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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Sleep training from an adults perspective

56 replies

Soubriquet · 09/12/2016 13:00

link

Made me feel a bit sick reading it tbh but AIBU to think this isn't really accurate.

Most adults wouldn't leave their baby to sleep in sick and wouldn't send their children to bed hungry

Sleep training is usually the last resort for most parents and the advice is always to only try it if the child is well in themselves, clean and full.

OP posts:
corythatwas · 09/12/2016 16:22

Surely the only sensible response to a spouse who kept you awake by screaming every time s/he couldn't go to sleep would be LTB if s/he refused to get medical help. Who on earth would put up with that? Would seem like a fairly advanced case of emotional abuse.

Which rather suggests that the two cases are not analogous.

bookworm14 · 09/12/2016 16:24

Oh for christ's sake. I had a choice between sleep training my DD or succumbing to full-blown PND - which I'm sure would have been much better for her 🙄

There is nothing wrong with (gently) teaching your baby to go to sleep by itself.

ScrumpyBetty · 09/12/2016 16:29

What a ridiculous article, I hate the assumption from the AP and natural parents that all sleep training is like this and all sleep training is wrong. Of course, the majority of people who have had to use sleep training, such as myself, would never dream of shutting door and leaving toddler to cry until they made themselves sick. I hate this assumption that ALL sleep training is evil and wrong. There is a middle ground, which does not involve shutting the door and not coming back in. We did gradual retreat and then left to cry for 2-3 mins at a time. I really needed to sleep train as my DS had been waking up 6-8 times a night and I was getting extremely unwell mentally from lack of sleep. The AP parents I knew implied that I was cruel and heartless, which made me furious and it still does. I was on the verge of a breakdown and absolutely needed to sleep train for my own sanity. I hate to think what kind of a mother I would be now if I had not sleep trained.

DailyNameChange · 09/12/2016 16:31

It's very normal to need adult company to drop off at two, and older.

Sleep training isn't a garentee a child will sleep either. A couple of my friends did cc around 7/8 month mark and have children who struggle to sleep.

I did not cry sleep solution, and I still have non sleepers at nearly 8 now, but that's because they have asd and adhd and even with melatonin they struggle to sleep, but manage better than ever, so go to sleep most nights and wake an average of twice a night. (As I have done my whole life) some children are naturally wired up to struggle more with sleep than others, no amount of sleep training can beat out genetics. I was 'trained' with cio version, stuck to strictly as a child, and still as an adult I struggle to sleep alone and can only fall asleep with the TV on. There's no garentee either way.

However, as a side point, have you tried putting a 'bed' for you in your dds room? This is how I got my twins used to sleeping in their beds rather than ours, I slept between their cots and stopped nurising at night and just held their hands/patted backs/shhhd etc until they went back to sleep. Mine often bounced for hours or cried for hours, and atleast lying down I could sleep through some of it and they weren't left alone (important to me because I was) or brought into our bed, and eventually they got the message that sleep happened in their bedrooms not ours. Might be worth a try. It did take along time, but like I say mine have underlying sleep disorders because of their disabilities anyways.

DailyNameChange · 09/12/2016 16:33

Sorry should have said that was to wolver

Tarla · 09/12/2016 17:09

It's all about how happy a family is with the status quo. If they're content with their situation and feel no need to sleep train then that's fine for them, they don't have to. If a family is sleep deprived and unhappy with the situation then there is nothing at all wrong with them using sleep training to try and change the situation. It's all down to what is acceptable and unacceptable for you and your family.

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