to think that everyone is a potential snooper?

[menarefrommarzipan]

We have a babysitter coming to ours tonight (which is a rarity) and waves of anxiety are coming over me about the idea that someone we don't really know that well will be alone in our house, free to roam and poke around at their leisure through all of our drawers and belongings... We don't really have anything to scandalous or embarrassing to hide, maybe some frilly/sexy undies and lube at the most tbh, but they could also look at our bills and receipts, mementos, jewellery, the electrical goods we have in some rooms, etc. Very valuable jewellery and passports will be locked up. AIBU? This person babysits for a friend of mine as well. It's the idea of anyone possibly overstepping boundaries and violating our privacy that makes my skin crawl. i get really uncomfortable when other strangers com into our house like tradespeople and cleaners. I need to be present the entire time they are in our home. Do other people worry about this? Normal people are respectful of other people's belongings, right? I know other people who seem to give their housekeys out to loads of random folk and have babysitters all the time.. Am I weird? or are they?

apologies for the typos!!

Most people are decent and will not trawl through your stuff the minute you go out.
That said, there are some people who will steal anything that isn't nailed down etc, so it is important to find someone you trust. You are leaving your children with them, so if you think they are not decent/ trustworthy then you shouldn't let th babysit your children.

Presumably your friend has used this babysitter for some time with no issues, so you do have references, which is a good thing.

You've booked a babysitter you don't know but presumably you are happy with with the idea of leaving your children with them or you wouldn't have done it. Yet you're worried about them reading personal papers and stealing jewellery

Frankly, people don't really bother doing anything of the sort. You just do what you are in to do, whether it's cat feeding or whatever.

She's seems to be a lovely person and is really good with children, so I'm ok with the idea to have her watch our LO-- but it's the thought of when our LO is asleep and she has time to kill before we return... I mean, do you REALLY know a person and what they're capable of doing? I do have trust issues (shocker there).

YANBU, everyone could be a snooper.

However, most people aren't

The most snooping I ever did as a babysitter was in the fridge/kitchen cupboards...
Leave out snacks and drink supplies, or point out where they are and you will be fine!

To be honest it wouldn't even occur to me that someone would look at my pants! I used to baby sit quite a lot and it wouldn't have even crossed my mind to snoop.

I'm also a bit unsure why you're happy to have her look after your kids, but state you never really know a person and uour worry is only she goes through your stuff? No concern for your kids? 🙄

Anyways, most people wouldn't snoop, no. I babysat as a teen and I would never have dreamed of going through folks stuff when the kids were asleep and my daughter used to baby sit and she'd never have done it either.

bluntness We rarely have a babysitter (once a year if that, and our kid is 9 years old) due to the reason that I don't feel comfortable having just anyone watch our LO-- the person we're using tonight comes with glowing references and we've met her many times so this seems to be the best scenario to use her as a babysitter tonight. (This will be her first time babysitting for us)

DH and I don't have family nearby to watch our LO, so that's not an option for us. Please don't infer that I'm a bad parent or that I have my priorities screwed up. I don't.

I'm just someone who's feels anxious and wants to know what's normal behaviour in this situation.

''i get really uncomfortable when other strangers com into our house like tradespeople and cleaners. I need to be present the entire time they are in our home. Do other people worry about this?''

I doubt there are many people who are totally blaze about strangers in their home. Wanting to be around when tradespeople are in your home and hoping the babysitter wont snoop sounds pretty normal to me

If you couldn't cope with having tradespeople in your house at all or were contemplating cancelling the evening because of leaving the babysitter then you might have to take steps to help your anxiety.

I used to babysit loads, and I'd never have snooped like that. I'd have looked at books on the open shelves, yes, and possibly in the kitchen cupboards if I'd been told I could help myself to things, but that's about it. Otherwise I just sat there and watched TV or did my homework. I really had no interest in anything about their lives!

Little one ? Your DC is NINE

Sounds like anxiety to me. Might be worth speaking to your GP.

You do realise that your bills and electrical items are of about zero interest to 99.9999999999% of people don't you?

What would you rather do? Spend an evening poring through an almost total strangers bank statements and electricity bills or just spend it watching telly?

Why do you think that a babysitter will be in any way interested in your underwear drawer and receipts? Newsflash - what you're spending on your credit card IS NOT THAT INTERESTING. It's quite self-absorbed to think anyone else would be bothered, tbh. Why would you think anyone would go out of their way to look at that sort of stuff?

Babysitter will be sitting watching telly and playing Candy Crush on her mobile, counting the minutes till you get home.

If the kids are old enough to grass on the babysitter she wont rifle through your knickers.

What is wrong with calling a nine year old little one? It's all relative - if your oldest child is 19 then your 9 year old will be a little one to you. Or it's just a figure of speech.

Thanks everyone for your replies. Aderyn I feel the same way- she still IS my LO! :)

I'll probably still be thinking of her as such when she's in her 30s! (poor kid haha)

Why do you think that a babysitter will be in any way interested in your underwear drawer and receipts? Newsflash - what you're spending on your credit card IS NOT THAT INTERESTING. It's quite self-absorbed to think anyone else would be bothered, tbh. Why would you think anyone would go out of their way to look at that sort of stuff?

This is the kind of thing I need to see! Yes! You're right! It isn't interesting at all! So why do I obsess over this sort of thing?!

So most people have a notion in the back of their mind that the babysitter, handyman, cleaner, what have you-- MIGHT be tempted to go through your stuff if you weren't there, but then just the idea gets pushed away as not likely and then people just get on with their normal lives?

I understand where you're coming from.

PPs who've said it's odd to be ok to trust someone to look after DC yet not trust them not to snoop may have a point, but for example I'd trust my SiL to babysit, but I know for a fact that she would snoop if she had the opportunity (and has in the past). There's no malice in it and there's nothing for her to see anyway, but she would.

Needmoresleep Exactly. Do you still use her as a babysitter or anyone else for that matter, knowing that that could potentially happen?

The idea of having that trust and my privacy violated makes me uncomfortable.

We don't generally use a babysitter but not for this reason, we just generally don't need one.

If we needed a sitter I'd be happy enough to ask SiL, but would probably have a quick sweep over the house first to hide anything i'd prefer her not to see or maybe to plant something really shocking in the hope she'd snoop and find it haha

So most people have a notion in the back of their mind that the babysitter, handyman, cleaner, what have you-- MIGHT be tempted to go through your stuff if you weren't there

Very odd. This has never even crossed my mind. Either to do it or to fear someone else would do it. Frankly I can't imagine anything more boring. And I am someone who will look people up on the internet, that according to mumsnet is stalking.

I used to babysit, and I'm a fairly nosy type, but it wouldn't have occurred to me to go looking for things to nose at in people's houses. If something was out on display, I would probably have had a look at it, but the likelihood of coming across anything interesting would be next to zero. These days I'd be discouraged from even doing that by the thought that the parents might have some sort of spy camera on me.