Worried about children's reactions to Christmas presents

[Lionking1981]

I know I am being silly but I feel terrible. My kids 8 and 6 very much believe in santa but I have not had a great year financially. Their Christmas lists were huge and included everything from the adverts. I come from a working class culture that you do without in November and December to give the children everything you can't afford all year round. It sounds stupid but I believed in santa until I was 11 because I just knew my family couldn't afford the stuff we had at Christmas. I didn't know that we were eating healthy meals while my parents were living on beans on toast.

Dh is from a middle class family and thinks we are completely mad. This year the kids are older and asking for more expensive stuff.

8 year old has a kindle, a furby connect, a playmobil set and 2 books. 6 year old has a 2ds, furby connect, a little lego set, a game and 2 books. I'm worried they are going to be very disappointed on Christmas Day and even my mum said it didn't look a lot all wrapped up but we only have 250 pounds left until next payday. We have got some lovely plans over Christmas seeing family, going on a santa day out and the panto and I'm hoping this will mean more to them than the commercialism. But they are used to having a big pile of presents and this will not look as much. I will be gutted if they are sad when they compare their cousins gifts. Dh thinks I am being ridiculous and I probably am.

[Clandestino]

Well, that's bonkers. IMHO, children should be aware to certain extent that Christmas presents are limited by the budget of the family.
I seriously hate that Santa going over board crap. Why this ridiculous need to get yourself in debt because your children will only be happy if they can drown in that mountain of presents? We managed to commercialise the shit out of Christmas to the extent that we are willing to make it one of the most stressful periods of,the year because of the financial expense, chasing after presents instead of simply buying few of them and then concentrate on having a good family time.
And then your child goes back to school in January and sees that the little scumbag who had spent the whole time bullying him got a quad bike from thevfairy tale creature in red coat because Santa could afford it.

[ItsRainingDeer]

Mine (4&7) will be getting a soft toy/brio tracks (only requests to Santa) a book and DVD each, plus some fruit/chocolate in their stockings. From us they will get a board game (joint) and box of Lego (joint) and each two photo frames with photos from the past year and some more books.

Whatever happens, Santa will have a hard time upstaging last year when they were astounded with what they got, so it'll have to do. They'll probably just be happy DH is home for a few days regardless of what they get.

[Sierra259]

Agree with pp that it's good for children to learn that asking for more expensive presents = less presents overall. I'm sure if you managed to get them some of the main stuff that they wanted, they'll be more than happy. I personally would prefer to get the one thing I desperately wanted, rather than a big pile of random stuff!

My mum is terrible for wanting loads of stuff under the tree, but a lot of it is practical stuff like pyjamas or toiletries that she'd bought months previously or in offers. And she never spent more than she could afford. I just have a budget in my head for each of the DC. When it's gone, it's gone!

[PigletWasPoohsFriend]

Tempted to go out and spend half the rest of our monthly budget on them but dh not in agreement and he's probably right.

No probably about it. He is right.

If you do do it he would be extremely annoyed and I wouldn't blame him.

That is a very good amount of presents and certainly not cheap.

[miserablesod]

I never get into debt over Christmas. The children get what i can afford. When it comes to list making i say to the kids make a lost of ideas (i never use the word 'want' as thats when they expect to get it all). I then say i/santa will choose from their ideas a few gifts to give them. They are always happy with that. They always get a few extra bits like colouring books, pencils, books, games etc.

[Sierra259]

I like that phrasing of an "ideas" list miserable. This year is the first that DC1 has written to Father Christmas, so I'll definitely be pinching that in the future!

[ToastByTheCoast]

I think you have a lovely Christmas planned but the day trips of course add up financially, as do batteries for electronic stuff and children don't realise that at 6 and 8. Gift vouchers too don't get the same wow factor as presents at that age.

I pad the main presents out with cheaper stuff in bigger packages....a cereal selection pack each, chocolate selection pack, tube of pringles, maybe a big puffy pack of fancy popcorn or microwave popping corn, new toothbrushes, toothpaste, socks, new pyjamas. One year I bought boxes of instant cake mix from the supermarket baking aisle....they do lots of character ones....it's another box to unwrap and something to do in that downtime between Christmas and new year. I have also just bought a 'hedgehog house' in Aldi....as a family present for all of mine to share....they had wicker ones or moss and net. About £7.. Not sure how I will get it wrapped but will make a huge and exciting parcel under the tree! Afterwards just goes under the hedge in the garden and hoping it gets inhabited!

Don't forget they will probably get presents from grandparents and family too so will have lots of other unwrapping to do.

Merry Christmas!

[iloveberries]

If you want to bulk out the stocking you could buy some big foodstuff they're not normally allowed?
My DS always gets a large box of coco pops own brand equivalent and thinks it's great as he knows I'd never buy it
Also I think ahead to all he will need this year and buy it (PJs, new clothes etc).

Sounds like a lovely pile already TBH and a lovely mum

[Sixisthemagicnumber]

That is a lot of quite expensive presents given the ages of your Children. I don't know why you are worried. You have probably spent at least an average amount already. I think the difference is that lots of people who are on strict budgets for Christmas would probably have bought one less main item and spent that money on lots of small inexpensive novelty - treat presents instead so that their is a big pile of presents but for the same cost.
You do not need to go and spend any more money. You mentioned your mums comments about the size of the presents piles soon gather she is involved in your lives and will be buying stuff for the kids too?

[AppleAndBlackberry]

My kids (7 and 5) are getting hatchimals, stockings, books, colouring pens and a dressing up outfit each from us and I'm expecting them to be over the moon. They'll get some nice presents from grandparents too, but not on the day. We could afford more but we don't believe in massive piles of presents, we aim for 3-4 plus stocking.

[mathanxiety]

Buy a pile of chocolate and let them eat it all.

Your DH is right.

Manage their expectations beginning next year.

[Sixisthemagicnumber]

Thinking about it a bit more and the title of the thread and I think it is a bit shocking that you are worried about your children's reactions. If children behave disappointed or ungrateful on Christmas Day they deserve to have all their presents returned to the shop.

[KERALA1]

God we are I suppose high income bracket as are most of our friends and your kids are getting way more than any of ours. The kindle alone was our main present last year. Playmobil the year before yet yours are getting all at once! Baffled that you would be feeling guilty what else would you get?

[Sirzy]

Sounds like loads to me.

And why waste money on a pile of tat from the pound shop that will probably never be looked at again?

[crazyoldc4tlady]

I find your gifts very expensive; actually, sounds excessive to me

[GloriaGaynor]

Your husband's right, you need to get a grip and stop being seduced by materialism.

[NiceFalafels]

Santa only brings a small pillowcase of gifts in my house. Even then they are quite practical. New pants, chapsticks, key rings, chocolate, cheap electric toothbrush, gloves. My parents and my husbands parents did the same and we all believed in santa till 11.

We (and others) give the main gifts. Means my kids can appreciate that people have made an effort

You and your mother have slipped into the whole commercial materialistic routine.

It's worth explaining beforehand that their list is very expensive and santa might only be able to afford a couple of things.

[Mrsemcgregor]

I was heading down the slippery slope of getting too much for Christmas. Last year I got a £500 bonus just before xmas and stupidly went completely overboard and set the bar too high for future Christmases.

When I realised (in October!) that my kids (4&7) were expecting the same again this year I had to sit them down and have a chat. I told them that santa gets them their stocking (mainly chocolate and silly bits) and 1 of the presents under the tree. I told them the rest is brought by daddy and me and that this year we couldn't afford to spend lots. They were fine with this and I keep reminding them to manage their expectations.

This year they have a kindle each (£30 Black Friday), some books, 1 computer game each (second hand Cex) and I have been bulking up the pile with board games from charity shops. They are great because they cost like £2 and are nice and big to wrap!

Santa also brought us a family gift of a NES entertainment system. Buts that's the lot!

[NiceFalafels]

I've spent about 25 on the stocking and 30 on the main gift.

[GloriaGaynor]

Same here Falafels.

I think it's better not to write lists, we never did.

If you can't put a pony, Xbox, quad bike, holiday in Disneyland on a list, you won't be disappointed. It raises expectations and leads to disappointment.

[KERALA1]

My kids lists were quite modest. They dont watch channels with bloody adverts. Dd2 is getting a pogo stick and a china doll and books and little bits in stocking. Your list sounds almost ott to me.

[eyebrowsonfleek]

I made my kids request up to 3 things which made them think about what they actually wanted.
Your kids have a decent haul there. Only extra you need is some chocolate.

[Fadingmemory]

The problem is not the presents which sound great to me but your fear that the children will be disappointed and complain. If they are and they do this is not through any fault of yours and it may provide a valuable lesson to them. Perhaps there may be an opportunity to explain to them about money being tight - you can do so in a way that does not imply that anyone is to blame - just circumstances you cannot control. It is all too easy to be drawn into the trap as a PP has said.

[NiceFalafels]

The main thing for us will be spending quality time with family.

[PberryT]

Yabu

Thank God your dh has his head screwed on and can see debt isn't worth trying to impress your kids for!

Manage their expectations, loads of kids would be over the moon to get the gifts your dcs are getting. Stop buying so much stuff for them.

I am astounded by your thought process tbh.