AIBU to say that enough is enough?

[HormonalChicken]

Just that really. It doesn't get easier. I'm so tired. And each problem solved causes 5 more to pop up. I literally have no idea where to start.

Can you tell us a bit more op? Then we might be able to give you some advice.

Would like to help if possible, but need a little more information.

Relationship problems, children, work?

I have an emotionally abusive ex husband who has conditioned our children to the point where when I step in to try and stop him abusing them they turn on me for trying to remove him. I'am seeking advice for this so I can make sure it's dealt with correctly and so I can legally restrain him from unsupervised contact for their own good. We split 3 and a half years ago and he still has such a foothold in our lives as we have quite a delicate situation with my LL who still contacts him about the house. The LL and the living situation I'm in is a whole other thread and we're viewing a house tomorrow to rent and get away from here and finally be able to keep my ex out of my living area and my life as much as possible. It is so draining to have to be an audience to his drama because if I'm not around then his abuse goes unchecked. He repeatedly calls me me useless, worthless, bitch, etc in their hearing and screams at them for the smallest transgression before giving them treats (of all descriptions) so they forget the screaming.

I'm 14 weeks pg with my lovely new partner so quite hormonal. My ex has got worse since learning this.

I have three amazing DC and like most parents my life revolves around running after them. This sounds so stupid, but today he didn't take our youngest to dance (which I pay for and can't afford to waste money on lessons he won't take her to) and did take our son ( has additional needs and is doubly incontinent) to swimming. Son pooped in the pool, he wears swim nappies and incontinence trunks but sadly had a slight tummy upset which chose that moment to appear. He is non verbal so couldn't warn of feeling off. I feel awful that this happened and even more that it was ex there (normally it's me). He is now telling me that he won't pay for our son to go again ( this is a common stick used to beat me into submission, he knows I'd rather crawl over glass than see them miss out on a beloved activity, this is the only one he pays for, I pay for all the others) and the teacher won't have him again. A reasonable response I agree but I just feel so depressed that my son may miss out again ( he was progressing so well). Just been a bitch of a day all in all and I can't even sit in my living room without judgement. Sorry for the essay and ready to be told to get a grip.

Why is he in your house

No easy answer to that honestly. My mother does a huge amount of our school runs (to a different town) but is ill and can't do them all. She also then looks after my home educated daughter on the two-three mornings I work. Sometimes he needs to do the school run instead of her and until recently this wasn't too much of a problem, he got the kids ready while I got ready for work. He was still very loud and abusive to me, but never used to involve the children the way he does now. If I ask him to leave my house because he is being either unreasonable or abusive, he will, but with a huge song and dance to the kids that 'mummy's throwing me out again! Bye! See you next week!'. This then upsets them and they turn on me. I explain to them that no one should ever talk to another person the way he does to me and that's why I've asked him to leave the house. It then means that I either have to change my plans or my work and hope that my mother is well enough to help out in his place. Their school is a bus ride away so if I'm working at 9 in our town and it's a 40 min journey at least there and back ( if my son doesn't have too many issues on the ride) I'd still never make it to work and still have no one normally to watch my daughter. The problem is that the LL is quite a difficult one and I don't feel comfortable approaching him as he contacts my ex about the house. He is very involved for various reasons. It honestly will be easier to move out to a property my ex has nothing to do with and cannot be involved in. Until then I have no safe way of genuinely keeping him out of this house without raising suspicion and having questions from the LL. Him being around gives me panic attacks and I just want out.

I don't understand why you don't get the DC ready and then hand them over at the door to take to school?