How do you NOT worry?

[Depressionisabitch]

How do you not worry?
I'm exhausted, have OCD, take on guilt for the absolutely uncontrollable things in life, bla bla but I don't know how I ended up this way and what is so different about me to anyone else. This is ruining my adulthood - I genuinely feel like there's a piece of me missing that other people have that enables them to cope with the unknown and accept life has risks and live it anyway.

A few tragic things have happened in my life but nothing massively so or directly to me to warrant my inability to accept stuff - eg I wish for another child but then fret that they'll be disabled (which in itself while I know nobody "hopes" for it to happen, wouldn't be the end of the world - I'd cope, I'd love them) but I take it further and fret it would happen because maybe I'm too old (32!) maybe I'm too unhealthy (10lbs overweight) maybe I have bad genes (perfectly healthy child already) maybe Iv thought too many bad thoughts... Maybe it would be my fault. I can write it down and acknowledge its rediculous, exhausting and stupid...

How do you think healthily? Or at least normally? To me sometimes it seems like other people don't even have a conscience compared to me - which I know isn't true. I'm just extra sensetive but I have friends who would say they couldn't give up coffee in pregnancy for example or the occasional sip of wine (nothing major I know - but to me I just didn't get how they didn't feel any guilt (not that they should but that I don't get how you stop that horrible feeling in your gut)

Are you seeing anyone re the OCD?

Sertraline stopped me worrying after years (a lifetime...) of stressing and feeling guilty. Like having the perspective part of your brain switched on, and the nagging voice in your head switched off.

Sorry should have put in OP - I am seeing a psychologist for CBT and taking sertraline

Nothing to add except watching with interest, also have ocd, just self reffered for a top up of CBT 3 years after the last lot as I'm having really bad episodes again and gonna look to start meds again soon

How long have you been taking it for? I took it for 8 weeks then I bottomed out, upped the does and feel magic now.

How much caffeine do you drink?

When I'm well, there is hardly anything I worry about. I don't know how or why, I just don't give headspace to things I can't possibly control. I don't think it's explainable. You're either a person who worries or you're not.

When I'm not well, and I'm going through my equivalent of your worrying, I accept that there's a chemical imbalance somewhere in my brain and need some help. You're already doing that, which can often be one of the hardest things to do. This isn't forever and things will get better, but it might take a while, so don't beat yourself up over the fact that you're not 'fixed' yet.

I do ten deep breaths - if it hasn't killed me in ten deep breaths it probably isn't going to kill me.

Also, each day I start with a fresh page. If people didn't complain about something I did yesterday, it's unlikely they are going to complain about it today.

I don't drink any tea or coffee and try not to drink fizzy drinks though go through phases where I might drink a small bottle of Diet Coke for a couple of weeks then I quit...

I'm in my 3rd week of sertraline but have taken ADs in the past also and never really experienced any miracles other than huge weight gain

Ah, OK. I only asked as cutting out caffeine stopped my worrying. I had counselling as well, which worked.

CBT was very helpful for me.

I find it useful to challenge negative thoughts. Basically argue with yourself in your head - present the positive side or at least the rational side. I often tell myself "yes, so-and-so horrible thing could happen but worrying about it will not help in the slightest, and may actually stop me appreciating all the good things that do happen, so I might as well get on with my day and put it out of my mind!". Obviously it's not that simple and it'll still be on your mind. But if you keep challenging the negative thoughts EVERY time eventually your brain sort of gets used to seeing the positive/dismissing the negative thought so you can cast it aside quicker and get on with your day

I don't know and I am the same although I've never been on meds or offered help. I don't think my GP really understands how much it conditions my whole life and I despair of feeling better. Every now and again (maybe twice a year) I get a day without it and it is WONDERFUL.

Have you tried a mindfulness meditation app? I don't think I suffer from clinical anxiety, but I am a worrier and I find that sometimes it completely debilitates me - I'll stress over something I need to do and then find myself unable to just get on and do it because I've worked myself up into a state. I don't do the meditations as often as I probably should, but I do find them relaxing and they help me focus on the here and now, rather than what could/might happen.

I don't know but I'm marking place..I am a terrible worrier, and drive myself mad stressing about "what if". Not the guilt so much. Just a permanent feeling of unease, intensified when anything makes me anxious.

Sorry, I'm not sure if these are good enough quality to read but it's a list of 'unhelpful thinking styles' and ideas of how to challenge them.

Have you considered hypnotherapy for treating your condition?

Yes I've tried various meditations, currently trying mantra meditation from selfhelprobot site which was as close as I can afford to TM which I would have liked to try but it's out of my budget.

Mindfulness is useful-ish to me.

Yep done lots of self hypnosis and seen a hypnotherapist for about five sessions (can't afford it now)

It's like my brain is determined to be this way! But others don't ... So I'm just really wondering what it is that you think or do that enables you to accept grown up life has risks and ups and downs and just "live" with that

Most people get in their cars everyday to go places accepting risks without thinking - me, I put off taking my test in case I accidentally hit someone one day! It's so stupid but it is me

I think Counselling could help. It's not just you, we all struggle to certain degrees with different anxieties, and you could learn to challenge them within yourself if you wanted to.