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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to talk to my child

64 replies

Chocoholicmonster · 07/12/2016 23:41

Walking down the road chatting to my newborn. Someone stopped me just to tell me how stupid I was because "the baby doesn't have a clue what I'm saying so social interaction is pointless".

I wasn't discussing current politics or world news with my newborn. Just idle chit chat. So am I stupid & being unreasonable to converse with my baby? Surely every parent 'chats' to their child so they learn their voice & feel somewhat comforted to know they have you near?

OP posts:
Beeziekn33ze · 08/12/2016 00:07

There was the day I went to collect DGS from nursery with facing away from me buggy. I was chatting away to him as I always did. Then I realised that I was on my way TO nursery with an empty buggy. Oh dear!

GiddyOnZackHunt · 08/12/2016 00:11

Babies learn the rhythm of speech long before the words. Nursery rhymes and chatting to your baby form the basis of language.
DH was utterly freaked out by the talking to a baby but I strongarmed him into just wittering away.
Both dc have mad vocabularies :)

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 08/12/2016 00:11

I once read a funny letter In Take a break, I think.
This women wrote that she was on the bus on her own. Her little one had not long started school, anyway. On the bus she went past a field with cows and she said. Look at all the moo cows. Forgetting her dd wasn't with her.
Grin

paxillin · 08/12/2016 00:17

Give it a year and you'll be belting out "The wheels on the bus go round and round.." without even blushing.

honeyroar · 08/12/2016 00:24

I hope that after the random stranger had spoken you simply looked at your baby and said "never talk to strangers, especially weird ones like this" and walked off!

GiddyOnZackHunt · 08/12/2016 00:25

My youngest is in their 4th term at school. I still shout Tractor!!! in the car on my own Blush

Jemimapuddingduck · 08/12/2016 00:36

Talk to my little one all the time, when we go to the shops I ask her what we need to get next on the list or what shop shall we go to next I presume all the smiles from strangers are because it's cute not because I'm weird and shall continue to believe it is so...Grin

Atenco · 08/12/2016 00:53

The need to talk to babies isn't even new science. I remember feeling guilty over thirty years ago because I wasn't very good at talking to my baby, whereas my mother used to chatter away to her all the time.

Italiangreyhound · 08/12/2016 00:57

OP that is how children learn to talk, by listening to others talk and engage with them. I am totally surprised this idiot shared their 'wisdom' with you.

Please do not stop talking to your baby.

And if anyone says anything similar again I'd probably suggest saying "The conversation I've just had with my baby is way more scintillating than the one you are having with me!"

jayisforjessica · 08/12/2016 01:00

Studied Linguistics at university, specifically language acquisition in wee ones. Talking to them, even when they're preverbal, is SO important because it's helping them forge so many synapses in their wee brains, getting them used to the idea that conversation is give and take (especially if you're pausing and pretending that the baby gurgles are his way of answering you!), teaching them the way speech sounds, cadence, pacing... So much you're teaching them just by having a little yarn to them!

Maybe she's just jealous she didn't have anyone to natter on to!

And how sweet that your wee one has started smiling - you're definitely on the right track as a mum, I think!

Procrastination4 · 08/12/2016 01:08

Well, that woman clearly hasn't a clue! Keep up the good work, OP! My mother (retired teacher of almost 40yrs experience) thinks it's so sad to see mums out with their babies or toddlers and they're spending the time yapping on their phones rather than engaging with their children. As a teacher myself, I cannot believe the number of children coming to school now (I've been teaching 4/5yr olds-they're Junior Infants, not sure what the equivalent is in England, but here it's the first year of primary school)who are unable to speak properly/mispronunciation of common words/very poor sentence structure/extremely difficult to understand. It's much more prevalent than when I started teaching. So, keep talking to your little baby. He/she will learn so much from you and good input in these early years is absolutely vital for the future development of your child. (I'll get off the soapbox now!)

Italiangreyhound · 08/12/2016 01:13

I think she might have been lonely and looking to start a conversation. I think it is such an odd thing to say to a mum and baby, that this the only explanation that makes sense!

AcrossthePond55 · 08/12/2016 01:34

What an idiot! We actually have PSAs (Public Service Announcements) on TV here that say 'Talk to your baby, Sing to your baby, Read to your baby' as research has shown that babies (regardless of age) who are talked, sung, or read to from an early age learn and develop faster.

missm0use · 08/12/2016 01:42

They sound like a complete tool!!! All research shows that you should talk / read /sing to your child as much as possible!! And to have your baby parent facing in a pram / pushchair as they get 70% more interaction with a parent than facing forward!

Not sure why that toss pot felt they had to comment on you talking to your newborn. Maybe they were having a bad day! Hope you told your newborn all about the rude person that interrupted your conversation loudly as soon at they wandered off to shit in someone else's slipper! Xx

steff13 · 08/12/2016 01:46

I talked to my babies when they were in utero. When my eldest son was born, he needed to be in the NICU, and I had had an epidural, so I couldn't see him right away. When I finally got to see him, I said "hi" to him, and even under his little oxygen helmet he recognized my voice and turned towards me. That's one of my favorite memories ever. If a fetus can recognize its mother's voice in utero, then a baby certainly can benefit from being spoken to.

LauderSyme · 08/12/2016 02:17

Well, someone is being stupid and unreasonable in this scenario OP - but it definitely isn't you!
You are doing exactly the right thing with your baby, for all the very good reasons PP's have elucidated.
While I was still in hospital with ds, myself and the woman in the next bed were awake with our newborns in the wee small hours. I was quietly chatting away to ds and she said "You feel stupid, don't you, talking to no one?" I was Shock and Confused and replied "I'm not talking to no one, I'm talking to my baby!"
Ds starting talking in sentences very early and when I laughed - a tiny bit in exasperation! - with my mother about the constant verbal stream of toddler consciousness I endured, she grinned and asked me what I expected - as that was exactly what I had always done to him!

UnfitParent · 08/12/2016 09:03

They are the weird one.

I once got stopped in Sainsbury's for talking to myself. It was the first time in months I'd got to the shop without my twins and I'm so used to chatting to them in the pram I was walking round going 'oooo daddy might like this!' Smile

swizzlestar · 08/12/2016 09:06

I've chatted to all four of mine, it's brilliant interaction for them! I've always been fussy about my buggies too, so that they were parent facing for as long as possible.

Mine are all chatterboxes though, probably why Wink.

GinIsIn · 08/12/2016 09:09

I saw a bloke the other day who was clearly coming from dropping his DC at nursery - he marched up the road all by himself, blithely chattering away about the different noises that diggers can make.... Grin

HaveNoSocks · 08/12/2016 09:18

That person is stupid as hell. Of course they don't understand but they like the sound. How do you they learn if you don't talk to them.

arethereanyleftatall · 08/12/2016 09:25

I think this depends on how you are doing it.

We all know the research says you should, and talking/singing whilst you're at home or walking along a quiet path is lovely and good for baby.

However, there is a desperately irritating parent at our school who performance parents the entire time in a really really loud voice. 'Oh Tabitha, look at the orange, it's so round, that's called spherical, it grows on trees in Spain, the capital is madrid, but you already know that don't you Tabitha darling. Oh look, an avocado...' and on and on, it's truly awful.

guinnessguzzler · 08/12/2016 09:27

People are weird. Talking to your child is so valuable. Plus, even if it was a total waste of time (which it really isn't!) why should a random stranger care?! People really are just weird.

MrsDustyBusty · 08/12/2016 09:29

However, there is a desperately irritating parent at our school who performance parents the entire time in a really really loud voice. 'Oh Tabitha, look at the orange, it's so round, that's called spherical, it grows on trees in Spain, the capital is madrid, but you already know that don't you Tabitha darling. Oh look, an avocado...' and on and on, it's truly awful.

Eh yeah. Sorry not sorry.

Macauley · 08/12/2016 09:33

I also talk away to my dogs Hmm I chat away to my bump too and will keep talking when baby arrives.

StarlingMurderation · 08/12/2016 09:36

No! Talk away. It's really good for your baby.