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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Standing outside when not doing P.E.

77 replies

strongswans · 09/12/2016 09:27

Fist time in AIBU! Thought I'd see your opinion before approaching the school, fully prepared to be told IABU. DS 11 is Yr 7, he has a condition which causes severe leg pains so is on crutches and has been for months. This has meant he doesn't take part in P.E. of course. I know school can't prepare an extra lesson or anything but every lesson DS has to just stand outside and watch, there is also another boy permanently not taking part. At the beginning of term I didn't see too much of an issue, but for example last week it didn't get above 1c in the day and he was stood still outside for an hour in his blazer and his legs got worse. This has also happened in the rain. I don't have an issue with P.E. being outside in this weather as they're running around warming up. I just feel DS would be better off in the library for example reading, doing homework, or catching up as his attendance is low due to his condition. There is always a staff member in the library so he wouldn't need supervision. So AIBU to ask he sits in the library instead? Thanks!

OP posts:

Kr1stina · 09/12/2016 09:29

YANBU

He has a disability and they have to make reasonable accomdations for him. Making him stand out in the cold is not reasonable .

RedHelenB · 09/12/2016 09:32

Its a PE lesson so maybe suggest he stays inside and learns the rules of the game/does a project on best ways to keep fit with limited mobility rather than just reading.

BastardGoDarkly · 09/12/2016 09:34

YANBU, I'd call the school and ask, it is making his condition worse, and he's learning nothing. You're in the right, talk to the school.

creakyknees13 · 09/12/2016 09:36

No, that seems harsh. I can understand making someone who forgot their PE kit stand outside and watch (and help with equipment and stuff), but not someone who is disabled. It's a massive waste of his time. Could he not be put in an empty classroom and catch up on homework/reading etc? Or go to the school library.

None of the other students will learn anything about mobility/fitness. PE is literally just doing sport/exercise (unless you do GCSE or A-level PE), so surely he's be bored as anything reading about the rules of basketball.

MrsHathaway · 09/12/2016 09:37

I think in general schools do this to discourage children from wriggling out of PE for feeble reasons. This clearly doesn't apply here and you should definitely speak to the school.

Your suggestions for alternatives show you aren't aiming for a bunk (eg if you'd said can he just come home early).

creakyknees13 · 09/12/2016 09:37

Sorry, I should have read your whole post- yes, I agree 100% with your suggestion about homework/library. Speak to his form tutor/head of year. YANBU

Waitingfordolly · 09/12/2016 09:37

YANBU, it's not his fault and he could be making much better use of the time.

HaveNoSocks · 09/12/2016 09:39

YANBU. That's ridiculous, you would never expect an adult to stand around in the rain for an hour. Surely he can just sit in the library and read a book or do some other useful thing for an hour?

greenfolder · 09/12/2016 09:42

At dds secondary school the standard rule was that iif you well enough to go to school but not PE you were expected to go out and help referee or similar (cant remember exact words). But this did not apply for long term health issues. I think you need to go ans advocate for your boy

Trifleorbust · 09/12/2016 09:43

It's definitely a reasonable request given his condition. Have they given him any reason that this can't happen or has he not asked yet?

Laiste · 09/12/2016 09:45

YANBU. This is clearly a long term situation - they should be finding something constructive and educational for him to do.

Massive hoo har these days about every second at school is valuable and yet there your DS is being left to stand doing nothing for ... how many hours altogether over the school year?

Yes, go in and have a chat about this.

Namechangebitch · 09/12/2016 09:47

Who is responsible for him when he is in the library?
Staff member in library - is it a teacher?
The staff member in the library already has work to do, this increases their work load.
Who will set the work?
Who will mark the work?
What register will he be on?
What if 5 other students see him and produce letters from their parents?
If one child goes to the library to avoid standing outside, many others from all years will expect this treatmen.

It really is not as simple as 'send him to the library'. Pupils can not regularly be left unsupervised for extended periods of time. Work needs planning, setting and marking.

Ask the school, they may be able to organise it but it really isn't as simple as it sounds.

Trifleorbust · 09/12/2016 09:54

It is true that this needs to be planned and he needs to be supervised. That would be workable in our school but isn't necessarily workable in every school or situation. That's why the first step needs to be for him to ask the teacher rather than escalate what may be a non-issue to the head of year or request a meeting with the teacher. Sometimes it is enough just to ask.

IJustWantABrew · 09/12/2016 10:03

Maybe missing the point but you mentioned him being cold whilst outside in his blazer. Why doesn't he wear a coat?
If his illness is worsened by the bad weather can't you get the dr to write a note.
As other people have mentioned best you speak with his head of year/head of pe.

Original poster

strongswans · 09/12/2016 10:03

Thank you for all the replies, I will get DS to speak to the teacher as a first port of call. I'm glad IANBU! I just feel seeing as its long term there could be something more suitable put in place. Namechangebitch I didn't think was as simple as just send him to the library, I was just trying to think of a suitable alternative for DS, he wouldn't need any work marking or setting. Ds's condition is new and we have only been dealing with it for a year so finding my feet with it all.

OP posts:

littlesallyracket · 09/12/2016 10:08

If it wasn't affecting his condition then I'd say YABU, but if it makes his pain/stiffness worse then YANBU. The solution might not be as simple as him just going to the library, but if standing in the cold for an hour is difficult for him then an alternative does need to be found I think.

centreyourself · 09/12/2016 10:31

Jesus I really hope you're not head of pastoral care at your place of work namechange.
Got to keep it simple for the staff, haven't we? It's bad enough that he might be standing there thinking "I wish I could/jump/kick the ball like that", thereby rubbing his nose in his disability, but standing for an hour in the pissing rain or freezing cold doing so?
It's Dickensian.

centreyourself · 09/12/2016 10:32

Meant to say run/jump/kick the ball

Trifleorbust · 09/12/2016 10:39

centreyourself: Oh stop it. Schools do not have unlimited resources to supervise students out of lessons. Yes, ideally he can be placed elsewhere. Putting a coat on him is not "Dickensian".

Namechangebitch · 09/12/2016 10:41

Yes it is crap. Teachers agree, they protest about the rules and regulations but they are slaughtered in the press and criticised by parents.

If he was in the library with no set or marked work and there was any kind of inspection the school would be crucified. If he wasn't on a register and being supervised, by a member of teaching staff and there was a fire alarm/emergency etc the school would be in big trouble.

Teachers would love more flexibility but the governments the public vote for want more rules.

centreyourself · 09/12/2016 10:49

Fair play for explaining a bit more and not going down my throat name
I agree with you about the rules/accountability business and that it's all the systems that are in place rather than the callousness of individuals.
It's hard not to feel sorry for the boy though. Is there nothing to be done in situations like this?

dingdongthewitchishere · 09/12/2016 10:49

Namechangebitch

that sort of comments are the reason why parents lose all respect for schools. Increasing the staff workload because a kid on crutches sits in the library for one hour? Bloody hell, we are dealing with humans, an 11 year old boy here. Do you think leaving kids standing in the rain is teaching them something? I hope you don't work in a school, and refuse to even start a discussion to help pupils.

Trifleorbust · 09/12/2016 10:53

dingdongthewitchishere: If teaching staff were not already at breaking point with workload no-one would bring that up. Allocating a member of staff to supervise the boy without timetabling them (so in their non-contact lessons) could remove the only lessons each week they have to plan and mark. It is not an insignificant concern. Obviously schools are not allowed to remove the bare minimum of preparation time they have to give to staff, but it is comments like this that make teachers lose respect for parents.

Namechangebitch · 09/12/2016 10:57

The trouble is in a school of 1000 kids they all have individual needs. Every child is special but that is not how schools are funded.

Teachers would love to be to say " you know what, this marking isn't a priority I need to sort of that issue with PE, set 2 can wait a bit ", but if they do this there is a thread on MN 'my child's book has not been marked'.

If the OPs son goes to the library it has to be planned and organised and tracked. It can be done, but it pisses me off when everyone assumes it is not a big deal. Sorting out several 'little' issues a day IS a big deal.

Namechangebitch · 09/12/2016 11:00

Dingdong it isn't teachers who make the rules. Why blame teachers?

The governments the public, YOU, vote for make these rules.

Teaching unions constantly complain about red tape. This is what they mean.

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