Worried about children's reactions to Christmas presents

[Lionking1981]

I know I am being silly but I feel terrible. My kids 8 and 6 very much believe in santa but I have not had a great year financially. Their Christmas lists were huge and included everything from the adverts. I come from a working class culture that you do without in November and December to give the children everything you can't afford all year round. It sounds stupid but I believed in santa until I was 11 because I just knew my family couldn't afford the stuff we had at Christmas. I didn't know that we were eating healthy meals while my parents were living on beans on toast.

Dh is from a middle class family and thinks we are completely mad. This year the kids are older and asking for more expensive stuff.

8 year old has a kindle, a furby connect, a playmobil set and 2 books. 6 year old has a 2ds, furby connect, a little lego set, a game and 2 books. I'm worried they are going to be very disappointed on Christmas Day and even my mum said it didn't look a lot all wrapped up but we only have 250 pounds left until next payday. We have got some lovely plans over Christmas seeing family, going on a santa day out and the panto and I'm hoping this will mean more to them than the commercialism. But they are used to having a big pile of presents and this will not look as much. I will be gutted if they are sad when they compare their cousins gifts. Dh thinks I am being ridiculous and I probably am.

[LilQueenie]

I agree I picked up the 2017 shopkins annual in poundland today. Its still sitting at £7.99 in whsmith.

[unlimiteddilutingjuice]

Not everything in Pound land is rubbish Randomer One of Ds's favorite books was a pound land present from last year!
I find the quality variable but there's some good stuff in there if you look.

[dangermouseisace]

Kids will be fine they've got lovely presents and will be busy. I come from a similar background…my parents would bring so much stuff my kids would be fed up opening things and now DS1 (now 10) in particular is quite adamant he would rather have just a couple of things that he really wants rather than lots of unnecessary presents.

If they have a stocking put an apple and a satsuma in it, some chocolate and the books in and there you go!

They will have their devices which you will have to prise them away from…if any another present gets a look in on Xmas day I'd be surprised!

[newbiz]

I think it sounds fine. My kids get 8 presents each and these always include an annual, a selection box and pyjamas. One has a stunt scooter (£60) as a main present. One has a CD player (£20) as a main present and one has a Stussy sweatshirt (£50) as a main present. The rest includes books, underwear, CD's, an itunes voucher each and a Lil Mouse. We can afford more but that's it, we simply won't buy more and the kids know that.

[BellaVida]

They will love their gifts and be too glued to the kindle and DS to bother! If you really want to and can afford it, you could go to a pound shop or similar and get a few bits to bulk it out- bubble bath, chocolate coins, socks, colouring pack, stickers etc. That's what I do and it always goes down well!

[Jiggl]

I think that's a nice little haul Lion

I'm keen to keep presents to a modest level, DS is 4. He'll get a main present off Santa (Transformers) plus a surprise. We will also get him something from mum and dad, and he'll get some small stuff in his stocking. When I factor in the 4 more gifts from godparents/ Grandparents, its quite a lot for a boy that age.

What he will love more is that he gets to spend time with his mum and dad - full time in nursery is tough and he adores it when we pick him up early or take a day off. So Christmas for us will be about movies and popcorn, woodland walks, nice trips out and about, and visiting family.

My cousins grew up with a mum who goes overboard. They in turn go overboard with their children - one posted a picture on FB a few years ago with about 25 wrapped gifts for her child. Then that child would get the same again when she went to her dads and another mountain at each grandma. Far far too much for a small child and its increasingly tougher as they get older to match the previous year as toys and gadgets get so much more expensive as they get older.

[salsmum]

That sounds like a Decent pile of gifts to me usually kids forget that they've wanted something on an advert a week or two after....I'm in my 50s and cannot remember the toys I got as a child from my widowed mother but do remember getting excited about a colouring in wipe off table cloth lol I do remember relatives who visited (sadly no longer here) decorating the Christmas tree while playing Christmas songs and the chaos of having so many relatives at the Christmas table. My adult self knew that mum went without to make our day special although we didn't have much. I would go into the pound shop and buy those craft bits that they sell and make some xmas type decorations and put those soppy xmas songs on that's what your children will enjoy and remember.

[Bumpsadaisie]

Are you mad OP, (meant kindly!) Your kid is getting a Kindle and a Furby and you think it may not be enough!!

[randomeragain]

every thread of this nature is largely met with " why don't you buy more garbage from poundland"

[Badders123]

You are suffering from the dreaded Xmas twitch op
It's a thing
Really

[Goldenhandshake]

They sound like lovely gifts, if you want to bulk it out I would suggest some more books, poundland always have plenty, similarly Poundland, Wilko's, B&M and Home Bargains always do lovely cheap craft sets and books. A colouring book and set of crayons or felt tips would be good too and are not too expensive.

[MumOfTwoMasterOfNone]

Sounds a very lovely lot of presents OP. Our DSs main present was £15 from eBay 2nd hand.

[LuchiMangsho]

See I would be really upset if my mum wasn't going to eat properly for 3 weeks for the sake of some presents. My mum may see that as a parental sacrifice (she won't) but I would find it quite horrifying.
When I was 7/8 I wanted to take up an expensive hobby. My parents were middle class academics (not in the UK)and they explained to me kindly that I could but would have to give up XYZ. I agreed but after a term I didn't enjoy it and so went back to my earlier stuff. Without being miserable my parents and I have always talked of money. Similarly DS at nearly 5 is already aware of the 'cost' of things. Last time for his birthday he asked for something that was 60 pounds (we were in Mothercare and he could see the price label). I told him that was far too much on one toy and he accepted it. I didn't feel guilty. I could have spent the 60 quid but that kind of money on a toy wooden garage is madness. As I said, I had a v comfortable upbringing and so do the kids so I don't feel any shame/guilt in saying 'sorry pal that's too expensive.'

[ohtheholidays]

If your worried you could make some lovely homemade presents for pennys.

If they like baking and you have any empty jars and any biscuit/cake or cookie ingredients in the house you could make them up baking jars like these
lifeandcupcakes.wordpress.com/2013/01/10/diy-gifts-baking-mixes-in-jars/

If they like colouring you can make multi coloured shaped crayons with broken bits of crayons(that would normally be chucked away)and some cookie moulds,if you look on here there's tons of shapes and ideas
www.google.co.uk/search?q=diy+crayons&biw=1366&bih=645&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiYy4KI7-bQAhUqLsAKHeJtAhYQ_AUIBygC#imgrc=_

And you could print of some Christmassy pictures,roll them up and tie them with some ribbon to go with the crayons.

You could make your own playdough or air dry dough,add different fragrances/glitter and stick in a cheap nice box or tin(you can get some in the 99p/£ shops)and stick some cutters with it.

Make some cones of snowman soup,all 5 of our DC went mad for that the first time I made it and it's really cheap to do.

You could make some chocolate spoons,tea spoons with a block of chocolate melted on to it that the children then stir into warm milk.

Make them a movie box each or between them,you can pick up some great new DVD's in the 99p and pound shops,stick some packets of popcorn in there and a bag of sweets each and a carton or can of drink each wrap it/them up and tie with a big bow.
The movie boxes you can do for about £4 each some of the Poundshops have lovely large popcorn style plastic boxes.

But for what it's worth what you've got your DC does sound really lovely and I bet they'll have a great Christmas Day.

[KERALA1]

I get stocking fillers from our local charity shop. No point spending £6 on a book that will be read once, they are 50p in the charity shop. Ditto jewellery - for £1 per item there are nice necklaces and earrings great for stockings. Have you got a Tiger shop near you?

TBH I would be more worried if my kids reacted negatively to the presents you describe. I would worry I had raised hideous Verruca Salt type children. Am sure your children aren't like that and will be thrilled.

[ErnesttheBavarian]

OP, I think it sounds fine.

My problem is that my older dc don't want or need or ask for anything. No relatives buy them anything either. So it looks like they'll get a couple of tiny things and a bit of money. 8 year old dd however is exremely easy to buy for, want loads of stuff and will probably end up with a big pile. I am worried about the huge disparity.

[GrumpyOldBag]

That's a huge amount of presents.

My kids get much less than that.

Maybe it's time to teach them there's more to life than huge piles of gifts and the true value of things?

[NovemberInDailyFailLand]

I don't think there is any need to 'bulk out the piles'.

My three (20, 14, and new baby) receive modest gifts and always have done. We're comfortably off 'middle class', but don't think piles and piles of items at Christmas is necessary, or a good thing.

[Lionking1981]

Thanks all for your responses. I know I am being mad. Mistress Merryweather the present counting and other people's reaction to it . My mum is as bad as ever. When I went to see her yesterday, she was gleefully eating tinned tomatoes on toast for her tea because she had spent all her money on presents and Christmas food.

Thankyou for the toothbrush idea. My kids were begging me for electric toothbrushes a month ago and I can get them for a couple of pounds. They will love those.

And Picard's, thankyou so much for your kind offer. That is so lovely of you but I think they will be happy with what they have.

[glueandstick]

That sound like a huge amount of gifts and slightly ludicrous that you need to worry how they will react!

They are gifts and gifts should be appreciated no matter what. The demanding and having so much stuff is pretty sad actually.

I'd say we are probably considered higher end earners and we're only doing a stocking with a soft toy, book and a few bits and pieces like bath bombs. Granted ours is only little but we don't see the need for the mass consumerism that happens.

My husband has a couple of books coming and a stocking with bits and bobs in. I'm not sure I've actually got anything at all because I had new shoes and there is nothing else I need.

Each to their own I suppose. We're just looking forward to nice food, films and the brakes put on life for a week.

[ChewedUpRope]

You've already spent a lot, and you're still desperate to spend more (to the point of anxiousness). Your level of concern is not normal.

Maybe you should take this as an opportunity to start instilling in your children a sense of Christmas as a time of fun and family rather than just gifts and money. That way you might avoid passing on this excessive concern with it all that you've obviously picked up from your parents/childhood.

[LagunaBubbles]

This year for their main presents the younger 2 had Nintendo DS on their lists, which we have managed to pick up second hand. No boxes but we will put them in a nice gift bag, they wont care they arent new. Means we could get them other stuff to.

[LagunaBubbles]

When it comes to list making i say to the kids make a lost of ideas (i never use the word 'want' as thats when they expect to get it all). I then say i/santa will choose from their ideas a few gifts to give them. They are always happy with that

That's exactly what we do (boys now 8, 14 and 23!), has always worked for us. That way Santa brings them one or 2 things of it and we say we will buy a few to. And then they are getting something they want plus its still a bit of a surprise. We do end up getting other stuff not on the list to.