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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think if you want to take part in office secret Santa

150 replies

lastqueenofscotland · 07/12/2016 23:32

You have to get into the spirit of it....

Not gladly accept the well thought out £10 gift from another colleague while handing the person you got (who you happen not to like) a bottle of that £1 Alberto balsam shampoo and a normal sized galaxy bar.

We are all on fairly senior roles in the city so money is NOT an issue.

She'd spend more than the budget on lunch a day

I'm not even the reciever of the gift, but I organised it within the team and am annoyed at the lack of effort when everyone else tried Angry

OP posts:
Tigresswoods · 08/12/2016 19:27

We used to do it at a golf club I was a member at. It was just buy something for £5 & we'd all pick from the pile.

I bought 5scratch cards one year. I still thing that's the best thing you can get for a fiver.

My work are doing it this year for the first time in 6 years since the "marrow incident"

ComtesseDeSpair · 08/12/2016 19:29

We specifically have to buy our Secret Santa gifts from charity shops to reinforce the idea of the season of giving. It actually takes a lot of the pressure off because everyone understands that their gift is going to be limited by what happens to be available in a charity shop on a given day - although we're a nice, friendly lot in my office anyway.

This year I got a colleague who I drew our lovely but immensely fussy Team Leader but managed to get a good gift balance between nice and funny.

SaagMasala · 08/12/2016 19:53

Oh, Comtesse reminded me...

My DH is a member of a social group that always has a small get-together at Christmas, and they have a raffle, the proceeds going to a local charity. As members age & drift away, or pass on, the numbers have been steadily depleting over the years, so the average turn-out the last few years has been about 12-15 people.
It was noted that the value of the raffle prizes far exceeded the ticket sales (most people playing safe & going for wine, chocolate or toiletries, doubtless also including recycled presents and other raffle prizes!). A couple of years ago, one bright spark suggested they put a limit on the amount spent on said raffle prizes - of £1. This then turned into the "Poundshop Challenge" where people had to find the most imaginative, useful or best value item in a local pound shop. Some of the finds have been truly amazing!

The group now sends a fixed donation to the charity.

MumToTheBoy · 08/12/2016 22:02

I love Secret Santa! Over the last two weeks of term we leave clues for our SS, hinting at who we are, not enough to give it away but enough to get people talking and guessing, its so much fun. When we get to the end of term we pile the gifts in the staff room and take it in turns to read out our clues and try to guess who our SS is - if you get it right you can open your gift! The first year we did it some people didn't do clues but every year since everyone has joined in and has really enjoyed it

DurhamDurham · 09/12/2016 11:01

Our CEO picked our cleaner out of the hate to buy a present for and didn't understand why everyone was Hmm when she bought her sparkly pink rubber gloves, dustpan and brush and feather duster.

YelloDraw · 09/12/2016 11:07

My DH's work does 'Dirty Santa'.

That is great! I love the idea of that.

YelloDraw · 09/12/2016 11:08

My work are doing it this year for the first time in 6 years since the "marrow incident"

Come on... you habe to tell us what that was!

KitKat1985 · 09/12/2016 12:22

Oh I really struggle to enjoy Secret Santa. Sorry. I love buying gifts for loved ones but often Secret Santa gifts end up being for people you don't even know that well, so you end up all just exchanging generic sets of toiletries or chocolates, as generally the budget is only about £5-10. It's particularly awkward if you get someone hard to please or senior to you at work. I do always take part though as I don't want to be a kill-joy.

Twice I've taken part in Secret Santa and not got a gift out of it. Most memorably was on Christmas day when I was at work (nurse) and missing family so I decided to open my Secret Santa to cheer myself up. Except I didn't have one. Turns out the SS organiser had messed up and the person who drew me as their SS didn't even know we were doing SS, and was out of the country!

And sorry I'd be a bit peeved with a charitable donation instead of a gift.

HarrietVane99 · 09/12/2016 12:39

I was part of a group of friends that used to meet up for a pre-Christmas meal, and do SS as part of it. We didn't have assigned people to buy for, just put all the presents in a bag and grabbed at random.

For the first couple of years, we agreed a no chocs and no toiletries rule. Then the no toiletries rule seemed to be forgotten, and one year everyone but me and I think one other person bought gift sets of toiletries.

(I'm still in touch with most of the group, but we don't manage whole group meetups so often, and tend to get together in twos or threes.)

Solo · 09/12/2016 13:33

Last Christmas I took part in my first ever Secret Santa; the budget was/is £5 and I'd been working there for 5 or 6 months ~ it's a small office. The person I got was someone that I liked but obviously did not know too well, but I made a point of looking at her, noting that she loved a particular style of silver jewellery. I talked to her and I listened to what she said. I bought her a silver bangle from eBay which upon opening she declared "I love it" and promptly put it on her wrist.

My gift was a Marks & Spencer Walnut Whip plastic bubble thing with a few chocolates in. No thought whatsoever and yes I was disappointed as I get very little in the way of gifts, so was looking forward to receiving something 'nice'.

Also, I don't like the white mallow gunk in Walnut Whip.

So this year...I thought I'd give a French Connection toiletry box set which cost more than double the budget (I bought in the sales though) for a different colleague, but I'm wavering a bit as it's just 'smellies'. Will this be alright do you think or do I need to go shopping again?

gamerwidow · 09/12/2016 13:44

We do a system where you can stick or twist on your secret santa present and all the presents are given at random so if you give a crap gift you run a risk of ending up taking it home.

NathalieM · 09/12/2016 14:40

Involved in lots and lots of little secret santas this year...which means that I don't mind if I get one or two...debatable...presents. I never understand why some people put such little effort into their gift choices? If it's organised right you should have plenty of time to get something good, even if it's £5! I'm getting my secret santa gifts from RED5 this year, because they have free deliveries on orders over £20 www.red5.co.uk/christmas-gifts/secret-santa-gift-ideas.aspx peeeerfect xx

Goldenhandshake · 09/12/2016 14:44

Wow there are some really mean fuckers taking part in SS. Ours were all well behaved this year, mainly chocolate, booze or bath type stuff, so very inoffensive.

Flingmoo · 09/12/2016 14:55

We had our work Christmas meal last night and I was so gutted with my Secret Santa present. Sad I had my boss and I got her a really thoughtful gift nicely wrapped with several goodies coming to the £10 budget we were given.

Meanwhile the gift I recieved was a crappily wrapped box of Lindt chocolates which I'm absolutely certain costs less than £5. It was an opt-in one so I just don't think that's fair Sad I get it if I'm hard to buy for but at least throw in a couple of other goodies to bring it up to the total and give me something more to show for it when everyone was asking me "Ooh, what did you get?!"

It's not even that I particularly wanted a special gift as I'm trying to reduce clutter in my house and don't see the point in unneeded gifts. I was more upset about the humiliation of opening an obviously crap gift in front of everyone else and having to pretend I'm delighted while everyone else round the table was opening their thoughtful and exciting presents. I've been bullied at work in the last year or so, so this was just the icing on the shitty cake.

I am almost certain it was a bloke based on the wrapping and the handwriting on the note, I'm just not sure which one.

isseywithcats · 09/12/2016 14:58

in four years of SS at our work i have bought first two years and received nothing back, last year i got a rather nice bottle of prosecco and dont know who my secret santa is this year, and the girl i got has only just started working here so hopefully she will like what i got her last year one girl i work with spent a lot of time and thought on her buy but received one of those milk tray boxes you only get from poundland with 8 chocolates in them and nothing else

WaxyBean · 09/12/2016 15:04

Another office that does dirty Santa here - much easier to buy for as you buy something hpgenerically desirable than for a specific victim. Brilliant fun and everyone ends up happy.

Flingmoo · 09/12/2016 15:16

isseywithcats That's how I felt this year with my small box of chocs compared to everyone else's thoughtful £10 gifts Sad

WannaBe · 09/12/2016 15:17

TBH I think people have far too many expectations of SS. As long as you go into it knowing that you're likely to get some worthless tat, then anything else is a bonus. Grin

Flingmoo · 09/12/2016 15:31

I wouldn't have minded a novelty gift/tat but at least make it something fun to open and not less than half the budget - £10 means £10, not £4! Xmas Angry

BadLad · 09/12/2016 15:39

Not gladly accept the well thought out £10 gift from another colleague while handing the person you got (who you happen not to like) a bottle of that £1 Alberto balsam shampoo and a normal sized galaxy bar.

Obviously I am misunderstanding the concept. I thought the whole point of secret Santa was that the recipient had no idea who had bought them their gift. Your version sounds like the blindingly-obvious Santa.

LagunaBubbles · 09/12/2016 15:54

the ladybird books for adults make an appearance too

Yeh Ive bought the Mindfulness one as part of my SS this year, we work in a psychotherapy dept.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 09/12/2016 16:27

LagunaBubbles so have I Grin its a bit of an in joke in my health promotion role.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 09/12/2016 16:59

I've done it twice at work now, I work remotely so don't spend that much time with my colleagues. This year, I got a colleague who I work closely with and like so exceeded the budget (£5 which is too small) to get him a leather headphone organiser. More useful than it sounds, I hope he likes it.

One year I got a pack of horrible decorated biscuits. It shows zero thought and even my husband wouldn't eat the things.

This year I asked the organiser to rig it so that I didn't get the one person I really don't like - nor allow him to buy for me either.

It is a lot of angst though, for so very little.

sodabreadjam · 09/12/2016 17:02

Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

First experience - working in a large office with over 40 people. We didn't know each other very well so tended to buy "safe" gift sets of smellies or bottles of wine. All a bit pointless.

2nd experience - six of us from different organisations working on a project togther. Farewell Christmas lunch and secret Santa organised. One person didn't turn up (their employer wouldn't let them out for the lunch) so someone got a present that had been chosen for someone else. Wrong gender present, as I recall.

On the other hand, a friend who comes from a large family does secret Santa with all the adults in the family. They have a "names out of the hat" social evening a few weeks before Christmas. Everyone has just one substantial present to buy - saves a lot of expense and more importantly, time and hassle. Kids still get presents from GPs, aunts and uncles, etc. It works well.

ChocolateWombat · 09/12/2016 19:49

You have to go into these things with very low expectations. Don't expect to get a quality gift (especially for a fiver) or one that has had loads of thought put into it. And don't feel upset about these things. They are not a big deal. It's not the source of your most deeply loved Christmas gift and there is no reason why anyone should spend ages choosing something.

I agree that people can be insensitive and there is the potential for bullying too. However I also think people can be overly sensitive too....about things like the level of effor put into choosing, or if the full allotted amount of money was spent. Really, there's much more in life to worry about and it really is t worth getting over invested about secret Santa with colleagues, some of who, you may barely know.

In my mind, it can be a bit of a laugh and lasts about 5 minutes. The slightly rude ones can be quite funny and funny is better than serious, because let's face it, no one is going to be spending g enough to be giving or getting a quality present. It may well be something left behind on the table at the end.

I always remember the time at an office do when someone was given chocolate wellies. The recipient was quite straight laced and a bit shocked, but opened the packet and we all ate them (pretty sure she didn't want to take them home) and laughed. End of.

Best avoided if either people are going to get over invested in the whole thing or re easily upset.