Dp's beard

[RoadrunnerMeepMeep]

Dp decided to stop shaving end of October and now has a full on beard. He absolutely loves his beard, has used just for men on the grey patches, brushes it every day, puts beard oil on it. I have said from the start I want him to be happy with himself and that it's his choice, but have also said that I prefer him clean shaven.

I really wish I could accept his beard as he loves it, and I do generally want him to feel good about himself. If i was male and my female partner decided to stop shaving, I'd get flamed for complaining. However, I really really hate his beard. For several reasons.

1. I hate the feel if it. I dont like to kiss him anymore as I hate the feel of the hair on my lips. I wish I didn't but I cant help it, it makes me cringe inside to touch it. Well aware I probably need to get a grip here, I have tried but feel like I'm forcing myself to have physical contact I dont feel comfortable with. I shouldn't feel this way over kissing my partner, but is my problem to overcome I suppose. He knows I dont like touching it and it kind of hurts that he wants the beard more than physical contact with me. Since our youngest was born our sex life has dwindled anyway (mostly my fault to be fair as usually too tired of an evening to do anything but sleep) but I feel like he's made it that bit harder to get 'it' back. Iyswim.

1. It makes him look so much older. I know, shallow, but he is a little older than me anyway (6 years) and I look young for my age (not a stealth boast) and the beard ages him a lot.

1. Around the time he started growing this beard, he started working with an old friend who he's known since childhood who also has a beard. So I dont even know if he genuinely wants a beard or if he's only growing it to be like his friend. Other examples of him copying friend, if I suggest going to an event he's not bothered either way, if friend is going he's there. They also started a hobby together but once friend stopped going, so did dp. Friend is a nice guy, but I want my dp to be himself. I'm in love with dp, not his friend.

I know I probably am being unreasonable here, but what do I do? Just get a grip and hope he gets bored of it soon?

Same happened here for a few months until the fucker got bored of it and shaved it off.

YANBU at all!!

My DH has done the same and I hate beards!! Watching with interest for advice...

Ah that's a horrible situation to be in

I've always told Dh I don't mind what he does but I really prefer him to be clean shaven.

He actually does listen to that though and does it.

My DP has grown a beard and it's because I absolutely love it so he's keeping it. Very manly but he has a great beard and hair too, curly and thick. Keeps them both nicely trimmed too.

He's my man mountain. Phwoar!

Hopefully he'll get bored too then, if all your other partners did. If not, I guess there's always taking a big chunk out of it with the clippers when he's asleep but then I know he'd just grow it back to make a point. Gah, I would stop shaving my armpits but I'd probably get fed up with that long before he would!

My husband grew a beard (not a fan). I just told him I didn't like it and he shaved it off. Is that wrong?! I don't like the hair touching my lip.

Beards are very fashionable at the moment, so maybe he's not copying his friend, just jumping on the bandwagon. If I had to scrape my face every day with a razor I might do the same!

I have two beardies in my family. DH has a fast-growing beard and can get it looking presentable in 3 days. It's come and gone so many times I honestly don't notice what he's got, but I do remind him that he needs to look well groomed for his job, so no beard blowing in the breeze! It's usually just moustache and chin. He's pepper and salt so it looks quite cool in a semi-satanic way and I love him however he looks (prefer kissing without a 'tache, though).

DS also has a strong beard but at 18 I think it's NOT RIGHT . I struggle to recognise my baby under that "musketeer" face camouflage. He does swordfighting as a hobby so it's also part of the look.

However, I keep my opinions to myself and think everybody has the right to look as they choose as long as they're clean and tidy.
Would you accept DH dictating how you cut your hair or wear makeup? An honest and diplomatic opinion, sure, but after that it's really up to the individual.

As far as I'm concerned, a woman has as much right to tell a man what to do with his facial hair as a man does to tell a woman what to do with her pubic hair.

His body, his face, his decision.

Still waiting for my dh to get bored of his 4 years later!
If he made a comment about my body hair, either growing or shaving I would tell him to fuck off, so I think YABU.

God I hate beards. Especially the horrendous bushy variety.