to give up on online dating

[invisiblecloak]

After a year of mundane messaging, a few non-starter dates and one slightly upsetting letdown. I just don't think the right man for me is online, so I have thrown the towel in, ime it seems to put me in contact with lots of men, it's just that they are all highly unsuitable for me. The problem is that as I am self employed and all my friends are in relationships its really difficult to meet anyone outside of online dating apps. Maybe I'm meant to be alone....I'd get cats, but I'm allergic.

YANBU< Tried online dating - it didn't work. You should be a good catch OP, just try searching for women without cats (you can do this on some sites) - you are a tiny monority

minority even

My stbxh has started old. You're best to stay well clear. Honest, trustworthy, kind he is not. Fuck he hasn't even moved out yet.

Sorry I'm new to the site. I did not mean to message. I meant to add to thread. Sorry!

Which sites?

I think only the expensive sites are with it. I know of a good few success stories and happy marriages (myself included)!

Good luck!

*worth it!

I thought that but I met my fiancé on Tinder when it was really new. I had tried online dating many times without luck, and you totally have to put the time in go on a load of crappy dates but it only takes one to go well!

The way I looked at it, if I went on a date and it was shit then it was a funny story. I would also arrange dates somewhere I hadn't been so I got to try out loads of nice bars I wouldn't otherwise have been to. Yeah it's awkward and stressful and not a lot of fun but just because it hasn't worked for you yet, doesn't mean it won't! I know it's disheartening but keep your spirits up

Swiped "no" to everyone in a 50 mile radius on Tinder. Am not cut out for Tinder.

I met my soon to be husband OLD.
Use a good paid for site, like Guardian Dating. Be picky. Get a trusted male friend to look over your profile.

Failing that, Sphynx cats are super cute and good for people allergic to fur.

I recommend Elite Singles :-)

Why is that Newtoday, what did you find good about them, I signed up for a trial and didn't find it any different to the others (same people, different wrapper) I'm interested in your experience though.

I would be selective, use more upmarket sites like The Times Dating, or E Harmony, or Match, not the usual Tinder, POF etc see how you go.

Thanks Aero I've not tried The Times dating (will give it a try), tried the others you mentioned though, full of duds for me.

I met my wife on a paid for on=line dating site 15 years ago.

Keep trying, I had a few dozen disastrous dates before I met my DW. Looking back even the disastrous dates were valuable is working out who I wanted to meet. I exclude from the valuable the twice I was stood up and spent ages waiting in vain.

I met my DFiance on POF 3 years ago, so I am glad I tried it. There were a lot of time wasters and bull-shitters though, and a few sleaze-balls too! It can be a great way to meet someone but also stressful. With my DP, I actually picked his profile out first and contacted him first, his description of himself jumped out at me and I somehow knew he was genuine.

You need the paid version of Elite, and it does take time. But I met my future husband there!

I did have the paid one newtoday, cost me £50 I think, wasn't for me. Congratulations, sounds like you got lucky!

Pof and really all the free sites are a playground for narcissists, psychopaths and pretty much anyone who wishes to misrepresent themselves online.

I'm ND so I tend to fall prey to these people. Hence, I don't do it anymore. Your bullshit radar needs to be running at 100%!

If you paid £50 was that only for one free month?

But yes, I really did! First date off the site (so didn't actually take me long but I have heard it can take a while to get into it!).

I totally agree with you lottie, though there may be some really lovely people on these free sites, usually they attract the crap who can't be arsed to pay. Your own personal bulshit radar needs to be running at 200%. With any dating you have to be aware and excercise a massive dose of common sense, and gave your wits about you, even more for these types of sites.

YANBU, I hated it. It gives this illusion that there's thousands and thousands of people out there and makes people picky about stupid things. And the dates are hard work.

Most of the people I know who met partners online met more on a common interest site rather than a specific dating site, if that makes sense. Then you already know what you have in common.

Me and a friend both met our now DHs through Guardian Soulmates. I also had two short term relationships prior to meeting DH through that site. I do think you need to pick your sites carefully. How much chatting do you do before a date? I talked quite a bit by email before going on a date and felt I had a pretty good idea about compatibility before meeting up with someone. This approach isn't right for everyone though.