between me and sil (tells her i've said something i haven't), she moans to sil and bil if they ever send my children presents without telling her...and god forbid they visit.... they get an earful on the phone then!!!!
Just dont know what her problem is!!!!
(sorry long post...rant over...haha)

OP posts:
usual · 09/12/2016 13:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Imchangingmyname · 09/12/2016 13:30

Wow. She doesn't like you. You don't seem to like her very much. What does your DH think?!

Trifleorbust · 09/12/2016 13:31

She came to your wedding in a football shirt!? YANBU just for that.

Rory786 · 09/12/2016 13:32

poor you, she sounds horrible. I'd be happy she's staying away.

ChBa · 09/12/2016 13:35

nope i dont like her.... even hubby can see she treats ours diff to the others. He was as pissed off as I was with all the wedding stuff, i spent weeks with a constant headache organizing it all and then she went and tried to intentionally wind me up.

And no she didn't come in the football shirt, I got oh to tell her that although casual it was still a wedding...and I told the hotel not to let her in if she came in a football shirt!!!

OP posts:
RaptorInaPorkPieHat · 09/12/2016 13:36

Did she actually go through with the football top? Xmas Grin

ChBa · 09/12/2016 13:37

and for what its worth....she is no longer a vegetarian and didn't like the risotto she got at the wedding..... well the chicken was lovely!!!!

OP posts:
RaptorInaPorkPieHat · 09/12/2016 13:37

Cross posted Smile

Alabastard · 09/12/2016 13:38

YANBU but YABU not to just call her a cunt. This is MN!

DailyFail1 · 09/12/2016 13:38

Just go no contact. It sounds like she won't care anyway. If your Oh wants to keep in touch then make it clear that you and the kids won't have anything to do with her.

CaraAspen · 09/12/2016 13:40

"usual

You can fucking swear on MN."

Maybe the OP doesn't want to follow the herd?

CaraAspen · 09/12/2016 13:41

The swearing thing here...ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz

JustSpeakSense · 09/12/2016 13:41

You obviously don't like each other, you need to cyst down on the time you spend with her.

shovetheholly · 09/12/2016 13:42

God, she sounds awful and deliberately argumentative and confrontational.

I'd cut down on contact and pull right back from her, and - most importantly - make sure you develop your own relationships with other people that are not routed through her. Work with your SIL and don't let her divide and conquer. Change your Fb settings so she can't see anything much.

arethereanyleftatall · 09/12/2016 13:43

Well she clearly doesn't like you at all. Is there a back story?

thewideeyedpea · 09/12/2016 13:45

She sounds like a right fucking pain in the arse.....just like my MIL
I feel your pain

FlappysMammyAndPopeInExile · 09/12/2016 13:51

I'd go nc with a MIL like this - leave her to get in touch with you, and if she does, be distantly polite. If she doesn't - RESULT!!! ()

ChBa · 09/12/2016 14:00

I cant think of why she wouldn't like me? The first time I snapped was with the self portrait painting ds did at school. and her first comment was making fun of the sticky out ears ds had painted. As it happens ds's ears do stick out, and at the time he was a bit self concious about them and his mono brow.... so i snapped and said "yes his ears do stick out and maybe she'd know this is she saw him more" (this was AFTER the wedding...so dont know why she was funny over that)

I did the pulling back, blocked her on fb but it made it worse.... she would text, email and call hubby complaining how mean I was not letting her see her grandchildren. yet when i unblocked her she just carried on ignoring them.

Though she does hate that I get on with hubby's aunt...she picks me and kids up and we go for days out... there was an incident at a funeral where my daughter totally blanked mil but was all over hugging aunt....but she was distant even before that.

as for SIL.... shes fine...we discussed it, i explained I hadnt said what mil had said so were ok. Just dont understand why mil is so against sil and hubbys brother getting in contact with us without her knowing.

OP posts:
ChBa · 09/12/2016 14:03

ANOTHER odd point....we put the house up for sale and bang on 9am every monday morning she phoned oh to ask how it was going.... we took it off the market and all of a sudden no calls at all.... she has no money in our house... she wouldn't get anything from it, we wouldn't be moving closer to her or anything.... so WHY would she be so interested all of a sudden??? (oh god what sort of crazy did i marry into???)

OP posts:
happychristmasbum · 09/12/2016 14:06

It's called triangulation OP. MIL does it so she can keep control of all the family relationships and cause rifts so that she isn't exposed as the shit stirring bitch she appears to be.

I would block her again. Tell DH you won't be responding to her calls - he can pick up the phone and deal with her. Make a real effort to stay in contact with SIL and aunt and other family members and just exclude her.

Just because someone is family doesn't mean they get to treat you like shit. Flowers

Christmassnake · 09/12/2016 14:07

Let it fizzle out ,let dh take over any contact.works for me x

DixieWishbone · 09/12/2016 14:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

alphasox · 09/12/2016 14:27

Yep, thank your lucky stars your bats MIL stays away from you... mine is Batshit annoying and yet she keeps on turning up and staying in my house. I have to make up work meetings and go for lots of long runs to avoid her Xmas Envy

ohfourfoxache · 09/12/2016 14:34

Definitely cultivate relationships with other members of the extended family, completely separate from MIL. You don't need her approval to do this

MrsSnootch · 09/12/2016 14:44

My mother acts strange on facebook and I am now the only family member that is still on facebook with her.

My mother starts insulting people on other peoples facebook walls, people she has never met.

Via facebook my mother messaged my boss and told him I have a issue with illegal substances and because she puts 'LOL' afterwards she thought it was great big joke

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