To be fuming?

[PigInMuck86]

While tidying up the bedroom i found two sperm sample pots - rang DH and he hadn't bothered to get tested after his vasectomy in June as its just a formality. I am bloody fuming. Three babies - three hyperemis pregnancies, PTSD after dd2s birth, AND, PND and the last baby had a heart problem (thankfully resolved now) which entailed 10 sodding months bed rest. I was all set to get my tubes tied whem he offered to have the snip as it was a smaller op. And now i don't even bloody know if hes been fertile all these months. Surely masturbating into a fucking pot isn"t too difficult?

Odds are that the vasectomy has worked but what an absolute bloody dickhead! What would he have done if he'd gotten you pregnant!?

YANBU to be fuming, it's a massive breach of your trust and he was risking your health with an unplanned pregnancy.

Yes , YANBU at all. What a dickhead. Has he apologized?

It is NOT a formality.
The sperm tests are really important.
It is not safe to assume no live sperm after the snip - otherwise why would 2 samples be required?

Thats my argument :-( i honestly don't know what would have happened if i got pregnant, my consultant said another pregancy would be highly dangerous but my religion forbids arbotion. Yes hes apologised and promised to ring the clinic to arrange the tests. I'm not pregnant thank goodness but am feeling betrayed. Hes never lied before

Yanbu! It took my dh almos a year, a fucking year! I made him wear condoms and eventually I refused sex until altogether be sorted it, he was taking the piss. Honestly wtf is wrong with them sometimes!

This is a rare occasion when being 'fuming' is actually justified

What an absolute dickhead knowing that the doctor has warned you that another pregnancy could seriously harm your health it wouldn't of taken much effort on his part to have the 2 samples done banish him to the sofa for a few nights the dozy git and if that doesn't work then hammer some 9 inch nails in to his balls that will certainly teach him a lesson lol.

Totally runner I came on here to say calm down but WTAF?!! No sex until he can prove his swimmers are no more

So did I Dartmoor

actually I'm also fuming at this.

You are entirely right to be fuming.

I would be too.

Another who was about to jump on the thread and say CALM DOWN DEAR after reading the title, but bloody hell, fume away. What a dickhead.

Definitely right to be fuming! He needs to pull all the stops out to make that right. Flowers, cleaning bathrooms, childcare, chocolate etc!

Stupid man!!!!

Ugh

I was going to say 'What an absolute wanker'

But on this occasion it's really a bad thing that he's not...

YANBU OP, he's a prize twat.

another vote for horrible and appalling - he risked putting you in an invidious position where you'd potentially have to choose between your life and the baby's. If he's religious he ought to go and see his relevant faith leader and ask how to make amends. After he's done the tests of course. Appalling.

Why on earth did did he ever think that this was ok?!

Oh no you are absolutely right to be fuming. Mr Elbows post vasectomy sample came back positive so it's very much not just a formality it's a necessity.

I'd be fuming, but my over riding emotions would be worry & sadness.

He knows how bad your pregnancies were & he knows how dangerous another pregnancy could be for you, so much so you were prepared to get your tubes tied. Yet he didn't make sure the Op had worked and knowingly put you at risk.

For me, that would be seriously damaging to my relationship, quite possibly a deal breaker as I'd feel he didn't love me or care about me if he could do that.

Its the callous disregard for your health - your life even that would make me incredibly sad. In the six months since his vasectomy, how many times has he put your life at risk? I think it's on par with giving your partner an STI you know you have and not telling them.

Massive betrayal of trust there. I'm not even sure that being ousted to the sofa would be enough for me, because the sofa is in the house, and quite frankly, I wouldn't even want to look at him for quite a while, I'd be so furious.

What are you going to do Pig?

It's totally understandable that you feel betrayed. Does he understand the severity of the situation now?

Yes he's now rung the clinic. He maintains he was embaressed. Yeah thats going to get sympathy - dd2s birth alone there were 6 people in the room. And why not fucking tell me? Would actually love to see the religious leaders response when he confesses this after the sheer moral dilemma doing the op was. And breathe. Hes in meetings all aft so won't see him tonight now.

I even took the samples to the hospital myself. The Secretary was naughty and discussed the results with me. He wasn't clear .

yes pig personally I'd be insisting he discuss the risks he took with your religious leaders. Nothing else would do for me. Embarrassment? Absolutely not acceptable. He's had a very, very lucky escape from some absolutely awful consequences for you and a baby.