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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Last minute party invite

20 replies

MrsClueless · 08/12/2016 17:54

My son received a party invite today for laser quest at a local soft play. It's on Saturday. This Saturday. Do people usually book/invite so last minute or are we the second batch of invitees after some of the first batch couldn't attend? Very short notice but especially so at this time of the year. What is the general expectation re notice for such parties? what others experiences are of this?

OP posts:

Aeroflotgirl · 08/12/2016 17:56

Yes it looked like some of the A list could not make it, so they asked your ds to make up the numbers. Don't go if you are busy, or your ds does not want to.

DefinitelyNotAJourno · 08/12/2016 17:57

Did he just receive it, or has it been festering in his bag or school desk / tray for three weeks....?

Original poster

MrsClueless · 08/12/2016 18:01

No, I check his bag every night and it's only arrived today. I saw another child hand one to his mum too at pick up today. My sons best friend is obviously on the third round of invites as he hasn't got one yet.

OP posts:

NavyandWhite · 08/12/2016 18:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SixtyDegreesNorth · 08/12/2016 18:07

At this time of year it is no wonder folk have been unable to go. I found this with a party Halloween Weekend.

With some parties there will be a maximum number, and possibly a minimum too.

Please do not think about if he is on list B. Just take it as a kind invitation to a party.

Think of how the child would feel if only a handful of kids turned up. I was faced with that, and with a 4yo and his first party that would have been awful.

Original poster

MrsClueless · 08/12/2016 18:11

Good point sixty. If we are free of course he can go. He's very excited and I would hate for his friends not to turn up. Just waiting for my husband to get home to see what the plans are. Hadn't factored in an unexpected party!

OP posts:

Mintychoc1 · 08/12/2016 18:11

It'll be the B list invite.
DS had a laser party once, and they had strict number rules - it had to be between 8 and 14. It was a nightmare - couldn't invite too many in case they all said yes and we had too many kids. Couldn't invite just a few in case lots were busy and we didn't have enough kids for the party to go ahead. In the end I invited 14 but it was the summer holidays so people took ages to reply. Then they started dropping out, so I had to quickly invite some people who hadn't been invited first time round.
It was great fun in the end, and actually more fun with the random mix of friends/neighbours etc who didn't usually mix!

bunnylove99 · 08/12/2016 18:18

In my experience invites normally arrive about 4 weeks before the party. So it is possible your DS has been asked as part of a 'second round.' If he would like to go and is free to do so then I would just go with it regardless of where he made the A list. Some of these parties are too expensive for parents to invite everyone from the outset!

Original poster

MrsClueless · 08/12/2016 18:23

If he can go he will. Just a bit surprised at the very short notice. He's only 5 so not used to the whole school party etiquette yet.

OP posts:

Sunseed · 08/12/2016 18:24

Or maybe it's because it's a last minute arrangement made by a slightly harassed and disorganised parent who has just realised that they need to get something sorted for their DC's birthday.

No A or B lists involved, no need for paranoia.

Original poster

MrsClueless · 08/12/2016 18:28

Unlikely due to the popularity of this venue. And who forgets a child's birthday until 2 (possibly 3/4) days before.

OP posts:

Jessicabrassica · 08/12/2016 18:31

I had a call from dd's friend's mum one day in the summer to invite dd to a party in half an hour. Apparently it was only that morning the birthday girl realised she hadn't invited my dd and had a complete melt down about it. Dd threw on her best frock and had a ball!!

Lazyafternoon · 08/12/2016 18:32

If you saw another child got one today I'd agree with the last minute POV. Birthday child has probably been pestering and parents finally given-in amid a million other things going on at the moment.

Although after seeing many birthday party invite threads on MN it could be that the parents have decided to leave invites until the last minute in the hope of getting RSVPs as now late enough for people to know if they are free!

Lazyafternoon · 08/12/2016 18:35

If you saw another child got one today I'd agree with the last minute POV. Birthday child has probably been pestering and parents finally given-in amid a million other things going on at the moment.

Norma27 · 08/12/2016 19:51

My daughter was recently invited to a party and we were told it was because somebody else couldn't go and she was a reserve! She went and had a fab time as it was one of best parties she had been to. Don't feel offended as people often can't invite everybody they would like to.

lalaloopyhead · 08/12/2016 20:00

Could be 2nd round invite or could be last minute party. I'm trying organise something for my daughter for a week on Monday and although I've text a couple of parents I know I still haven't got myself organised enough to sort actual invites, I now realise it will be only a week until the party by the time invites go to school on Monday.....that is assuming I actually get them done!!!

Alorsmum · 08/12/2016 21:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NicknameUsed · 08/12/2016 21:56

Does it really matter whether it was an afterthought invitation? Some people are so easily offended these days.

I have read so many threads on here from parents of disappointed children where hardly anyone turned up to their child's party, so having a plan B isn't necessarily a bad thing, surely?

Basicbrown · 08/12/2016 22:07

Yabu. It's simple if you can make it then accept if not decline. Why the angst...?

hyperhypermum · 08/12/2016 22:37

I got a text towards the end of the summer hols for a party on the training day before they went back to school. I did wonder if DC was 2nd choice as, like Lazer Quest, it was a party with limited numbers. However, DC was keen to go & we were free so was happy to accept. I did see the mum afterwards who apologised for the short notice but said she had been very disorganised what with the holidays and realised last minute that she could get a great deal on the training day. Presumably she had been texting mums until she got enough kids but who cares, it's always nice to be asked...

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