Worried about children's reactions to Christmas presents

[Lionking1981]

I know I am being silly but I feel terrible. My kids 8 and 6 very much believe in santa but I have not had a great year financially. Their Christmas lists were huge and included everything from the adverts. I come from a working class culture that you do without in November and December to give the children everything you can't afford all year round. It sounds stupid but I believed in santa until I was 11 because I just knew my family couldn't afford the stuff we had at Christmas. I didn't know that we were eating healthy meals while my parents were living on beans on toast.

Dh is from a middle class family and thinks we are completely mad. This year the kids are older and asking for more expensive stuff.

8 year old has a kindle, a furby connect, a playmobil set and 2 books. 6 year old has a 2ds, furby connect, a little lego set, a game and 2 books. I'm worried they are going to be very disappointed on Christmas Day and even my mum said it didn't look a lot all wrapped up but we only have 250 pounds left until next payday. We have got some lovely plans over Christmas seeing family, going on a santa day out and the panto and I'm hoping this will mean more to them than the commercialism. But they are used to having a big pile of presents and this will not look as much. I will be gutted if they are sad when they compare their cousins gifts. Dh thinks I am being ridiculous and I probably am.

[Cagliostro]

I think there's nothing wrong with learning that if you want a big expensive gift (whether it's from family or santa) that it means less to open. They are a good age for that :)

[MrsHathaway]

I have an 8 and a 5 and I'm having similar wibbles. It's not that they'll complain about what they have, but that they might feel disappointed about the quantity. Certainly 8 last year at 7 was all about the thrill of unwrapping, even when it was socks/selection box/comic etc.

The cereal selection box idea is absolutely fabulous. I just love the idea of buying a few little things you normally say no to, under a tenner each probably.

Mine get "Christmas Coke" which is the caffeine-free one. They are normally on a total cola ban so they think gold Coke is just the most glamorous thing in the world. This year 5 has additionally put "a can of fizzey Vimtoe" on his list.

[TheSnorkMaidenReturns]

I think those sound like great presents. Remember you know you got the furby connects half price but they don't. A kindle and a furry connect is very generous. My kids would get one of these as a main present, which would be from us. Only the stocking comes from Father Christmas. They've rumbled that Mother Christmas is more like it .
Don't spend any more just for the sake of more under the tree. It's not worth getting into debt for. I'm with your DH - keep your £250 for things you really need.
If you don't think this looks enough, why don't you do something like make a lucky dip box of sweets, in a box of shredded coloured paper from magazines? It could make them laugh and you all have fun together.

[LuchiMangsho]

Obviously your background has influenced your thought process.
In comparison the kids here are getting 50 pounds worth of gifts in TOTAL. And I would say we are extremely comfortably off.
I told them to ask Santa for one thing from the time they could 'ask' or 'write'. And we give them a couple of things more. That's it.
I cannot imagine going into debt for one day (even a wedding!). And I certainly cannot imagine kids being disappointed with presents. I would be very cross if they were disappointed no matter what they got.
Also your story of parents going without for months to afford presents- if I found this out as an adult I would be extremely mortified and saddened and it would have somehow tainted those Christmas memories.

[Dagnabit]

As others have said, you have a lovely lot of presents for your dc and by all means, pad out 'the haul' with inexpensive gifts...my kids love tat that sort of thing, sometimes makes me wonder why we bother with the more expensive stuff! Don't get into debt or make the rest of the month financially difficult; it will cause tension between you and dh and that will affect the atmosphere.

On a side note, what a lovely thread

[SEsofty]

That's way more than mine are getting and I thought I was being too generous

[Hoppinggreen]

If my DC had a negation be reaction to those presents then I would think that I was going wrong somewhere.
I'm sorry OP but those are great presents and I don't know who started the whole " pile" of presents thing ( mostly people who like to put photos of it on FB I imagine) but it's bloody ridiculous, especially if it causes financial hardship.
We are pretty well off but my DC get about 3 presents each at Christmas and one of those is usually a book. They also get a stocking full of little treats " from Santa" and they are happy with that.
Any complaints about lack of or quality of presents and they would lose them pretty quick.

[randomeragain]

I'm sorry but this is madness. Does " stuff" make people happy? What message is this giving out?
We live in terraced housing, so were very close to the oneupmanship of Christmas gifts. It was tough but I stuck to my guns and refused to take part.
Of course the kids had gifts but not great sacks full or the wow pile.
I honestly believe they are more compassionate and balanced people because they did'nt have this crazed indulgence coming their way.

[Goingtobeawesome]

Purely on your OP I think if your children are disappointed with those gifts then it's a good time to start talking about the real world.

I've said it before but when I had my third child I started saving £10 a week for Christmas. I don't miss it but would struggle to pay for Christmas out of November and December's money and there's nearly always enough to cover presents and food.

I always try and get my children what they would really like but have no problem saying no if it's too much money. Mine are 11-15 and the youngest has asked for something that is too much even if all the family chip in but it's not the only reason he isn't getting it. He has no idea about it being a lot of money but there was no issue when we said no.

The more you give them the more you have to give them the next year. Start small when a cardboard box gives them pleasure as when they get influenced by the adverts and want fancy gadgets they'll appreciate it more. If you're buying a toddler an iPad for example what are you going to have to buy them when they are 12 and have bigger expectations as they haven't learnt that santa isn't real and money doesn't grow on trees.

[BitOutOfPractice]

Oh OP the pressure just feels crazy doesn't it?

I hope this thread has reassured you that youa re doing just fine and I'm sure your DC will love all their presents

Have a happy Christmas

[3boys3dogshelp]

It sounds like a lovely pile of Christmas presents to me. Your dc are around the age when the things they ask for are smaller and more expensive, so the wrapped pile of presents doesn't have quite the same 'wow!' Factor as it would have done when they were preschool age, but it sounds like you have really listened to what they want. that will keep the magic of Santa going far longer than a huge pile of tat.

[LagunaBubbles]

When it comes to list making i say to the kids make a lost of ideas (i never use the word 'want' as thats when they expect to get it all). I then say i/santa will choose from their ideas a few gifts to give them. They are always happy with that

That's exactly what we do (boys now 8, 14 and 23!), has always worked for us. That way Santa brings them one or 2 things of it and we say we will buy a few to. And then they are getting something they want plus its still a bit of a surprise. We do end up getting other stuff not on the list to.

[LagunaBubbles]

This year for their main presents the younger 2 had Nintendo DS on their lists, which we have managed to pick up second hand. No boxes but we will put them in a nice gift bag, they wont care they arent new. Means we could get them other stuff to.

[ChewedUpRope]

You've already spent a lot, and you're still desperate to spend more (to the point of anxiousness). Your level of concern is not normal.

Maybe you should take this as an opportunity to start instilling in your children a sense of Christmas as a time of fun and family rather than just gifts and money. That way you might avoid passing on this excessive concern with it all that you've obviously picked up from your parents/childhood.

[glueandstick]

That sound like a huge amount of gifts and slightly ludicrous that you need to worry how they will react!

They are gifts and gifts should be appreciated no matter what. The demanding and having so much stuff is pretty sad actually.

I'd say we are probably considered higher end earners and we're only doing a stocking with a soft toy, book and a few bits and pieces like bath bombs. Granted ours is only little but we don't see the need for the mass consumerism that happens.

My husband has a couple of books coming and a stocking with bits and bobs in. I'm not sure I've actually got anything at all because I had new shoes and there is nothing else I need.

Each to their own I suppose. We're just looking forward to nice food, films and the brakes put on life for a week.

[Lionking1981]

Thanks all for your responses. I know I am being mad. Mistress Merryweather the present counting and other people's reaction to it . My mum is as bad as ever. When I went to see her yesterday, she was gleefully eating tinned tomatoes on toast for her tea because she had spent all her money on presents and Christmas food.

Thankyou for the toothbrush idea. My kids were begging me for electric toothbrushes a month ago and I can get them for a couple of pounds. They will love those.

And Picard's, thankyou so much for your kind offer. That is so lovely of you but I think they will be happy with what they have.

[NovemberInDailyFailLand]

I don't think there is any need to 'bulk out the piles'.

My three (20, 14, and new baby) receive modest gifts and always have done. We're comfortably off 'middle class', but don't think piles and piles of items at Christmas is necessary, or a good thing.

[GrumpyOldBag]

That's a huge amount of presents.

My kids get much less than that.

Maybe it's time to teach them there's more to life than huge piles of gifts and the true value of things?

[ErnesttheBavarian]

OP, I think it sounds fine.

My problem is that my older dc don't want or need or ask for anything. No relatives buy them anything either. So it looks like they'll get a couple of tiny things and a bit of money. 8 year old dd however is exremely easy to buy for, want loads of stuff and will probably end up with a big pile. I am worried about the huge disparity.

[KERALA1]

I get stocking fillers from our local charity shop. No point spending £6 on a book that will be read once, they are 50p in the charity shop. Ditto jewellery - for £1 per item there are nice necklaces and earrings great for stockings. Have you got a Tiger shop near you?

TBH I would be more worried if my kids reacted negatively to the presents you describe. I would worry I had raised hideous Verruca Salt type children. Am sure your children aren't like that and will be thrilled.

[ohtheholidays]

If your worried you could make some lovely homemade presents for pennys.

If they like baking and you have any empty jars and any biscuit/cake or cookie ingredients in the house you could make them up baking jars like these
lifeandcupcakes.wordpress.com/2013/01/10/diy-gifts-baking-mixes-in-jars/

If they like colouring you can make multi coloured shaped crayons with broken bits of crayons(that would normally be chucked away)and some cookie moulds,if you look on here there's tons of shapes and ideas
www.google.co.uk/search?q=diy+crayons&biw=1366&bih=645&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiYy4KI7-bQAhUqLsAKHeJtAhYQ_AUIBygC#imgrc=_

And you could print of some Christmassy pictures,roll them up and tie them with some ribbon to go with the crayons.

You could make your own playdough or air dry dough,add different fragrances/glitter and stick in a cheap nice box or tin(you can get some in the 99p/£ shops)and stick some cutters with it.

Make some cones of snowman soup,all 5 of our DC went mad for that the first time I made it and it's really cheap to do.

You could make some chocolate spoons,tea spoons with a block of chocolate melted on to it that the children then stir into warm milk.

Make them a movie box each or between them,you can pick up some great new DVD's in the 99p and pound shops,stick some packets of popcorn in there and a bag of sweets each and a carton or can of drink each wrap it/them up and tie with a big bow.
The movie boxes you can do for about £4 each some of the Poundshops have lovely large popcorn style plastic boxes.

But for what it's worth what you've got your DC does sound really lovely and I bet they'll have a great Christmas Day.

[LuchiMangsho]

See I would be really upset if my mum wasn't going to eat properly for 3 weeks for the sake of some presents. My mum may see that as a parental sacrifice (she won't) but I would find it quite horrifying.
When I was 7/8 I wanted to take up an expensive hobby. My parents were middle class academics (not in the UK)and they explained to me kindly that I could but would have to give up XYZ. I agreed but after a term I didn't enjoy it and so went back to my earlier stuff. Without being miserable my parents and I have always talked of money. Similarly DS at nearly 5 is already aware of the 'cost' of things. Last time for his birthday he asked for something that was 60 pounds (we were in Mothercare and he could see the price label). I told him that was far too much on one toy and he accepted it. I didn't feel guilty. I could have spent the 60 quid but that kind of money on a toy wooden garage is madness. As I said, I had a v comfortable upbringing and so do the kids so I don't feel any shame/guilt in saying 'sorry pal that's too expensive.'

[MumOfTwoMasterOfNone]

Sounds a very lovely lot of presents OP. Our DSs main present was £15 from eBay 2nd hand.

[Goldenhandshake]

They sound like lovely gifts, if you want to bulk it out I would suggest some more books, poundland always have plenty, similarly Poundland, Wilko's, B&M and Home Bargains always do lovely cheap craft sets and books. A colouring book and set of crayons or felt tips would be good too and are not too expensive.

[Badders123]

You are suffering from the dreaded Xmas twitch op
It's a thing
Really