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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dismissive teacher

10 replies

YellowKnickers · 07/12/2016 14:37

DD aged 7 was crying this morning, eventually got it out of her that she is struggling in maths. When I dropped her at school I popped in to see the maths teacher. I explained that she was upset and concerned that she wasn't able to keep up and asked if she could let me know what I could do at home to assist. Her response was "they are all struggling, tell her not to worry." Surely if they are ALL struggling then either the concept is too hard or the teaching isn't good enough. I spoke to her actual class teacher (they are streamline for maths) who told me what they are learning and said she'd email me some web links to help. AIBU to be annoyed at the maths teacher and her dismissive attitude? Or should I just shut up and work with DD at home?

OP posts:
Trifleorbust · 07/12/2016 14:43

Did she say why they are all struggling? It's not a case of the topic is inappropriate or the teaching is shit in a strict sense, as there are parts of her teaching set by the National Curriculum; she will have some discretion about what to teach but may very well not have a say about this particular topic.

RB68 · 07/12/2016 14:44

she was probably trying to be reassuring and maybe has plans to sort it. I would let it go and work at home on confidence in maths - do some stuff she can do find out what grounds the maths she is working on now and work on that with her e,g, times tables or number bonding etc. Sounds strange to work on stuff she knows but it reinforces the basics gives her confidence in her own ability and helps her with confidence in class when she needs to ask questions etc. We had similar issues and just generally working on stuff really helped

Original poster
YellowKnickers · 07/12/2016 14:47

That's the thing she was so dismissive, "they are ALL struggling" and then almost shooed me away! Ok, thanks for the advice, I will work with her at home and build up her confidence. Probably a touch of end of term exhaustion too which isn't helping her emotional state! I just don't want her to dread going to school.

OP posts:
Bestthingever · 07/12/2016 14:50

I think if you want a productive conversation with a teacher, you should make an appointment not 'pop' in in the morning when the teacher is trying to get ready for her day. I suspect she was trying to cut the conversation short.

Trifleorbust · 07/12/2016 14:50

If she was dismissive of you (you were trying to speak to her about the issue and she wasn't interested) then you would be reasonable to bring it up again. Dismissive in the sense that she doesn't think it is particularly an issue is different. She still should explain her thinking to you.

Trifleorbust · 07/12/2016 14:51

And yes, do make an appointment. Ask her when she is free, don't just grab her.

Original poster
YellowKnickers · 07/12/2016 15:01

She was crying this morning and maths was her first lesson, I really just wanted to let the teacher know she was anxious about it. I appreciate the teacher may well have been busy, but she could have said "why not make an appointment and we can work together to help her?" Or something alone those lines. I hate the thought of DD being anxious about something, especially if there is a way I could help.

OP posts:
Trifleorbust · 07/12/2016 15:03

I understand that she was anxious but that is one of the most busy times of the day for a teacher, when their attention is split several ways and they're trying to get the kids in and ready for the day. She may not have responded to you with patience but that's probably your fault for picking that time Sad I would try again over the phone and apologise for not picking a better time. Just say you would like to make an appointment.

Bestthingever · 07/12/2016 15:41

I would have sent a letter in to let her know how your dd was feeling and then requested an appointment. I'm a TA and I wouldn't bring anything up with a teacher first thing unless urgent as I know they are preoccupied with getting ready for the day.

WaggyMama · 07/12/2016 15:51

The trouble with kids is they leave everything to the last minute before getting upset. Did you establish from your DD what she was struggling with?

Also with the teacher, perhaps there is a piece of work they have just done and she has marked it and discovered they are all having problems. Maybe she having to find extra resources or lesson plans to address the problem but she really doesn't have to run it past you.

I also think children (and teachers) are very tired and distracted with Christmas and the excitement it brings.

I would wait until the New Year to see the teacher.

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